A Blog Coup When Two Become One

Greetings faithful readers! Do not adjust your monitors - this is the Lord of Truth coming to you live from Raje's Rants. As you have no doubt been following, the esteemed creator of this blog was just happily married on Saturday, July 30. The newlyweds have made their way to one of the more remote sections of the Earth and Raj, in his post-wedding bliss, decided to hand the proverbial author's pen to moi. Parents with small children may want to escort them from the room.

I'll leave it to Raj to give you the full details of the wedding when he returns, but allow me to hit on a few high points, in what should be the penultimate Wedding Update:

1. To me, the best part of any wedding is seeing the look on the groom's face when he glimpses his bride coming down the aisle. Trust me when I say that Raj did not disappoint. There's really no way of describing that feeling to anyone else, huh Raj?

2. The dual ceremonies were both very impressive and inspiring. Once again it illustrated to me the many common themes that run throughout various religions, especially when it comes to major life events. Also, it gave me the opportunity to practice my Sanskrit, which as you all know, has gotten a little rusty.

3. There were no major calamities, although I had to work diligently to keep several people out of the koi pond as the night progressed. There were, however, several minor calamities, including a stirring rendition of "Pour Some Sugar on Me" by the Mayor of Wayne, AKA The King of Parliament Lights. Luckily for all, this was captured on professional video and the newlyweds can enjoy it over and over on their anniversary each year.

4. A shout-out to all of my new friends at Johnson's Tavern in Annville, PA. I've never walked into a place and had the jukebox record skip before, but now I know what it's like. And to the young lady that noticed my brand new fancy pool cue case and reminded me that there was no pool table in the bar, this 75-cent Yuengling Lager is for you.

5. Raj played golf. In a related story, Hades suffered its first blizzard. Now this.

6. Two words: Philly Boom. There really is no force in nature like him. Phi Alpha, bro.

7. Hershey, PA really does smell like chocolate. Minor, but yet still fascinating to me.

8. I was surrounded by the most redheads I've ever seen in one place in my life at this wedding, which suddenly made me feel tan for once in my life. But seriously, I was waiting for the universe to explode with all of that fiery energy concentrated in once place. Perhaps my setting my "Bourbon shields" to maximum saved me. Thank you, Mark of the Maker.

9. Why does greasy food taste so good the morning after a party? Come on, Science, you got some 'splainin' to do. How do you absorb my headache, giant sweet Italian sausage?

10. Finally, Raj and Alli, a thousand congratulations. But I still hate you for sitting on some lagoon beach right now while the rest of us waste time at work blogging. May your most recently served frozen drink give you a cold headache, you lucky ducks. Hope you're having a blast.