It's The End of the World...

Okay, so it's nothing to worry about... but does anyone else find it ominous that Friday the 13th would be the date of impact?

There’s a 1-in-300 chance that a recently discovered asteroid, believed to be about 1,300 feet (400 meters) long, could hit Earth in 2029, a NASA scientist said Thursday, but he added that the perceived risk probably will be eliminated once astronomers get more detail about its orbit.

There have been only a limited number of sightings of Asteroid 2004 MN4, which has been given an initial rating of 2 on the 10-point Torino Impact Hazard Scale used by astronomers to predict asteroid or comet impacts, said Donald Yeomans, manager of the Near Earth Object Program at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena.

No previously observed asteroid has been graded higher than 1.

On Friday, April 13, 2029, “we can’t yet rule out an Earth impact,” Yeomans said. “But the impact probability, as we call it, is 300-to-1 against an impact.”

I think we can all agree on one thing -- if this leads to another Ben Affleck-Liv Tyler love scene, it's definitely a bad thing.

Well, It Was Close, So...

I'd like to say I told you so, but I think Hugh Hewitt deserves credit for learning the lessons of Florida 2000 the best. After several recounts, Democratic gubernatorial candidate Christine Gregoire "wins" over Republican Dino Rossi...

Democrat Christine Gregoire won the Washington governor's race by 130 votes, according to final recount results announced Thursday from Seattle's King County, but Republican Dino Rossi and his supporters said the back-and-forth contest was far from finished, more than seven weeks after the election.

"The election is over," Gregoire said at a news conference in the state Capitol Thursday night, flanked by outgoing Gov. Gary Locke. She added, however, that she was not declaring victory in the incredibly close race.

Gregoire urged Rossi and his supporters to accept the results of the statewide hand recount, the third count of ballots and the first to put her ahead. King County was the last of the state's 39 counties to finish its recount.

Read the rest if you feel like it; I'm beyond disgust over this mess. I feel for the Republicans in Washington, who just watched -- well, let's just call the actions of our friends in the opposition party and their surrogate vote counters in King County "suspicious." Repeatedly finding ballots that were "mistakenly" probably has the late Richard Daley buying drinks all around in the afterlife.

Is there a silver lining? Perhaps, as noted by this point...

Since Election Day, Gregoire has gone from favorite to underdog and back to favorite.

A three-term state attorney general, Gregoire, 57, was widely viewed as the anointed successor to Locke, also a Democrat. Rossi, 45, a real estate agent and former state senator, jumped into the race only after the GOP's first three choices declined to run.

I'm convinced the Dems will effectively counter the efforts to stop Gregoire from taking office. But I'm also convinced that the Washington GOP, if well-organized, can mobilize effectively and build their voter base after this mess. They came close in a situation where the Dems should ahve won going away, and the future lies with the GOP. The key is to avoid anger -- be motivated, but don't let it cloud your judgment, unlike some (coughmoveoncough) people.

Yes, But Would He Rather Be Aquaman?

Some superheroes just can't catch a break...

As movie projects featuring founding members of comic book land's Justice
League of America ramp up, the green-skinned detective from our solar system's
fourth planet can't get arrested in Hollywood.

Which begs the question: So, um, who's Martian Manhunter?

"The Martian Manhunter is the Shemp of the Justice League," says TV
writer-producer and comics guru Mark Evanier.

More specifically, Martian Manhunter is one of the seven original members
of the JLA, the all-star superhero collective founded by DC Comics in 1960.

The other founding heroes: Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, the Flash,
Aquaman and the Green Lantern. Each character has a movie on the way, a deal in
the works or a rumor in the mill.

You know, unlike Martian Manhunter.

If he was smart, he'd claim discrimination. Once the inauguration is over, Jesse Jackson will be looking for something to protest.

Merry Christmas!

Hugh Hewitt, Jeff Jarvis and Jim Geraghty tear into one another with a good old-fashioned solid debate on the issue of Christmas in the public sphere. I'd include E. J. Dionne in the debate, but Geraghty tunes him up like Mike Tyson dropped Michael Spinks.

I'll say more about this in a couple days. But bottom line -- it's Christmas. So Merry Christmas to all of you.

The NFL Recap, Week Fifteen

I do these every week at work as part of my duties as Sports Czar, so why not share with the public?

So, how was your weekend?

We know what everyone (well, all six of you who read this) here is waiting for – an impassioned, thoroughly insane, slightly psychotic and completely overwrought plea to the football Gods regarding the horrible calamity that has befallen my favorite team (that's here). In case you missed both the 1,000 updates on ESPN Monday and the loud wailing from the Delaware Valley, Eagles superstar wide receiver Terrell Owens broke his fibula and tore several ligaments in his ankle, likely ending his season.

Sure, I could be depressed. Then again, at least I’m not a Redskins fan.

We know that the Eagles will soldier on. Therefore, so will we, with this week’s recap. And in the spirit of the season, we present the Christmas wishlist for fans of each team – this week, the NFC and next week, the AFC. And hey, if you’re sick of Christmas, just pretend that this is an advance Arbor Day List.

Philadelphia Eagles (13-1): To make the Super Bowl, and have Terrell Owens make an appearance for something more than a pre-game vignette with Nicollette Sheridan.

New York Giants (5-9): For Eli Manning to survive his first season in the NFL, and for the fans in New York to keep paying attention to the Yankees, so Manning isn’t abused for not being Ben Roethlisberger.

Washington Redskins (5-9): For the return of Joe Gibbs. No, not this one. Oh, this is the real Joe Gibbs? Fine. Can someone send Dan Snyder on a decade-long cruise somewhere?

Dallas Cowboys (5-9): We don’t grant wishes to Cowboys fans.

