The Simpsons Quote of the Week

An old favorite.... and now weekly feature...

Seymour Skinner, the elementary school's beloved principal, is revealed to be an imposter. The real Seymour Skinner returns to Springfield after being MIA for 25 years, and reveals that the imposter is a man named Armin Tanzarian. This leads to the inevitable question of where the real Skinner was for 25 years, which is what everyone wants to know...

Superintendent Chalmers: "Now let's clear this up. Who exactly are you?"

Skinner: "Sergeant Seymour Skinner, U.S. Army." (salutes)

Tanzarian: "It's true. I was in his platoon in Vietnam." (turns to the real Skinner) "They said you were killed on that scouting mission."

Skinner: "No, just captured. It's kind of a funny story, really. After five years in a secret P.O.W. camp, I was sold to China for slave labor. And since 1977 I've been making sneakers at gunpoint in a sweatshop in Boo-Haun." (pause)

Marge: "That's not a funny story."

Skinner: "Well, I guess you had to be there."