One More Excuse To Send the Iranian Government a Case of Beer

The Artist Formerly Known as Sprout was the leader amongst those sending me this outrageous tale...

A quarter-century after they were taken captive in Iran, five former American hostages say they got an unexpected reminder of their 444-day ordeal in the bearded face of Iran's new president-elect.

Watching coverage of Iran's presidential election on television dredged up 25-year-old memories that prompted four of the former hostages to exchange e-mails.

And those four realized they shared the same conclusion -- the firm belief that President-elect Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had been one of their Iranian captors.

"This is the guy. There's no question about it," said former hostage Chuck Scott, a retired Army colonel who lives in Jonesboro, Georgia.

"You could make him a blond and shave his whiskers, put him in a zoot suit and I'd still spot him."

Scott and former hostages David Roeder, William J. Daugherty and Don A. Sharer told The Associated Press on Wednesday they have no doubt Ahmadinejad, 49, was one of the hostage-takers.

A fifth ex-hostage, Kevin Hermening, said he reached the same conclusion after looking at photos.

Not everyone agrees. Former hostage and retired Air Force Col. Thomas E. Schaefer said he doesn't recognize Ahmadinejad, by face or name, as one of his captors.

Several former students among the hostage-takers also said Ahmadinejad did not participate. And a close aide to Ahmadinejad denied the president-elect took part in the seizure of the embassy or in holding Americans hostage.

I'm not sure what aggravates me more. First, the fact that if this claim is true, then the CIA didn't anticipate this being a problem... or maybe they didn't even know it.

Second, that any of the hostage-takers are still alive, not imprisoned and available for comment. Can't we take a lesson from Isreal's hunting trip for the jerkweed Black September guys from 1972? I'm not expecting miracles here, but why aren't these guys on international most wanted posters?

Third, I'm glad to know CNN took the time to get a denial from hostage-taking terrorists supporting a tool of oppressive fundamentalist zealots from a dictatorial theocracy. I saw that one of these guys is now a leader of the reform movement, so maybe this isn't so bad. But still, I'm thinking the close aide to the new "President" is a less-than-credible source.

Like I said, let's airdrop some beer. And some pornography -- it's about time we let Larry Flynt prove his patriotism.