What Annoying Song is Stuck in My Head Today?

If I need to suffer with a song stuck in my head, why shouldn't you have to do the same? Sometimes they're good, most times they're bad... but no matter what, they make you suffer. So I like to share the suffering whenever it happens.

Another mistake this morning. While stuck in commercials across the board on talk and sports radio, yours truly decided to flip over to the '80's station on XM Satellite Radio. And of course, I ran across a song that I hadn't heard in years. Hell, the last time I saw the artist in question, he was playing Jim Carrey's pal on the police force in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (appreciated by yours truly because it actually features my beloved Eagles playing the Dolphins in the Super Bowl).

Yup. It's Tone Loc.

Actually, this isn't completely accurate, since I have apparently seen Tone in Heat and just missed him. How could I have done that -- it's not like there were any other important actors in the movie. Maybe that Pacino guy... and that De Niro fellow. Not to mention Val Kilmer, Jon Voight, Ashley Judd, Natalie Portman and Tom Sizemore. Man, I can't believe I missed Tone Loc in the credits.

Tone's acting career aside, he will always be remembered for two songs. The first was Wild Thing. The second was Funky Cold Medina, which may be one of the greatest song titles ever. The two songs sound alike (in fact, I'm betting all of his songs sound alike), but it was Funky Cold Medina that got stuck in our head this morning. So without further ado...

Cold coolin at a bar, and I'm lookin for some action
But like Mike Jagger said, I can't get no satisfaction
The girls are all around, but none of them wanna get with me
My threads are fresh and I'm lookin def, yo, what's up with L-o-c?

The girls is all jockin at the other end of the bar
Havin drinks with some no-name chump, when they know that I'm the star
So I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina
I asked the guy, Why you so fly? he said,

Funky Cold Medina
Funky Cold Medina

This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks
Put a little Medina in your glass, and the girls'll come real quick
It's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac
A couple of sips of this love potion, and she'll be on your lap

So I gave some to my dog when he began to beg
Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me and did the wild thing on my leg
He used to scratch and bite me, before he was much much meaner
But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold Medina

You know what I'm sayin?
I got every dog in my neighborhood breakin down my door
I got Spuds McKenzie
Alex from Stroh's
They won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal

I went up to this girl, she said, Hi, my name is Sheena
I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina
She said, I'd like a drink, I said, Ehm - ok, I'll go get it
Then a couple sips she cold licked her lips, and I knew that she was with it.

So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned
But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man
So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener
You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina.

You know, ain't no plans with a man
This is the 80's, and I'm down with the ladies
Ya know?

Break it down

You're welcome.