He Can Do Anything!

You know, I realize that this is the week for puff pieces about John Kerry, and that the press loves to lionize a Democrat. I even read them, mostly for the humor, but also attempting to learn more about the guy I spend my spare time ripping to shreds (yes, it is fun, thank you very much).

But here's my biggest beef -- can we get some intelligent writing about the guy? This short article from the Chicago Sun-Times proves my point. Apparently, Kerry is a "modern-day Renaissance man" because he can "play bass guitar in a rock band... ride a motorcycle on 'The Tonight Show,'... snowboard and ski and cycle and shoot. And, lest we forget, ... campaign for the nation's highest office while simultaneously tending to senatorial duties."

Leave aside for the moment that Kerry hasn't come anywhere close to fulfilling his Senatorial duties -- I think Orrin Hatch's dog has cast more votes than Kerry this year. Also ignore the fact that it repeats the stupid Kerry line about hunting that I noted earlier. According to this writer, because Kerry can afford several hobbies and he went to Yale, he qualifies as a Renaissance Man. Hey, I wish I married a billionaire heiress so I could spend my spare time snowboarding and cycling. Never mind that just about anyone in America would happily ride a motorcycle onto the Tonight Show set, if only to ram into Leno's chin and see if it could stop the bike.

Nothing personal, but I always thought Renaissance Men should be held to higher standards. But hey, who am I to argue with this genius? He provides examples of other gifted individuals who should share this distinction: Leonadro da Vinci, Benjamin Franklin, and.... P-Diddy.

Yes, you read that right. In a list of "History's Great Polymaths," this esteemed member of the press seeks to have Kerry placed in the same company as history's great minds... and then inexplicably includes a man who once dated J-Lo on the list.

But hey, Kerry's got it all over Franklin and P-Diddy. Neither of them served in Vietnam (we're not so sure about da Vinci; records from that era are spotty at best). Maybe after running for President, Kerry will go fly a kite. Or date J-Lo -- she should be available by then.