The Germans Solve the Mystery of... Women?

The German love of efficiency, which is only surpassed by their love for David Hasselhoff, will now seek to conquer the enigma that has confounded men for centuries, according to Reuters...

A leading German dictionary publisher plans to launch a guide it says will help men translate the subtext of female conversation.

The Langenscheidt publishing group, best known for its well-respected yellow foreign language dictionaries, will launch sales of a 128-page book to translate such baffling female banter as: "Let's just cuddle" into "No sex tonight please!."

"Each themed chapter offers men behavioral tips and exposes hidden messages transmitted by women in everyday situations, such as on holiday or during shopping trips," said Silke Exius, chief editor at Langenscheidt.

Other examples in the "German-Woman/Woman-German" edition due out in October include explaining why a woman asks a man to take interest in the pair of shoes she may be trying on.

She wants him to look because he's about to pay for them.

The name of the chief editor is almost as unrealistic as Misty May. Or Wolf Blitzer, for that matter.

Now, I think I speak for all men when I say we'll take any help we can get. But there's two problems here. First, such a treatise threatens to expose the fact that we do understand what they're saying some of the time... and choose to ignore it anyway. Second, is this really an area of German expertise? I mean, don't they conquer the French twice a century just to learn good pick-up lines?