They're Not Depends, That's For Sure

Scott Ott knows funny...

In the wake of the attempted Christmas Day bombing of Northwest Airlines flight 253, President Obama, in a news conference from the Pacific White House in Hawaii, on Monday cautioned Americans to avoid "lashing out against folks in puffy underpants."

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, 23, the son of a wealthy Nigerian banker, faces charges of attempting to destroy an airliner by detonating a high explosive sewn into what the FBI described as "boxers or briefs ... but clearly not adult incontinence undergarments."

"Our future as a nation depends on how we react to this incident," the president said. "If we start profiling people based on the mere appearance of their slacks, a lot of incontinent adults as well as infants and toddlers will be swept up in the discriminatory backlash. Civil rights and social justice must take precedence over our parochial concerns about fire, explosions, crashes and the potential of physical harm resulting from such events."

...Meanwhile, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano announced new security measures for airports, including a requirement that passengers "dispense with belts, allowing their trousers to sag in a manner that would reveal any potential undergarment threat."

What's scary is that the security measures in this article might be as effective as the ones TSA is now implementing.