More Reasons to Hate Reality TV

Please, just kill reality TV as soon as possible...

Ever since 2002, when then-fading rock star Ozzy Osbourne invited MTV cameras into his family home and became a national obsession, many of the formerly famous have had an invitation for another 15 minutes - and then some.

Summer TV was full of them, and a current wave is going strong on VH1, including Tommy Lee Goes to College, with the Motley Crue drummer on campus (Friday, 10 p.m. ET/PT); Rock School (Friday, 10:30 p.m. ET/PT), with Kiss' Gene Simmons taking over a class of classical music students; My Fair Brady (Sundays 9:30 p.m. ET/PT), with Brady Bunch (and Surreal Life 4) vet Chris Knight; and Breaking Bonaduce (Sundays 10 p.m. ET/PT) with Partridge Family star Danny.

And on Tuesday, summer's most successful celeb reality show gets a 90-minute encore with Dancing with the Stars: Dance-off (ABC, 8:30 p.m. ET/PT) as John O'Hurley and Kelly Monaco square off again.

And after that? More.

In March, TV Land will launch Living in TV Land, a series based on a 2004 special that chronicled a day at the racetrack with Eight Is Enough pop Dick Van Patten. The roster of "day in the life of" stars includes The Brady Bunch's Barry Williams pitching at Dodger Stadium and Batman's Adam West fly-fishing in Idaho. Additional play dates are being planned for Sherman Helmsley (The Jeffersons), William Shatner (Star Trek), Davy Jones (The Monkeys), Fred Willard and classic TV moms for a special Mother's Day installment. Sal Maniaci, TV Land's vice president of development and production, also is developing Back to Work with ..., in which casts of ensemble shows find employment at real-life versions of the workplaces where their old shows were set. One scenario in the works: The Love Boat cast goes back to work on a real cruise ship. TV Land is also in discussions for a second season of Chasing Farrah, with Farrah Fawcett.

There also are star-centric shows being developed by the likes of Tom Arnold and the soon-to-be-incarcerated Lil' Kim. Jack Osbourne's people are shopping to U.S. markets his new British reality TV adventure show called Jack Osbourne: Adrenaline Junkie.

There's another round of Dancing with the Stars coming on ABC. VH1 picked up I'm a Celebrity But I Wanna Be a Pop Star after NBC dropped it. Fox is recruiting famous singing wannabes for a celebrity edition of American Idol. And such reality-show repeat offenders as Surreal Life's Dave Coulier (Full House), Celebrity Boxing's Todd Bridges (Diff'rent Strokes), I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here's Bruce Jenner and American Juniors judge Deborah Gibson will attempt triple Salchows on Fox's Skating with Celebrities.

All this on top of at least three more editions of Surreal Life, a third round of Celebrity Fit Club and a second helping of (Hulk) Hogan Knows Best on VH1.

With so many shows in the works and stars shopping their own shows, competition for former celebs has become fierce. Reality king Mark Burnett abandoned plans for a celebrity edition of his Survivor franchise when he was unable to assemble a respectably famous cast who were willing to be castaways. And Mr. T turned down an invitation to The Surreal Life house, preferring to develop his solo show.

"The pond is getting pretty well fished, and booking (someone fresh) is getting harder and harder," acknowledges Michael Hirschorn, vice president of programming and production at VH1. About the only kind of celebrity who wouldn't cut it these days, he says, is "somebody who is just depressing."

Then again, the idea of Ted Lange really serving drinks aboard a cruise ship might be worth it.