The Wedding Update

This wedding update is brought to you by PENNDOT. The Pennsylvania Department of Transportation -- using confusing signs to insure that you can get lost anytime, anywhere in the state in which I grew up.

299 days to go.

I should take this moment to point out the failure of certain people (coughjohnnygoblincoughlordoftruthcough) to point out the passing of the 300 day countdown to the end of my single life. Of course, I'm just asking for more abuse.

The quick news is that we now have a videographer. This apparently concludes the tortuous process of having to watch other people's wedding videos. Based on input from my married friends, I'm confident that I will never watch my own wedding video as many times as I've watched the promotional pieces.

But we also attended another wedding this weekend. Serious party, gorgeous church, wonderful people, good times had by all. But a few questions, in no particular order...

1. During the ceremony, the priest says the bit about what God has joined, "let no man divide." Maybe I watched too many TV weddings when I was a kid... but I remember the phrase "let no man tear asunder" being used more often. To me, the word "asunder" is much cooler and should be used more often. So what happened to it? Can I get a ruling on this from someone? Specifically, I'd like a ruling from the only man I know who is an expert on the Pope, the inner workings of British Parliament and Parliament Lights. You know who you are.

2. Good beer in PA, as always. But house liquor... ugh. Which reminds me -- gentlemen, bring your flasks next year.

3. Mass... another ruling on this. Generally, when I attend a wedding where they conduct mass, I'm forced to spend anywhere from 15-30 minutes trying to stay awake. Is it polite for me to send e-mails from my Blackberry while everyone else is receiving Communion?

4. Entry songs for the wedding party came up as a topic. My future wife has now vetoed Shama-lama Ding-dong. Yes, I'm upset, too.

5. They apparently did the bouquet toss and garter throw. Seriously, I don't think I've seen that in six years, and I attend a lot of weddings. Then again, I missed it this time as well, since I was out at the bar (I know, you're shocked).

6. Only one real quibble with the wedding date. Both the bride and the groom went to colleges with big-time football programs... but they're getting married on a fall Saturday??? And no, this has nothing to do with my late July wedding date.

Anyway, that's about it for now. Stay tuned for the next one -- I'll announce whether I'm wearing a cummerbund or a vest. That should generate some serious traffic on the site.