The Great Debate

Jonah Goldberg poses the important question that dogs us all -- which movie is better, Animal House or Old School?

All right, that's not really the point of Jonah's column, although he at least takes the time to come down solidly on the Animal House side of the keg. Both movies are terrific, and share some key traits -- consumption of absurd amounts of alcohol, hysterical comedic performances from SNL alums, gratutious nudity -- that serve as the key to any realistic portrayal of college life. Jokes aside, it leaves me to pose the true question which has served as the battleground for many debates with friends -- Animal House or Caddyshack?

Suffice it to say, I don't have room here for an extended explanation of why one is superior to the other (let's just say I'd go in alphabetical order). But my obscure link between the movies is this -- Sarah Holcomb is the only actor to appear in both movies, as far as I can tell (as the mayor's jailbait daughter in Animal House and as Danny's annoying girlfriend in Caddyshack). All well and good, but these two credits represent fully half of her entire acting career.

Think about that -- you only act in four movies, but two are widely recognized as among the greatest comedies of all time. Of course, she apparently left Hollywood due to substance abuse issues. Yeah -- that wasn't going to happen when you were on movie sets with Belushi and Co.

What Liberal Media?

Yeah, I'm sure ABC News had no agenda when they did this...

Blogger John Hinderaker notes that ABC News posted on its Web site yesterday the following announcement:

For a possible Inauguration Day story on ABC News, we are trying to find out if there any military funerals for Iraq war casualties scheduled for Thursday, Jan. 20. If you know of a funeral and whether the family might be willing to talk to ABC News, please fill out the form below.

As Hinderaker notes, "that only the families of Iraqi war dead need apply. If a soldier died in Afghanistan, or aiding tsunami victims in Indonesia or Sri Lanka, or in a training exercise, never mind. That isn't the 'balance' ABC is looking for."

In his Inaugural Address, meanwhile, President Bush paid tribute to the fallen: "Some have shown their devotion to our country in deaths that honored their whole lives--and we will always honor their names and their sacrifice."

ABC seems to have realized that they didn't sacrifice for the sake of the network's sneering story; the network pulled the announcement as soon as word got out on the blogosphere. (We saw it yesterday before it disappeared.) Blogger Edward Morrissey posted a copy here, though it doesn't display quite properly.

I don't even know what to say about this. I'd be appalled, except I'm not even a little surprised. Can someone explain to me how this sort of person thinks? "Hi, we'd like to cover your son/daughter's funeral because it will be an effective contrast to the parties taking place in Washington for the Inaugural. No, only if the funeral's on January 20th. Sorry, your kid doesn't matter to us unless you hold the funeral that day. No, we're not trying to score political points -- we're just trying to balance our story."

Maybe CBS has some competition for sinking down into the depths.

Cursing the Ice

The Lord of Truth notes that one hockey fan isn't taking the lockout lying down... well, he is, but not completely...

An ardent hockey fan who died this week used his obituary to denounce the NHL lockout.

Archie Bennitz, 84, instructed his son to criticize NHL commissioner Gary Bettman and union leader Bob Goodenow in his death notice.

Bennitz called Bettman and Goodenow ``skunks for denying him the pleasure of watching the NHL on TV this year,'' the obituary in the Ottawa Citizen read. Bennitz also urged Bettman to step aside in favor of Wayne Gretzky.

David Bennitz said his father had become increasingly angry during his last month in the hospital as the lockout dragged on. Hockey was the only thing he watched on TV.

Well, that figures in Canada. What else can you watch on TV there? They don't even have Fox News.

More Useless Protests

Somehow, I don't think any efforts to "unify" the country are going to pacify these folks...

Thousands of people in dozens of cities across the nation walked out of work and school, held mock coronations, intoned the names of the Iraq (news - web sites) war dead and held candlelight vigils to show their disapproval of President Bush (news - web sites) as he was sworn in for his second term.

From Bridgewater, Mass., to San Francisco, the protesters carried a similar message Thursday, deploring the war in Iraq, angry about the Patriot Act and concerned about the next four years.

