The Latest Liberal Complaint About Judge Roberts

The latest attack on Judge John Roberts concentrated on the "coordinated" image projected by his children during last week's announcement on TV. Apparently, Robin Givhan of the Washington Post's Style section thought the outfits were a tad too planned...

Dressing appropriately is a somewhat selfless act. It's not about catering to personal comfort. One can't give in fully to private aesthetic preferences. Instead, one asks what would make other people feel respected? What would mark the occasion as noteworthy? What signifies that the moment is bigger than the individual?

But the Roberts family went too far. In announcing John Roberts as his Supreme Court nominee, the president inextricably linked the individual -- and his family -- to the sweep of tradition. In their attire, there was nothing too informal; there was nothing immodest. There was only the feeling that, in the desire to be appropriate and respectful of history, the children had been costumed in it.

This critique leads us to a hysterical and brilliant response from the always sublime Lileks...

Why, it’s almost as if the Roberts thought they were better than the rest of us. I’ll tell you this: when it comes to dressing the kids, it’s quite possible they look at parents who get on airplanes in flip-flops with 12-year old daughters who have the word JUICY spelled out on their behinds, and they actually do think they’re better than those parents. Because they put some stock in appearance, in public decorum. When required. Like showing up at the White House. To be nominated for the Supreme Court. That's the sort of event that makes a man spend fifteen minutes choosing his socks, even though they'll never been seen, and even though they're black.

If little Jack Roberts Jr. had been bopping around in an Spongebob T-shirt, he would have been the darling of the press. “In a White House Obsessed With Appearances, a Note of Abandon.” And you suspect that Washington commentators would have noted how Spongebob’s sexual ambiguity stands in ironic contrast to the administration’s support of a controversial amendment, and how various state cases on gay marriage may confront the Supreme Court in years to come, etcetera, etcetera.

You can’t blame the Roberts family for wishing to dress up nicely. But the Roberts went too far. Do you understand? They went too far. If that child’s nice old-money anti-hoi-polloi skirt didn’t sound your klaxons, you’re just not paying attention. People who dress like Mormons are creepy. Creepy as real Mormons. Women who do not feel a surge of resentment when they put on hosiery are traitors to the gender; men who carefully knot their ties are repressing something, probably sexual; parents who put their kids in nice dress-up clothes that are 21% more formal than a newspaper reporter would have worn on Friday are rejecting modernity and the lower four quintiles. You. Have. Been. Warned.

Forget Roberts -- let's put Lileks on the high court.