It's Funny and Scary At the Same Time

This would be even funnier if it weren't so close to being true...

Although Iran’s nuclear weapons engineers could take years to deploy a working missile, experts agree they could do so, “even if they weren’t really trying”, before the United Nations could deploy an enforceable resolution to halt Iran’s nuclear ambitions.

“The U.N. is still in the early stages of developing effective diplomatic measures,” said an unnamed U.N. spokesman, “We have the rudiments of the technology. We gather. We enjoy fine food and wine. We talk. We write. We dress well. But it will take a long time to agree upon a Security Council resolution condemning Iran. And only then does the 12-year enforcement clock start ticking.”

According to the most recent estimates, by the time the U.N. decides to enforce any resolution, the Iranian Council of Guardians — composed of Muslim clerics and legal scholars — will have a panel of glowing red buttons before them labeled Jerusalem, Paris, London, Berlin, Washington D.C., Moscow, Beijing and U.N. HQ.

Man, where's Team America when we need them?