"The administration thinks it's got a mandate to continue its policies," said David Williams, a 49-year-old construction company owner from Oakland, Calif., who wore a T-shirt to the San Francisco march with Bush's picture and the description, "International Terrorist."

"This is my way of saying, 'I don't think so.' The Bush administration has no respect for human rights outside the United States and they have no respect for people anywhere else in the world," he said.

Crowds were larger than organizers expected in some communities — more than 1,500 people took to the streets of New Orleans in a "jazz funeral of democracy," an event that took on the appearance of a lugubrious Mardi Gras ball, a raucous street protest, Halloween freak show and traditional New Orleans jazz funeral rolled into one.

About 1,000 people rallied in Seattle, more than 2,000 in Portland, Ore., and several thousand gathered in downtown San Francisco, where protesters waved signs and carried banners with slogans such as "Not Our President," "Drop Bush Not Bombs," and "Hail To The Thief."

There were dozens of smaller rallies, marches and walkouts as well. Two hundred protesters filled a city block marching through downtown Atlanta, 150 marched on the state capitol in Lincoln, Neb., and in Denver, several hundred demonstrators were joined at the state Capitol by a group of women wearing witches' hats who chanted "We've been under a spell." The crowd cheered when they added "But we are waking up."

In Santa Cruz, Calif., about 250 marchers followed a 20-foot-tall Statue of Liberty puppet to the Town Clock in a demonstration where former Democratic presidential nominee George McGovern was the featured speaker.

I've always wondered why people are "angry" about the Patriot Act. Believing it's unconstitutional is one thing, but suddenly becoming terribly angry about it strikes me as odd. But whatever. And having George McGovern speak -- look, the jokes would be too easy, so forget it.

In a larger context, it strikes me as odd that these folks are basically protesting because the candidate they supported lost the election. Fine -- some of these freaks think the election was stolen, but theyre about as credible as Donald Trump's hair. But everyone else is just protesting for the sake of letting out their anger. Seriously -- if they were just angry about, say, the war in Iraq, they could protest that any day. I guess there's more significance to protesting on Inauguration Day, but it's not going to change anyone's minds.

And acting like these idiots -- check the caption -- really hurts your own cause. Tearing up Army literature -- good move, guys. Maybe later you can stop by the local library and burn some books.

Ladies, Commence Wincing

The Lord of Truth provides us with a rather large story...

A woman in northeastern Brazil has given birth to what one doctor called a "giant baby," a boy weighing 16.7 pounds.

Francisca Ramos dos Santos, 38, gave birth to the healthy boy named Ademilton on Tuesday at a hospital in Salvador, 900 miles northeast of Sao Paulo. He was the largest baby born at the Albert Sabin Maternity Hospital in its 12-year history, the hospital said.

"Obviously the baby was born by Caesarean section," hospital director Rita Leal said. "Both mother and baby are doing just fine."

Ademilton "could truly be considered a giant baby, for he was born weighing what a six-month-old-baby normally weighs," pediatrician Luiz Sena Azul told the Correio da Bahia newspaper.

Yeah, I hope he was born via C-section. Yikes.

USC Coach Pete Carroll probably has someone ready to sign the kid to a letter of intent.

I Went to a Peace Rally, and a Hockey Game Broke Out

Man, those peace rallies can be dangerous places...

Hundreds of people gathered at both ends of Meridian Hill Park in Northwest Washington for a peace rally sponsored by the D.C Antiwar Network.

But there were interlopers: Thirteen members of ProtestWarror, supporting the Bush administration and its policies in Iraq. When the Bush supporters arrived, about 20 black-clad, self-described anarchists emerged from the crowd, shouting profanity and epithets and demanding that they leave the peace rally.

When the Bush supporters refused to leave, the anarchists tore the sign out of the Bush supporters' hands and stomped on them. When ProtestWarrior leader Gil Kobrin objected, several male anarchists knocked him to the ground, kicking him in the back and punching him. Other anarchists punched and shoved Kobrin's 12 colleagues.

After D.C. Antiwar Network members broke up the fight, the Bush supporters heeded their order to leave the park. Kobrin then called D.C. police, who are now guarding them at the entrance of the park as they hold up their pro-war signs. "We're going to hang tight," Kobrin said. "We're expressing our freedom of speech just as they are expressing theirs."

