Thursday, May 03, 2007

As I Turn 29 For the Fifth Time...

Yes, I'm turning another year older. And as the Lord of Truth helpfully pointed out this morning, I'm now at an age where it would be appropriate for Rolling Rock to be my beer for this upcoming year (strangely, I think that was actually the case in 1993-94 during my sophomore year in college... of course, I couldn't drink back then since I wasn't 21, so that must be wrong). The other great realization I had is that I've now been allowed to drive a car for more years than I was not allowed to do so. As my wife might note, that doesn't mean I know how to drive, just that I'm allowed to do so. With that being said, thanks to all who have acknowledged this day (even when you feel like lying about your age, it's a great feeling when someone wishes you a happy birthday), along with those who either forgot or chose to be sensitive and not raise the topic.

As for famous people born today... most people would be impressed with the fact that they share a birthday with Niccolo Machiavelli. My friends would not be surprised that I do like sharing a birthday with Niccolo (or Nick, as I call him), although I'm stunned that Machiavelli is still more famous than I am. It should also be noted that I'm equally happy to note that I share the birthday with Ann B. Davis and Ron Hextall. As for my fellow birthday celebrants not being named in this post... "Coranon Silaria, Ozoo Mahoke" (a grand total of 10 people will get that joke).

But for argument's sake, let's just say that it's MY birthday (even fewer will get that joke). And since it's my birthday, I was asked what I wanted for my birthday by several people. I came up with 33 items, in no particular order. For the record, these are the first 33 items I thought of while writing this post, so don't kill me if I forgot something important, like the solution to global warming or the Saved By the Bell reunion special where we meet Zach and Kelly's kids.

In honor of Rolling Rock, here we go...

1. A healthy first child come August. I will leave speculation regarding the gender of my child to the family and friends, including Luca Brasi. If the kid wants to come out quoting Shakespeare and fully potty-trained, that's fine, but not a pre-requisite.
2. A Cereality store to open in D.C. Kudos to my sister-in-law for introducing this to me in Chicago earlier this year. Any place that lets me mix Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Frosted Flakes and Fruity Pebbles should be franchised in more places.
3. The safe and triumphant return of our troops from Iraq and Afghanistan, after they get everything they need, including our support, to achieve victory.
4. For my two infant nieces and their soon-to-be-born cousin to enjoy their first of many years on this planet, and to wait to surpass their uncle/father's juvenile sense of humor for at least 24 months.
5. More Will Ferrell movies.
6. No more Richard Tiffany Gere movies (yes, the man's middle name is Tiffany... and people wonder why I hate him).
7. A Philadelphia Eagles Super Bowl XLII triumph in Arizona in February 2008. I'm surprised it took me that long to think of that. Actually, give me an Eagles Super Bowl XLIII triumph in February 2009 if it's possible, too.
8. To finally finish my first screenplay.
9. The death of Osama bin Laden. Hey, I'm allowed to be morbid once. Actually, that's not morbid, just a matter of harsh and necessary justice.
10. Less traffic on the way to work.
11. The cancellation of all reality television shows. Either that, or a reality TV show where I, along with a group of select friends, get to torment and abuse reality TV show contestants of my choosing. Trust me when I say this would be a bad moment for Sanjaya Malakar.
12. A four day work week.
13. The expansion of In-n-Out Burger to the East Coast, preferably the DC area.
14. The Phillies to make the playoffs. I'd ask for a World Series title but I know better.
15. That Saved By the Bell reunion show. Now that I think about it, that's too important to leave off the list.
16. I'd like to lose 25 pounds. Maybe I'll watch those Democratic Presidential debates, since they tend to make me nauseous and kill my appetite.
17. The winning Power Ball ticket, preferably during a week where the jackpot features 9 numbers to the left of the decimal.
18. The opportunity to see my wife every day. Yes, you can say it all together... awww.
19. More TV shows like House, Lost, Entourage, and South Park. I won't say The Simpsons, because there can be only one.
20. A happy graduation day for my little brother next month as he exits college and enters the real world. One day, you'll be 33, too... and yes, I'll be 44 at that point, but let's not discuss that.
21. A new house sometime this year. It needs to meet all of my wife's demands and my one -- enough room for a play room for me that features multiple large screen TVs, arcade games, a pool table, wireless Internet on a large monitor and a bar with beer on tap. Preferably Guiness, but beggars can't be choosers.
22. A Constitutional Amendment to term limit our Congressfolk.
23. A clean bill of health in my next physical, one that allows the continued consumption of cheesesteaks at Pat's when I visit Philly.
24. I'd like to keep as much hair on my head as possible for as long as possible. Scarily, this might be the least likely wish on this list, and that's saying something.
25. My dad to re-retire soon, if he wishes, or at least to relax, and for he and my mom to take more of the trips they seem to enjoy. If he wants a new job, baby-sitting grandkids seems to be a popular one. In that vein, here's hoping my sister and brother-in-law's return to Philly goes well, too.
26. For Baskin Robbins to expand past 31 flavors and at least have more flavors than I have years on this planet. I hate being this old.
27. Fred Thompson, Presidential candidate. If for no other reason than the opportuunity to quote movie lines like, "Russians don't take a dump, son, without a plan."
28. World peace. Hey, I don't want to seem selfish.
29. Social Security privitization and the extension of the Bush tax cuts. That will offset the world peace non-selfish thing nicely in some people's eyes.
30. More time with friends and family, and for them to experience more and more happiness throughout the year, and to know how much they all mean to me. I'm going to stop before one of them reading this throws up on the keyboard.
31. A new Supreme Court justice replacing Stevens and/or Ginsburg, and preferably one who thinks and writes like Nino Scalia.
32. I'd like to return from any trips to Las Vegas up in terms of my gambling results. It doesn't have to be up a lot, just up.
33. To be around to write a post with 34 wishes next year. Hopefully God is good enough to allow that.

I plan to have a great day and even better weekend, although probably not as good as this guy. Hope all of you feel as good on your birthday as I do on mine.


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