Random Movie Quote of the Day

Like all American males, I love being able to quote ad nauseum from popular movies. I figured I should share whenever a random quote pops into my head.

Chris Farley's career ended far too soon. We were discussing something at lunch today, and it reminded me of Farley's fantastic performance in Tommy Boy, which stands out as an underrated 1990's comedy classic. Here's one of my favorite quotes...

Tommy: Let's think about this for a sec, Ted, why would somebody put a guarantee on a box? Hmmm, very interesting.

Ted Nelson: Go on, I'm listening.

Tommy: Here's the way I see it, Ted. Guy puts a fancy guarantee on a box 'cause he wants you to fell all warm and toasty inside.

Ted Nelson: Yeah, makes a man feel good.

Tommy: 'Course it does. Why shouldn't it? Ya figure you put that little box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter, am I right, Ted?

Ted: What's your point?

Tommy: The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Build model airplanes" says the little fairy; well, we're not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser, and your daughter's knocked up. I seen it a hundred times.

Ted: But why do they put a guarantee on the box?

Tommy: Because they know all they sold ya was a guaranteed piece of shit. That's all it is, isn't it? Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time. But for now, for your customer's sake, for your daughter's sake, you might want to think about buying a quality product from me.

This has been your random Movie Quote of the Day.