(hat tip: TKS) I still need an explanation why anarchists were hanging out at a peace rally, but maybe I don't want to know. Can someone send these anarchists to rural Texas for a meet and greet with some of President Bush's supporters? I'm sure they could reach an understanding of some kind.

Have One or Two for Your Health

Some solid health advice...

Women who imbibe a little wine, beer or even spirits every day are less likely than teetotalers to see their memories and other thinking powers fade as they age, according to the largest study to assess alcohol's impact on the brain.

The study of more than 12,000 elderly women found that those who consumed light to moderate amounts of alcohol daily had about a 20 percent lower risk of experiencing problems with their mental abilities later in life.

"Low levels of alcohol appear to have cognitive benefits," said Francine Grodstein of Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston, senior author on the study, published in today's New England Journal of Medicine. "Women who consistently were drinking about one-half to one drink per day had both less cognitive impairment as well as less decline in their cognitive function compared to women who didn't drink at all," Grodstein said.

While the study involved only women, the findings probably hold true for men, although previous research indicates that men seem to benefit from drinking slightly more -- one to two drinks per day, researchers said.

So women need to drink, and men need to drink even more. No one loses, and everyone wins.

The NFC Title Game is Here, Part II

I think Jeff Schultz at the Atlanta Journal-Constitution is desperately trying to annoy Eagle Nation. First, there was yesterday's serving of Falcon crap to dissect. Now, this...

They break certain rules here. One of the parking spaces reserved for the handicapped at the Eagles' training complex has been reassigned to somebody deemed far more worthy. A makeshift sign slapped over the blue wheelchair icon reads: RESERVED FOR T. OWENS ONLY.

Now, if they could just change the rules on the field, everybody would just be so much happier here.

"All of the people who are paranoid? Have a good time," Brian Dawkins said. "We're not playing that game."

This year is different, they say. Of course. When you think about it, every year has been different. Once they lost to St. Louis. Once they lost to Tampa Bay. Once they lost to Carolina. There's your difference. This week, Philadelphia plays in its fourth straight NFC title game, against the Falcons. The Eagles will be missing Terrell Owens, the player they figured could best get them over the hump or through it. No Owens, no difference?

Donovan McNabb talked about pressure Sunday after the Eagles dispatched of Minnesota, 27-14. He said it was all on the Falcons. But McNabb's trail of logic was nonsensical and presumably orchestrated to deflect attention away from himself and his team.

The Falcons have played in only one NFC title game (after the 1998 season). They won.

The Eagles have played in four in the modern era. They won in 1980 and constructed a new identity for themselves in the last three.

The Falcons are underdogs Sunday. If they lose this game, there will be abbreviated feelings of devastation, immediately followed by warm reflections on the season and a glowing outlook on the future, thanks to the franchise's four corners: Arthur Blank, Rich McKay, Jim Mora and Michael Vick.

If the Eagles lose, there won't even be a millisecond of excuse time. This isn't a town built for, "That's OK, guys. We know T.O. didn't play. The important thing is, you tried. Hot cocoa?" This is a town built for, "Andy Reid - dead man. Donovan McNabb - dead. Every miserable slob in that pathetic organization - dead."

And the pressure is on the Falcons?

...Perception is reality. The Falcons are the fun team to watch, the young team on the rise. The Eagles are the franchise that's out of excuses. Lose in the Super Bowl without Owens, they could be forgiven. Lose Sunday without Owens but with Jevon Kearse and with Brian Westbrook and on their home field - again - there's no slack, bunky.

...This is how long it has been since Philadelphia won an NFL championship: Chuck Bednarik played 58 minutes as a center and linebacker. The Eagles beat Green Bay in 1960.

I might get tired of ripping this guy to shreds by Thursday, but not yet.

1. Yeah, I know the Eagles haven't won a title since 1960. But the Falcons have as many NFL Titles as Pauly Shore has Oscars.

