Those Tolerant, Open-Minded People in San Francisco

I love this story about how the San Francisco 49ers are trying to teach tolerance...

An in-house video meant to prepare 49ers players for dealing with the media backfired on the NFL team Wednesday after it was leaked to the San Francisco Chronicle.

The 15-minute film, featuring racist jokes, lesbian soft-porn and topless blondes, features the team's public relations director, Kirk Reynolds, impersonating San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom in the mayor's office and other city scenes.

Now the mayor and the city's gay leaders are outraged, the team's owners are embarrassed and Reynolds is officially looking for another job. The Chronicle described the film and published an image showing Reynolds with the half-naked women under a screaming headline on Wednesday.

Reynolds said he made the video to coach players on handling media questions in diverse San Francisco – and never meant it for public consumption.

"Did I push it too far? I did,'' Reynolds told the Chronicle. "The ideas of the tape are appropriate for the locker room – though some of the subjects were inappropriate for the values of this organization, and mine frankly.''

...Reynolds opens the film sitting behind the mayor's desk, then goes to Chinatown, where a 49ers team consultant uses racial slurs about the Chinese community. Next comes a topless, lesbian wedding filmed at a strip club and officiated by Reynolds, again impersonating the mayor.

"I know the courts say we can't do this,'' Reynolds says before the happy couple engages in heavy petting. "We make our own rules here in San Francisco.''

Reynolds then goes to SBC Park, where acting as "mayor'' he throws out the opening pitch, then takes a bribe from the catcher, who thanks him for supporting "hookers and booze.''

"You do something controversial, you say something controversial, it will have an impact on this team. So remember, be mindful of your actions,'' Reynolds says, wearing only a towel before joining three topless blondes for a group hug in a strip club's dressing room. "What you do is not only a reflection of yourself. It's a reflection of the San Francisco 49ers.''

I need to get this guy's job. In one day, he impersonated the mayor, officiated a lesbian wedding, and visited a strip club. I had entire months in college where I didn't have this much fun.