The John Kerry Post of the Day

My latest discovery about my favorite cheese-eating surrendermonkey-looking Ketchup King cum Presidential candidate:

I don't know whether to laugh or cry after reading this...

Sen. John Kerry on Monday lambasted as "pathetic" scaremongering, Republican criticism of his comments during last Thursday's debate in which he said the president's decision to go to war should pass a "global test" of legitimacy.

Asked during a town hall meeting in Hampton to explain what he meant, the Massachusetts senator said, "It's almost sad; it's certainly pathetic, because all they can do is grab a little phrase and try to play a game and scare Americans."

He added, "They're misleading Americans about what I said. What I said in the sentence preceding that was, 'I will never cede America's security to any institution or any other country.' No one gets a veto over our security. No one.

"And if they were honest enough to give America the full quote, which America heard, they would know that I'm never going to allow America's security to be outsourced. That's the job of the president.

"But I can do a better job of protecting America's security because the test that I was talking about was a test of legitimacy, not just in the globe, but elsewhere.

"If you do things that are illegitimate in the eyes of the other people, it's very hard to get them to share the burden and risk with you."

Kerry said he intends to be a president who understands "that America is stronger when we are leading global alliances and when we are leading the world, and that's how we are going to do it. And that's what I meant."

Here is what Kerry said during the debate:

"No president, through all of American history, has ever ceded -- and nor would I -- the right to preempt in any way necessary, to protect the United States of America," the Democrat told moderator Jim Lehrer during the debate.

"But if and when you do it, Jim, you've got to do it in a way that passes the, the test, that passes the global test where your countrymen, your people, understand fully why you're doing what you're doing, and you can prove to the world that you did it for legitimate reasons."

Where do I start?

First of all, READ THE FREAKING TRANSCRIPT, Senator. It says, quite simply, that I won't cede the right to pre-emption --- BUT --- I won't do it unless it passes a "global test." This is a classic slip by a politician who's so in love with the sound of his voice that he forgets what he's saying. He wants to have it both ways -- cater to those of us who'd prefer that we step up aggressively and take care of threats before they attack us, as well as those who want to make sure we would have the full support of non-coerced and non-bribed countries (also known as the bastions of integrity, France and Germany) before we take any such military action. As a reader at Best of the Web pointed out, he'd like us to think he means it the other way around -- that we want the support of other nations, BUT we'll pre-empt whenever we deem it necessary. He didn't say it that way, and based on his track record, we're certain that he meant EXACTLY what he said.

Second, it's not scaremongering to point out the fact that Kerry can't and won't take decisive pre-emptive action. Scaremongering is what Kerry's been using with seniors when criticizing Bush's Social Security plan. Bush's campaign has pointed out what Kerry said about the "global test" during the debate, period, and their interpretation of the meaning of it is a reasonable one (in addition to being the meaning most people attached to it). It's not pathetic, although the response by Kerry is. Kerry's first line of attack for everything detrimental to him is to whine. Maybe he really is French.

Third, let's focus on the unintended hilarity of Kerry's explanation:

"But I can do a better job of protecting America's security because the test that I was talking about was a test of legitimacy, not just in the globe, but elsewhere."

Seriously, what planet is he on? Because now he wants to convince people who are in places other than those "in the globe." Maybe he thinks that the astronauts need to be convinced. Or perhaps he's been in contact with alien leaders... wait, maybe they're the foreign leaders who want Kerry to win!

Maybe after the election is over, we can send Kerry to the moon. He might find some people who actually like him there.