2. Last I checked, T.O. has a broken leg. I know he's superman, but a broken bone generally qualifies you for a handicapped space. Heck, I know some people who spent a couple years at Villanova with a handicapped sticker on their automobile, and they needed it far less than T.O. does now.

3. Yeah, T.O. won't play Sunday. So what will be the Falcons' excuse when an Eagles team that's less than 100% beats them? It wasn't their time yet?

4. Schultz sees a "glowing outlook on the future" for the Falcons franchise. Please, why don't they try earning consecutive playoff berths before they start bragging? The Eagles have been to the playoffs five straight years. They're several million under the salary cap, thanks to smart cap management (too smart, sometimes). They've locked up a lot of their young talent. Their top four picks from the 2002 draft (Sheppard, Lewis, Brown and Westbrook) include two Pro Bowlers (Sheppard and Lewis), another starting cornerback (Brown) and their most explosive offensive weapon (Westbrook). And they have ten draft picks in April, including three in the top 60 picks. Now that's a glowing future.

5. Mike Vick, wunderkind that he is, passed for 82 yards more than I did last weekend, and I was checking out rehearsal dinner sites in Hershey, PA. Vick will need to pass for a lot more than that to win on Sunday. Unfortunately, he's playing a secondary with three Pro Bowlers in it.

6. Fine, the Falcons are a fun team to watch. So were the Colts. Peyton Manning will be watching the Super Bowl again, same as everyone else. Maybe he can keep a seat warm for Vick.

7. Please note the entire absence of any real football analysis comparing the two teams in his column. I was half-expecting a lame joke about booing Santa Claus. Maybe he's saving that for tomorrow.

8. The Falcons, miracle of miracles, won their only NFC Championship Game appearance, back in 1998. That was so long ago that no one save a few rabid Virginia Tech boosters knew who Vick was. It was so long ago that America didn't even know who Ashton Kutcher was (sigh - a much better time, in many ways). That was so long ago, Mike Shanahan actually won a playoff game - he won the Super Bowl. In fact, there's a nice legacy for the Falcons -- they're the last team to lose to Shanahan in a playoff game.

9. The Falcons will likely rely on their league-leading rushing attack on Sunday, which also means relying on their rushing leader, Warrick Dunn. The same Warrick Dunn whose first two playoff visits to Philadelphia ended in frostbite and losses with Tampa Bay. Somebody needs to get Dunn some long johns.

10. Yes, the fans in Philly are tough. But are we sure there are any fans in Atlanta? We know one thing -- the reason people will walk away with a feel-good glow in Atlanta on Monday after they lose is because they don't have any real passion for their team. Eagles fans bleed green-and-white. Falcons fans need to be reminded what their team colors are.

Iraq and the Media

The Kansas Redhead is aggravated. I don't blame him. He points out the attached article, which is well worth the read. It's written by one of our soldiers in Iraq -- and he's rightfully angry about the press covergae of Iraq. Here's an excerpt...

...Through their incomplete, uninformed and unbalanced reporting, many members of the media covering the war in Iraq are aiding and abetting the enemy.

The fact is the Coalition is making steady progress in Iraq, but not without ups and downs. So why is it that no matter what events unfold, good or bad, the media highlights mostly the negative aspects of the event? The journalistic adage, "If it bleeds, it leads," still applies in Iraq, but why only when it's American blood?

As a recent example, the operation in Fallujah delivered an absolutely devastating blow to the insurgency. Though much smaller in scope, clearing Fallujah of insurgents arguably could equate to the Allies' breakout from the hedgerows in France during World War II. In both cases, our troops overcame a well-prepared and solidly entrenched enemy and began what could be the latter's last stand. In Fallujah, the enemy death toll has exceeded 1,500 and still is climbing. Put one in the win column for the good guys, right? Wrong. As soon as there was nothing negative to report about Fallujah, the media shifted its focus to other parts of the country.

More recently, a major news agency's website lead read: "Suicide Bomber Kills Six in Baghdad" and "Seven Marines Die in Iraq Clashes." True, yes. Comprehensive, no. Did the author of this article bother to mention that Coalition troops killed 50 or so terrorists while incurring those seven losses? Of course not. Nor was there any mention about the substantial progress these offensive operations continue to achieve in defeating the insurgents. Unfortunately, this sort of incomplete reporting has become the norm for the media, whose poor job of presenting a complete picture of what is going on in Iraq borders on being criminal.

