No Diploma For You

Someone needs to work on their sense of humor...

Eagleville High School Valedictorian Abe Stokla said all he wanted to do was give a memorable speech, but what he thought was funny, school leaders considered offensive.

In his speech, Stokla planned to say, “You have given us the minimum required attention and education to master any station at any McDonald’s anywhere. For that we thank you. Of course, I’m only kidding. Eagleville is a fine institute of higher learning, with superb faculty and staff.” He said all of the jokes were simply segues to build up the school with compliments.

But those in attendance at Eagleville’s graduation ceremony never heard that second part of Stokla’s speech because the school’s principal asked that the microphone be turned off when he varied from the speech he said he was going to deliver.

Eagleville High School principal Rhonda Holton said there were two sentences the school wanted Stokla to change.

“Because it implied that the students did not receive a quality education,” Holton said.

...Because of his speech, Stokla did not receive his diploma at the ceremony.

God forbid that someone imply that the students didn't receive a quality education, even in jest. Perhaps the principal protests a tad too loudly here.

In the meantime, I'm guessing Stokla will be president of his fraternity, based on the picture. He might even become the most powerful person on campus -- IFC President.

Sorry -- every now and then, I'm entitled to an inside joke.