Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Time Gives Me An Excuse to Do A Simpsons Quote

Okay, this might be required posting for yours truly, courtesy of Time Magazine...
Most big cities in the world face the same kinds of problems: traffic, pollution, crime. Then there is New Delhi, which has a challenge rarely encountered elsewhere — monkeys. Hungry Rhesus macaques roam the streets and even the subway, leap through treetops outside grand government buildings and scale fences of companies and private homes in search of open windows and tempting food. Even Delhi's police headquarters has been raided by a monkey gang.

And to deal with such a rare urban problem, Delhi has come up with an unusual response: it's launched a monkey arms race. Companies and city officials have started employing langurs — large, black-faced apes — to protect buildings and scare off the smaller rhesus monkeys. "Any langur will do the business," says Zahid Khan, 20, who has been handling langurs since he was eight and most days chains one or two outside the Press Trust of India building, which houses TIME's Delhi bureau. "The monkeys are petrified of them."

...To get a better idea of how big the monkey problem is I spoke with Iqbal Malik, one of India's leading primatologists. Malik has studied monkeys for more than two decades and estimates there are now 5,000 monkeys in Delhi. Seven years ago she came up with a plan to create a reserve for the city's monkeys and begin a program of sterilization for selected male monkeys. But she says the city fumbled those plans and instead started trapping monkeys and caging them to create the impression they were doing something. (You can read her story at primatesinperil.blogspot.com). Malik says using langurs is "stupid." The smaller monkeys may be scared of langurs but they will simply move elsewhere in the city. There is also some evidence that over time the monkeys and langurs may start coexisting peacefully. Chaining langurs also contravenes India's wildlife protection act.
I'd try to comment on the deeper meaning to this story, but I'm not sure I can do so. Mostly because the entire story reminds me of a brilliant Simpsons episode. After Bart mistakenly kills a mother bird, he cares for the eggs, but is surprised when they hatch and give birth to Bolivian tree lizards. The local bird watching society, headed by Principal Skinner, advocates killing the lizards, as required by federal law, but Bart sets them free on the city. The city changes its mind when the tree lizards proceed to wipe out the annoying pigeon population, leading to this exchange between Skinner and Lisa...
Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're
overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese
needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous
type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around,
the gorillas simply freeze to death.
So all New Delhi needs is a good cold spell. Damn global warming.

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