Much of the problem is about perspective, putting things in scale and balance. What if domestic news outlets continually fed American readers headlines like: "Bloody Week on U.S. Highways: Some 700 Killed," or "More Than 900 Americans Die Weekly from Obesity-Related Diseases"? Both of these headlines might be true statistically, but do they really represent accurate pictures of the situations? What if you combined all of the negatives to be found in the state of Texas and used them as an indicator of the quality of life for all Texans? Imagine the headlines: "Anti-law Enforcement Elements Spread Robbery, Rape and Murder through Texas Cities." For all intents and purposes, this statement is true for any day of any year in any state. True — yes, accurate — yes, but in context with the greater good taking place — no! After a year or two of headlines like these, more than a few folks back in Texas and the rest of the U.S. probably would be ready to jump off of a building and end it all. So, imagine being an American in Iraq right now.

From where I sit in Iraq, things are not all bad right now. In fact, they are going quite well. We are not under attack by the enemy; on the contrary, we are taking the fight to him daily and have him on the ropes. In the distance, I can hear the repeated impacts of heavy artillery and five-hundred-pound bombs hitting their targets. The occasional tank main gun report and the staccato rhythm of a Marine Corps LAV or Army Bradley Fighting Vehicle's 25-millimeter cannon provide the bass line for a symphony of destruction. As elements from all four services complete the absolute annihilation of the insurgent forces remaining in Fallujah, the area around the former insurgent stronghold is more peaceful than it has been for more than a year.

The number of attacks in the greater Al Anbar Province is down by at least 70-80 percent from late October — before Operation Al Fajar began. The enemy in this area is completely defeated, but not completely gone. Final eradication of the pockets of insurgents will take some time, as it always does, but the fact remains that the central geographic stronghold of the insurgents is now under friendly control. That sounds a lot like success to me. Given all of this, why don't the papers lead with "Coalition Crushes Remaining Pockets of Insurgents" or "Enemy Forces Resort to Suicide Bombings of Civilians"? This would paint a far more accurate picture of the enemy's predicament over here. Instead, headlines focus almost exclusively on our hardships.

What about the media's portrayal of the enemy? Why do these ruthless murderers, kidnappers and thieves get a pass when it comes to their actions? What did the the media show or tell us about Margaret Hassoon, the director of C.A.R.E. in Iraq and an Iraqi citizen, who was kidnapped, brutally tortured and left disemboweled on a street in Fallujah? Did anyone in the press show these images over and over to emphasize the moral failings of the enemy as they did with the soldiers at Abu Ghuraib? Did anyone show the world how this enemy had huge stockpiles of weapons in schools and mosques, or how he used these protected places as sanctuaries for planning and fighting in Fallujah and the rest of Iraq? Are people of the world getting the complete story? The answer again is no! What the world got instead were repeated images of a battle-weary Marine who made a quick decision to use lethal force and who immediately was tried in the world press. Was this one act really illustrative of the overall action in Fallujah? No, but the Marine video clip was shown an average of four times each hour on just about every major TV news channel for a week. This is how the world views our efforts over here and stories like this without a counter continually serve as propaganda victories for the enemy. Al Jazeera isn't showing the film of the C.A.R.E. worker, but is showing the clip of the Marine. Earlier this year, the Iraqi government banned Al Jazeera from the country for its inaccurate reporting. Wonder where they get their information now? Well, if you go to the Internet, you'll find a web link from the Al Jazeera home page to CNN's home page. Very interesting.

Look, I don't know if everything LTC Ryan says is correct. But one of the rants yours truly has been dying to write for the last umpteen years has been my "I'm Sick of Vietnam" rant. Basically, the gist of this eventual piece will be the obsession of some people to comparing every American military maneuver, from Grenada to Lebanon to Afghanistan to Iraq, to the only war America ever lost (please note, the American military did not lose the war -- we, the American people, did). I mean, does anyone ever compare any of our military engagments to the Spanish-American War?

