Can You Spare A Moment?

Jay Nordlinger wrote earlier today about clipboard people -- the annoying folks who stand outside and try to accost you to discuss their political issue of the day. His readers have now sent him some hysterical responses to people who ask to spare a moment...

“When they come up to me, I always say, ‘Sorry, I’m Eastern Orthodox.’ I figure it’ll confuse them enough that it’ll rattle around in their head for a few days.”

“When they say, ‘Can you spare a moment for women’s rights?’ I say, ‘No, I’m not into women.’”

“They’ll say, ‘Can you help us with same-sex equality?’ I’ll say, ‘Only if you have pictures.’”

“I like to say, ‘Sorry, I’ve given all my money to the Republican National Committee.’”

“My response to the global-warming clipboard people is to look them in the eye and say, ‘Polar bears eat baby seals.’ That usually freezes them in their tracks long enough for me to slip by.”

When I see these people, I always think of this quote in the forgotten classic movie PCU: "These, Tom, are the Causeheads. They find a world-threatening issue and stick with it for about a week." And yes, that movie is a classic -- younger versions of Piven and Spade and 100 pounds of meat being dumped on a vegan protest make for a great movie.