The John Kerry Post of the Day

My latest discovery about my favorite cheese-eating surrendermonkey-looking Ketchup King cum Presidential candidate:

There's been some speculation as to whether the Ketchup King had engaged in a little too much fun with the bottle before arriving at his campaign stop at midnight last Thursday. Personally, I'm guessing he was just tired. But Jim Geraghty of the Kerry Spot noted this bizarre story he told...

Otherwise, [Kerry] told stories like this while stone-cold sober:

“And I'll tell you another. Two nights ago — a few nights ago, I was in Philadelphia. And I got introduced to this tussle-haired little kid. The guy came — he came up to about here on me. Tiny little kid. But he showed me this picture. And it was a picture of him sitting out in the street where he was during the summer, with a sign and a table. At the table, he had some bracelets. And the sign said 'Kerry for President.'

"And this little six-year-old kid had gotten his nine-year-old brother to make the bracelets for him, and he was selling the bracelets.

"And this six-year-old kid came up to me with a Tupperware container, handed it to me with $680 to change America — to change America."

(APPLAUSE)

KERRY: "So, for all of you here tonight, we've got about 60 days in the most important election of a lifetime where everything that you care about is on the line: your job, your health care, education, the capacity of our kids to be able to afford to go to college…"

Okay, perhaps Kerry - the man married to one of the world’s richest women, whose net worth is one of the tops in the Senate - didn’t take the $680 from a six year old. But it would be nice if he had mentioned that he didn’t take the money.

Hey, maybe he needs another snowboard. Those things aren't cheap. But I'm wondering if Kerry told the kid he needed to pay taxes on those profits.

Even as Kerry's campaign staff is being re-organized for the 17th time, we're still trying to figure out why they let their candidate, drunk or sober, pop up for that rally Thursday night. It was a cheap stunt that reeked of desperation. Bob Novak nailed it perfectly...

Kerry's strategists seemed uncertain whether he should follow custom and stay out of sight during the other party's national convention, but finally decided he could not. After windsurfing at Nantucket, Kerry addressed the American Legion convention in what had been billed as an attack on his Swift boat veteran detractors. Instead, he delivered a quiet critique of Iraq war policy, which was unenthusiastically received by the Legion. That was followed by Thursday night's speech in which Kerry attacked his opponents "who refused to serve" in Vietnam -- that is, Bush and Cheney.

A midnight rally in Springfield, Ohio, is nothing like an acceptance speech at Madison Square Garden, but the unfair comparison was not flattering to Kerry. Bush delivered a conservative speech to a conservative party but also as a war president. After shocking his supporters earlier by saying he would still vote for Bush's war resolution, Kerry in Ohio Thursday night declared the president "misled America into Iraq." The Democratic nominee continues to define himself.

The new staff has a lot of work to do. This Kerry campaign press release accuses a number of speakers at the RNC of lying (including Kerry's good friend John McCain). What's funny is the fact that it either simply re-states what the main point each speaker was trying to make, or provides only a blanket statement that it was a lie. Take a look:

America Safer Under Bush.

20. Bernard Kerik: “Today, we live in a much safer world as a result of this President's strong leadership.”

21. Marc Racicot: Under President Bush, we have a safer, more hopeful America.

Bush Has Continually Supported Our Troops

22. Bernard Kerik: “It takes continued support for our troops and first responders, not votes against our military, our intelligence and law enforcement spending.”

Education Has Improved Under Bush.

23. Racicot: “Schools are focused on success, and children are learning.”

24. Hastert: And we are proud of what the Republican Congress and the president have achieved together …revolutionary education reform, which demands more accountability from schools and better results for our children;

Bush Leading the Global Fight Against Disease & Hunger.

25. Marc Racicot: We are leading the world in the fight to eradicate disease and hunger.

John Kerry “On the Wrong Side” on Taxes.

26. Dennis Hastert: He's on the wrong side of taxation.

...Republican Convention Will Present a Positive Agenda.

34. Ed Gillespie: We will present a positive agenda for our future that will expand our Republican majority in the Senate, expand our Republican majority in the House, and expand our majority of Republican governorships.

John Kerry Has No Clear, Consistent Vision of Terrorism.

35. Rudy Guliani: President Bush sees world terrorism for the evil that it is. John Kerry has no such clear, precise and consistent vision.

Bush’s Refusal to Change His Mind Even When Facts Prove Him Wrong is Indicative of Leadership.

36. Rudy Guliani: President Bush, a leader who is willing to stick with difficult decisions even as public opinion shifts.

John Kerry Changes His Position Often on Key Issues.

37. Rudy Guliani: John Kerry, whose record in elected office suggests a man who changes his position often even on important issues.

John Kerry Voted Against Funding Troops.

38. Rudy Guliani: And then just 9 months later, he voted against an $87 billion supplemental budget to fund the war and support our troops.

...Bush Lies About Cost of Kerry’s Programs.

141. Bush: “To be fair, there are some things my opponent is for he's proposed more than two trillion dollars in new federal spending so far, and that's a lot, even for a senator from Massachusetts. To pay for that spending, he is running on a platform of increasing taxes and that's the kind of promise a politician usually keeps.”

Bush Lies About Kerry Vote Funding Troops

142. Bush: “Again, my opponent and I have different approaches. I proposed, and the Congress overwhelmingly passed, 87 billion dollars in funding needed by our troops doing battle in Afghanistan and Iraq. My opponent and his running mate voted against this money for bullets, and fuel, and vehicles, and body armor. When asked to explain his vote, the Senator said, "I actually did vote for the 87 billion dollars before I voted against it." Then he said he was "proud" of that vote. Then, when pressed, he said it was a "complicated" matter. There is nothing complicated about supporting our troops in combat.”

Bush Lies About Kerry’s View of Coalition.

143. Bush: “In the midst of war, he has called America's allies, quote, a "coalition of the coerced and the bribed." That would be nations like Great Britain, Poland, Italy, Japan, the Netherlands, Denmark, El Salvador, Australia, and others allies that deserve the respect of all Americans, not the scorn of a politician. I respect every soldier, from every country, who serves beside us in the hard work of history. America is grateful, and America will not forget.”

Somewhere out there, Howard Dean is screaming about how he could have pulled a better campaign out of his... well, you know. (Hat tip: Ed Morrissey at CaptainsQuarters).