The New Year's Resolutions

Here is my unedited list of New Year's Resolutions, preserved for purposes of making sure that I stick to them or face unending mockery from the dozen or so people who read this.

1. Lose 25-30 pounds, which will be front-loaded into the first two months of the year. I plan to weigh in for Costa Rica in March at a svelte 188. Somewhere, my wife is laughing.

2. Read 12 books. This is a modest goal, but we've got too much work to make anything more realistic.

3. Blog regularly. Now, my readers will laugh, but I promise a minimum of 15 posts a week, save for weeks when I'm out of the country or occupied by drug use... ahem, work. To make it easier, blog posts mocking John Kerry count.

4. Continue my campaign against the evil that is Starbucks. Obviously, this is the most important one.

5. Drink more wine. This is partly an effort to be more healthy and partly an effort to take advantage of the wedding gifts.

6. Continue my limited efforts at turning certain assorted thoughts into an unprofitable screenplay. I want to have 100 pages written by the end of June. Now, loyal reader NC is laughing hysterically.

7. Gamble more often. Everyone needs a vice, and I might as well have one where I have at least a reasonable possibility of financial gain. This means more poker (thanks to my sister-in-law and brother-in-law for helping enable this particular addiction), more time exercising my mind regarding particular sporting events and a trip to Las Vegas (or at least AC).

8. Get Sam Alito confirmed. Hey, I might as well take credit for that one in advance.

9. Get started on a certain project that the Southern Partisan and I have discussed for amending the Constitution. Might as well have one that we're likely to get accomplished.

10. Buy a flat-panel TV and install it successfully (we're guessing the second part might be much more difficult).

11. Be more prompt in returning calls and e-mails from friends and family. This is one where I was quite delinquent during the past year, and the excuse of planning a wedding and working at a pace that tested my endurance only goes so far. The people who care about you deserve more of your time -- if there's one resolution anyone wants to steal from me, this should be the one.

12. Floss regularly.

That's enough for 2006. As for 2005, I'm going to claim a 100% success rate on the New Year's resolutions, particularly the one about never lying to anyone about anything.

Hope all of you had a wonderful holiday -- welcome back to the world.