Tuesday, March 06, 2007

My Thoughts on the Libby Verdict

I have not followed the Libby trial in the least, relying on Tom Maguire for his coverage over at Just One Minute. To be honest, "following" might be too strong a description -- taking a peek every now and then might be a better description.

Now that the jury verdict is in (O.J. was found not gui... oops, Libby was guilty on four of five counts, which means the jury is batting .800), I can only think of the following Simpsons episode, where Freddy Quimby is on trial for assaulting a waiter....

Homer also contributed the following gems during deliberations...
Homer: "What does 'sequestered' mean?"
Skinner: "If the jury is deadlocked they're put up in a hotel together so they can't communicate with the outside world."
Homer: "What does 'deadlocked' mean?"
Skinner: "It's when the jury can't agree on a verdict."
Homer: "Uh huh. And 'if'?"
Skinner: "A conjunction meaning 'in the event that' or 'on condition that'."
Homer: "So if we don't all vote the same way, we'll be deadlocked and have to be sequestered in the Springfield Palace Hotel--"
Patty: "That's not going to happen, Homer."
Jasper: "Let's vote. My liver is failing."
Homer: "-- where we'll get a free room, free food, free swimming pool, free HBO -- Ooh! Free Willy!"
Skinner: "Justice is not a frivolous thing, Simpson. It has little if anything to do with a disobedient whale. Now let's vote!"
Homer: "Uh, how are the rest of you voting?"
Everyone: "Guilty."
Homer: "OK, fine. How many S's in "innocent"?"
Everyone: "Aw..."
Homer: "I'm only doing what I think is right. I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel."
I'm sure this jury used much of the same logic.


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