Winning the Culture War

In a freaking brilliant reaction to the Muslims who choose to riot and burn embassies, Vodkapundit decides that if we're in a culture war, we need to start acting like it. That means more than just a few annoying cartoons...

They want a culture war? Fine. Let's give them one.

Forget the "Revolution in Military Affairs," and "4GW," and "AirLand Battle" and all those other Pentagon catchphrases. We're good at that stuff, sure. All those fancy doctrines and expensive weapons have helped us win some fine, conventional wars. But we're even better at waging culture wars.

That's because we've got more practice. If you have some free time some weekday afternoon, take a look at what goes on outside a Planned Parenthood clinic when Operation Rescue is there. Hollywood hangs left, talk radio tilts right, and each is expert at making the other look bad. Remember the civil rights movement? Remember the Republican Revolution (even if the Republicans don't)? Left and right, Americans know how to wage a culture war.

It seems we're in one. And as in any war, we can't afford to remain passive. Sun Tzu wrote that when your enemy is angry, annoy him. Is there any doubt the Arab Street is at long last really angry? Then it's time for us to wage an Offensive Offensive. If they're angry, let's really piss them off. Let's show the Arab Street that in a war between our attitude and theirs, we're the Fonz and they're Ralph.

"Piss Christ?" That's nothing – we can crap Mohammed if we want to. With a little CGI help, our porn industry could churn out some man-on-man action in Mecca. Turn the writing staff of "Will & Grace" loose on the Hamas homophobes. Maybe Broadway could give them "The Clitorectomy Monologues."

Most readers here will think I'm dreaming – the International Left would never join in Bushitler's illegal war. Maybe you're correct. Maybe they're too deep into identity politics to ever come around. Me, I'm not so certain. Hollywood has always been far to the left of American culture and politics, even when FDR was president, and yet they usually (eventually) came around. For every three or four Easy Riders, Hollywood gave us at least one Rambo. Sure, that's still a lot more left-wing movies than right – but it only takes one Sylvester Stallone to kick the tar out of five Peter Fondas.

I'm wondering if Hollywood has the nutsack to help their own country, but perhaps Hollywood isn't as monolithic as we all think. Parker and Stone will hopefully have spawned a whole new generation of anti-PC filmmakers with the guts to fight dirty. And the other side will be wondering why they chose to whine about a few cartoons. Or finally developing a sense of humor... all while eating Big Macs, listening to Ipods and wearing Steelers ballcaps.

In other words, in a culture war, the rest of the world gets to see what it feels like to take an ass-kicking. It's just a matter of time.