Now, the situation in Iraq is problematic, and the news media generally gravitates toward bad news anyway. But it's my personal belief that many in the news media -- led by the left-wing dishrag -- would love to create another War-Whose-Name-I-Refuse-To-Say-Again for their own unbridled joy in seeing America taken down a peg. Even if you don't want to go that far, it's reasonably clear that the media relishes negative, sensational headlines from Iraq. And some media outlets, like the dishrag, love to undermine the idea that some things are going well in Iraq.

Don't believe me? Take a look at Sarah Boxer's piece in the dishrag today. I'd tear into the "reporting" myself, but Instapundit has a nice roundup of people who have already taken care of it. Part of his last paragraph summarizes it perfectly...

Tom Hazlewood emails: "Give the MSM credit for consistency in Iraq. When Saddam was in power, the MSM refused to tell us the truth about Iraq. Now that he's gone, they still refuse to tell the story of Iraq. That hasn't changed, at all." Faint praise. . . .

I will, at some point this weekend, tie this whole wonderful shot to Dan Rather and CBS. In the meantime, ponder one thought -- if all we still had was the Big Three Networks and the left-wing dishrag, would we still be in Iraq?

Clearing Up My Mistakes

The Lord of Truth points out that I goofed in yesterday's post about America's favorite burger gal (the picures confirm that she really is only 100 pounds), when I noted that her undergraduate institution, the College of New Jersey, was also known as Rutgers. As the Lord pointed out, I was in error -- the College of New Jersey is actually the school formerly known as Trenton State, while Rutgers only bills itself as the "State University of New Jersey."

Which leaves one question -- why would either school want to advertise their connection to New Jersey? Why not call yourself "the official university of the area south of New York" or the "College of Region East of Pennsylvania" instead?

Donuts -- Is there Anything They Can't Do?

Apparently, they can't make enough money anymore...

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts Inc. said Chief Executive Officer Scott Livengood is retiring and being succeeded by a turnaround specialist from a firm that specializes in restructurings.

The company also announced that its banks have granted a brief extension of its credit lines. Krispy Kreme said it would have been in violation of its bank covenants Jan. 14 after it failed to file quarterly financials on time.

The news sent Krispy Kreme's shares soaring.

Mr. Livengood's exit comes as Krispy Kreme is struggling with a tangle of accounting problems, an investigation by the Securities and Exchange Commission and declining sales of its famous glazed doughnuts. Krispy Kreme said average weekly sales per store tumbled 18% in the eight weeks ended Dec. 26 compared with a year earlier.

The Winston-Salem, N.C., company warned that the sharp downturn in sales and costs related to its legal and regulatory woes could result in a loss for the current quarter. Krispy Kreme added that it will review with its turnaround specialist possible store consolidations. Krispy Kreme now has 435 stores in the U.S., Australia, Canada, Mexico and the United Kingdom.

It's a sad time in America when they need to restructure the premier donut company. I blame Dr. Atkins. To be fair, since I blast him on every other occasion, I have to admit Michael Moore is probably doing his part.

$22 Million????

What's scary is, he might even be worth it...

Roger Clemens filed for a record $22 million in salary arbitration on Tuesday, and the Houston Astros offered the seven-time Cy Young Award winner $13.5 million.

The Rocket, who helped lead the Astros within one win of their first World Series appearance, still has not decided whether to pitch this year or retire.

Until now, the highest figure ever submitted for arbitration was $18.5 million in 2001 by New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter, who then agreed to a $189 million, 10-year deal.

The highest salary ever earned by a pitcher in a single season was $17.5 million, last year by Boston's Pedro Martinez.

Clemens did take a below-market deal last season, but apparently that's not going to happen this year. Maybe the Astros can sign him and trade him back to the Yankees, so Steinbrenner can pursue a $300 million payroll.

The Words Are Still Worth Reading

Take a pause and read the words of Martin Luther King. I'm from a generation that has grown up in an age when, despite the claims of some politicians, race is no longer the divise issue it once was. It still divides at times -- but in elss than two generations, our nation has come further than anyone might have expected, even on that day in 1963 when these words were first said...

