A Little Humor

Back from Christmas break, but needed to acknowledge some damn good parody from the always brilliant IowaHawk. I was laughing throughout this mockup of healthcare, which may remind you of a Christmas classic:

Scene 14: Christmas Eve, inside Bedford Falls Town Hall. Senator George Bailey confronts an angry mob of constituents protesting his vote on the new health care bill.

MAN #1
Come on Bailey, you can't hide forever! Let us in!

WOMAN #1
Yeah, what is this mandatory insurance nonsense? Stop cowering behind that podium George! We want answers!

crowd erupts into shouting

GEORGE BAILEY
Now now now, everybody calm down, see? If you'll, well, see, just let me explain...

MAN #2
You should've explained these death panels before we elected you! Let's get 'em!

WOMAN #2 (shaking pitchfork)
Yeah!

MAN #3
Hey, pipe down youse mugs, let the man talk. It'll be 15 minutes before the tar is hot enough to pour. Out with it Bailey!

GEORGE BAILEY
Well well, thank you for that Pete. Now folks, see, you just gotta understand how Washington works. Remember how you, you sent me there to bring back free things to Bedford Falls, like free heath care and jobs and that new George S. Bailey retractable midnight basketball court for the high school gym?

MAN #4
Hey Bailey, do know how many kids drowned at the prom last year from that stupid thing?

GEORGE BAILEY
Well, now now now, Clem, sure a few kids drowned. But look at all the jobs it created down at the Potter Retractable Basketball Floor factory. And that's my point. Now, see, down in Washington there's a whole Senate full of regular guys like you and you, and me, and we represent thousands of places just like Bedford Falls. And all of those places want their own jobs and healthcare and retractable basketball courts. And it turns out all of this costs money, so we have to get, well, revenues...

WOMAN #3
You mean taxes?

GEORGE BAILEY
Well, yeah, Helen, if that's how you want to put it. See, we put all those revenues in a, a, a, big pile there in Washington, and then we start making deals and such, to make sure we can all bring some home. Sometimes we run out, and have to make up for it with other fees...

MAN #2
You mean taxes? Why don't you get it from Old Man Potter?

WOMAN #2
Yeah! Get it from Potter!

GEORGE BAILEY
Now, now, I hate old man Potter just as much as the rest of you. Maybe more. He lives in that cold old mansion up there on Beacon Hill, while you're getting laid off and trying to make ends meet. It just isn't right, and that's why I organized the big ACORN march against him last year. But I'm telling you, even if we confiscated every penny he has, we couldn't pay for your free universal health care. That's why we have to charge you for some of it, and make sure you don't use too much. But don't worry, I sent my top trade representative Uncle Billy over to China to get a payday loan for the rest.

WOMAN #5
But won't we have to pay them back?

GEORGE BAILEY
Well, Marge, yeah, technically, but only until you're all dead. After that it'll just be your kids.

Read the whole thing. I can't wait for the New Year and all our health care goodies, can you?