If Only He'd Been 50 Feet Off the Ground

Try not to get better soon, dirtbag...

President Fidel Castro tripped and fell after leaving the stage at a graduation ceremony, but later returned to say that he was "all in one piece."

Castro's off-camera tumble after the Wednesday night speech in the central city of Santa Clara was certain to launch a new round of speculation about the 78-year-old communist leader's health after 45 years of rule.

There was no official word from the government on Castro's condition after he left Santa Clara, about a three-hour drive east of Havana, in his regular black Mercedes Benz.

Speaking live on state television less than a minute after his fall, Castro told television viewers across the island of 11.2 million people that he thought he had broken his knee "and maybe an arm ... but I am all in one piece."

"I will do what is possible to recover as fast as possible, but as you can see I can still talk," he said, sweating profusely into his olive green uniform as he sat in a folding chair. "Even if they put me in a cast, I can continue in my work."

Does that work include torturing and killing more people?