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity. But one hundred years later, we must face the tragic fact that the Negro is still not free.

One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land.

So we have come here today to dramatize an appalling condition. In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir.

This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation.

So we have come to cash this check -- a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all of God's children. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the determination of the Negro. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights.

The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges. But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. we must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

We cannot walk alone. And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" we can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal." I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers. I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring." And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania! Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado! Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California! But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia! Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee! Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Something Stinks in Wisconsin -- and It's Not the Cheese

One of my fellow bloggers has an interesting thought. Did Bush win by more than we thought? Hey, who was going to stop them from cheating in Milwaukee -- the Fonz?

The NFC Title Game is Here

Seriously, who lets this guy write a sports column?

It's a rematch in name only. Two years ago when the Falcons came to Philadelphia for a playoff game, the thinking was, "They beat the Packers. Impressive. Cute. But the Eagles? Ain't happening." Two years ago, the Eagles had not yet fully developed into a playoff folding table. Two years ago, the Eagles were still scary.

The cloak of mystery came off Philadelphia yesterday. It was the first game that mattered to the team in a month. It was the first time the Eagles' offense actually tried to function since Terrell Owens suffered an ankle injury and coach Andy Reid covered every remaining important player in bubble-wrap.

And what we found was this: Philadelphia Eagles - not scary.

Yes, they won. Philadelphia did everybody a favor and eliminated the NFC's other .500 playoff team with a 27-14 win over Minnesota. As a result, the Eagles will go to the conference title game for the fourth straight season, hopeful that things turn out better than the previous three experiences (losses to St. Louis, Tampa Bay, Carolina). But beyond showing that they could move the ball against the NFL's 28th-ranked defense, Philly didn't nearly resemble the wrecking crew that began the season 13-1.

Two years ago, the Falcons came here after their wild-card upset in Green Bay, hung with the Eagles for a while, saw a Michael Vick game-tying touchdown scramble wiped out by a holding penalty, and eventually lost, 20-6. On Sunday, they will come here with the same spotlight at quarterback but with a different backdrop. They will come here fresh off an annihilation of the St. Louis Rams.

They will come here with thoughts of winning a game that isn't nearly as daunting a task as it seemed two years ago.

"I think the Falcons will beat them," said Carolina receiver Muhsin Muhammad, whose Panthers went to the Super Bowl after upsetting the Eagles last year. He was in attendance yesterday, working for the NFL Network. "We played against both teams this season. The Falcons are a lot better defensively than the Vikings, and I don't know what the Eagles are going to do about Vick. They may need to call up the Tampa Bay coach and find out what they did. Or just bring in Derrick Brooks."

Donovan McNabb often had a lunch hour to operate. He threw for 286 yards and two touchdowns. But the Eagles struggled to put away a mediocre team after building a 21-7 lead five minutes into the second quarter, managing only two field goals the rest of the game. One of their touchdowns followed two fortuitous pass-interference penalties and was scored when a Viking knocked the ball free from tight end L.J. Smith into midair, only to have it fall into the hands of Freddie Mitchell. The Eagles also fumbled out of the end zone for a touchback. They mismanaged the clock at the end of the first half, blowing a chip-shot field goal.

Defensively, the Eagles played well but benefited from an opponent that forgot some of the basics. The Vikings once had too many men on the field and another time called a fake field goal, which would have been fine if everybody was in on the fake. When holder/quarterback Gus Frerotte stepped back and looked to the open corner of the end zone where Randy Moss was suppose to be, it looked like MTV had started another reality show: NFL Punk'd.

I'd spend all day dissecting these ramblings, but instead I'll do it in summary fashion. To wit:

1. The Falcons' big whupping of St. Louis was nice. They also beat an 8-8 team with no concept of how to play run defense.

2. On the season, Atlanta outscored its opponents by three points -- overall. Fine, they got beat by 46 points by KC, which skewed the numbers. But the Eagles outscored their opponents by 126 points, which includes a four touchdown loss to Cincy and a 13 point loss to the Rams in meaningless games where Andy Reid rested his regulars. That 46 point drubbing by KC of Atlanta came in a game that actually mattered.

