Not So Real Sports

Sorry for the lack of blogging. I've been busy. No, I haven't been watching the Winter Olympics. Much like Bryant Gumbel, as per this hilarious article noted by loyal reader RB...

There were some eye-opening remarks from Bryant Gumbel on the most recent episode of HBO's Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel. According to a transcript posted by a television columnist named Seth Frelich, Gumbel said the following in his closing monologue last week (emphasis mine):

"Finally, tonight, the Winter Games. Count me among those who don’t like them and won’t watch them ... Because they’re so trying, maybe over the next three weeks we should all try too. Like, try not to be incredulous when someone attempts to link these games to those of the ancient Greeks who never heard of skating or skiing. So try not to laugh when someone says these are the world’s greatest athletes, despite a paucity of blacks that makes the Winter Games look like a GOP convention. Try not to point out that something’s not really a sport if a pseudo-athlete waits in what’s called a kiss-and-cry area, while some panel of subjective judges decides who won ... So if only to hasten the arrival of the day they’re done, when we can move on to March Madness — for God’s sake, let the games begin."

Strangely, I agree with Gumbel on one thing. Figure skating is a pseudo-sport, although the people who participate are genuine athletes. I don't want to demean what they do, but I don't think it's a sport when this much subjectivity exists with regard to the scoring. The same's true for gymnastics -- they're clearly athletes, but I can't accept as a sport something where the judges can vary how many points you get for something based on the style with which you did it. If the NFL had something comparable, we'd be judging TD celebrations and length of scoring play to determine the number of points we should give a team for each score. If we want to make it a sport, have the skaters compete to complete a set number of jumps and moves as quickly as possible, fastest time wins. And have them do it all at the same time, with the right to knock down competitiors... now there's a sport I would watch.

With that being said, Gumbel's an idiot. He's smarmy, rude and condescending as hell, and the condescending attitude is made worse by the fact that he's not as smart as the people he's treating rudely. Watching him speak with his reporters on Real Sports, he's usually got his head down taking notes, rather than looking them in the eye.

That's without getting to the substance of Gumbel's point, not that he has any. I don't think the ancient Greeks played basketball or volleyball either, and I don't see Gumbel muttering asides about the Summer Games. As for the lack of African-American competitors, that doesn't serve to disprove that these are the world's greatest curlers or anything else. For all I know, I could have become the greatest short-track speedskater of all time. I didn't, partly out of choice, partly out of lack of opportunity... but that doesn't mean the Olympics aren't the highest level of competition.