3. Eagles defensive coordinator Jim Johnson has done a terrific job containing scrambling quarterbacks in the past. Vick may be a better scrambler than Dante Culpepper, but Culpepper is definitely better at reading a defense -- and Culpepper looked pretty confused on Sunday. Culpepper only threw 11 picks while tossing 39 TDs this season. On Sunday, he threw one meaningless late TD pass while throwing two interceptions. Vick only threw 12 interceptions all season... but he also only threw 14 TD passes. Jim Johnson will have something special ready for him Sunday.

4. Basically, because Freddie Mitchell fumbled while making a terrific effort to score and the team screwed the pooch on clock management at the end of the first half, this guy's claiming they should have had ten more points. So they outplayed Minnestota by even more than is indicated by the score? How does this make the Eagles less scary?

5. Fortuitous pass interference calls may be in vogue next week, too. Last I checked, Atlanta's corners aren't playing in the Pro Bowl. Meanwhile, 3/4 of our secondary is heading to Hawaii the second weekend in February. I know Vick tries to beat people with his legs more than his arm, but he's really going to have trouble if he wants to do it with his arm this week.

6. Wow, Tampa Bay shut down Vick earlier this season. That same Tampa team gave up 44 more points than the Eagles and finished 5-11. Are the Eagles supposed to want to trade for the Bucs defense?

7. The Vikings screwed up a fake field goal. Let's say they converted the field goal and finished the game with 17 points. Am I missing something here? They still lose by ten points in that case.

8. Yeah, I know, three straight NFC Title Games. Are we supposed to be upset that we have experience on our side?

9. You know, there are ways to aggravate me. Sports journalists from Atlanta talking smack about my favorite team is one prime way to get me aggravated. We're talking about a city that has trouble drawing flies for its sports teams and whose biggest claim to football fame is being the place where Ray Lewis was arrested for double murder. Last I checked, the Falcons have never had back-to-back winning seasons in their history.

10. And if we want to discuss good omens, I have a SWEET picture of William Tecumsah Sherman and some of his men strolling out into the Georgia night, giving us the original meaning for "Hot-lanta."

I've been waiting nearly 365 days for this. Let's get it on.

Things I Would Have Been Able to Do in College

The Lord of Truth points out one woman who's apparently not worried about her weight...

A 100-pound female college student is the first to meet the Denny's Beer Barrel Pub challenge: down the restaurant's six-pound hamburger - and five pounds of fixins' - within three hours.

Kate Stelnick, 19, of Princeton, N.J., made the five-hour drive with two friends from The College of New Jersey on Wednesday, after they saw pictures of the monster burger, dubbed the Ye Old 96er, on the Internet and on TV's Food Network.

"I just saw it on TV and I really thought I could do it," Stelnick said, after downing the burger in two hours, 54 minutes.

Stelnick didn't eat for two days to prepare for the challenge. "I felt very full, but I was too excited that I actually ate it to notice," Stelnick said.

Denny Leigey Jr., the owner of the bar 35 miles northwest of State College, had offered a two-pound burger for years and conceived of the six-pounder after his daughter went to college and phoned him about a bar that sold a four-pounder.

But nobody had finished the big burger in the three-hour time limit since it was introduced on Super Bowl Sunday 1998 - not even competitive eater Eric "Badlands" Booker. The 420-pound Booker - who has eaten such things as 49 glazed doughnuts in eight minutes and two pounds of chocolate bars in six minutes - tried three times to eat the burger and finally did on his third effort. But it took Booker 7 1/2 hours.

The burger takes 45 minutes to cook, and those who try to meet the three-hour limit must use no utensils and eat all of these fixins: one large onion, two whole tomatoes, one half head of lettuce, 1 1/4 pounds of cheese, top and bottom buns, and a cup each of mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, relish, banana peppers and some pickles.

As someone who once polished off Shula's 48 oz. steak in under ten minutes, I'm not too impressed. Well, at least she's a cheap date. But since when does anyone actually refer to Rutgers by its real name?