Green Bay Packers (8-6): For the alien who kidnaps Brett Favre two or three times a game to stop, so that he ceases throwing those “What the heck was he thinking” passes.

Minnesota Vikings (8-6): A defense would be nice.

Detroit Lions (5-9): A long-snapper, and for Joey Harrington to have the flu every week. He seems to play better with it.

Chicago Bears (5-9): A quarterback, or the return of the “Da Bears” skits to Saturday Night Live. At least the latter would ease the pain of having to watch this team.

Atlanta Falcons (11-3): Continued health for Michael Vick, and someone to tell team owner Arthur Blank that it’s not cool to show up on the sidelines during the second half of every game.

Carolina Panthers (6-8): I don’t grant wishes to Panthers fans, but we’ll make one exception – we hope they can spend the month of January watching ACC basketball, like they want.

New Orleans Saints (6-8): For someone to take their underachieving football team and combine it with their underachieving basketball team. You didn’t know New Orleans has a basketball team? Neither does anyone in New Orleans.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-9): Someone to prevent Jon Gruden from going on a Chucky-like rampage, and some geritol. Hey, there’s hardly anyone below 80 in Tampa Bay.

Seattle Seahawks (7-7): A heart, so they can install one into their team.

St. Louis Rams (6-8): A brain, so they can install it into Mike Martz.

Arizona Cardinals (5-9): There is no such thing as a Cardinals fan. It’s like Santa Claus – all fictional. Oops, sorry to ruin that myth for you as well.

San Francisco 49ers (2-12): Tapes of the 1980’s and 1990’s seasons, because it’s going to be a long time before they’re any good again.

The Wedding Update

This wedding update is brought to you by E-vite, the invite system not being used (I think) for the little shindig in March.

219 days to go...

I have heard from the Lord of Truth that the bachelor party planning has begun. As a reminder, I'm not to be involved in the planning, which means this is an opportunity for abusing me. Somewhat fitting, considering the purpose of said event shall be the same.

In the meantime, my thanks go out to the Lord of Truth, and anyone else assisting in the planning -- I'm not certain that I'm worthy of the great event that will take place, but I plan to enjoy it. Additional thanks go out to Bags, for his significant contribution to my future vacation planning.

What Annoying Song is Stuck in My Head Today?

If I need to suffer with a song stuck in my head, why shouldn't you have to do the same? Sometimes they're good, most times they're bad... but no matter what, they make you suffer. So I like to share the suffering whenever it happens.

Okay, more '80's bad music. And this one came up at work, thanks to my good friend NC. For some reason, the two of us began discussing Hall & Oates, and John Oates' mustache (insert porn movie joke here). So of course... sigh...

Here's "I Can't Go For That"...

Easy, ready,
Willing, overtime,
Where does it stop,
Where do you dare me to draw the line.

You've got the body,
Now you want my soul,
Don't even think about it,
Say no go.

I-- I 'll do anything that you want me to do,
And I'll do almost anything, that you want me too, ooh,

But I can't go for that, (No can do)
No, I can't go for that, (No can do)
Oh, I can't go for that, (No can do)
I can't go for that, can't go for that, can't go for that.

I can't go for being twice as nice,
I can't go for just repeating the same old lines.

Use the body, now you want my soul,
Ooh, forget about it, now say no go.

I-- I'll do anything that you want me to do,
And I'll do almost anything that you want me to do,

But I can't go for that, (No can do)
No, I can't go for that, (No can do)
Oh, I can't go for that, (No can do)
I can't go for that, can't go for that, can't go for that.

You're welcome.

Wonkette vs. The Pajamahadeen

Apparently Wonkette has a problem with the pajamahadeen who nailed Dan Rather...

I think they did a disservice to the debate because they made the debate about the documents and not about the president of the United States. There was another half to that story that had to do with verifiable events of what Bush may have been up to.

Um, exactly what did Wonkette contribute to the debate? Is she still aggrieved about passing on erroneous exit poll data on November 2nd? I think LGF is right on target with his analysis. And Powerline is even better:

Pointing out that CBS was passing off fake documents, and basing a story on them, was obviously worthwhile regardless of what you think about President Bush's National Guard service.

More important, though, is the fact that Ana Marie's effort to resuscitate the "fake, but accurate" theory is simply wrong. The truth is that President Bush's National Guard service was both dangerous and honorable. He fulfilled his Guard commitment; in fact, he accumulated three times as many credits as he needed to be in good standing. His reviews were uniformly glowing, and he was an excellent pilot. He volunteered for a program that would have resulted in his being shipped to Vietnam, but was not accepted because it was not considered worthwhile to train him on a new airplane. See our posts here, here, here, here, here, and here.

Given the known facts about President Bush's Guard service, the fact that Mary Mapes spent five years trying to find grounds for criticism takes on an aura of monomania.

Oh, one more thing: President Bush signed the form authorizing release of all of his military records long ago. John Kerry has refused to sign the authorization form; now that the election is over, there will no longer be any pressure on him to do so. So history will record, I guess, that we know one thing for sure: President Bush was honorably discharged from the service.

It's sort of frustrating that Wonkette gets so much mainstream press. Then again, they are the mainstream press, and she is entertaining. Of course, maybe we should take heart -- Powerline is Time Magazine's Blog of the Year.

What Do I Want for Christmas?

For weeks now, people have been asking me what I want for Chrsitmas. Now, I have a response: MAKE T.O.'S ANKLE MAGICALLY HEAL!

Philadelphia Eagles star receiver Terrell Owens will miss the rest of the regular season and possibly the playoffs and Super Bowl with torn ligaments in his right ankle.

Owens needs surgery and stands only an outside chance of being able to play in the Super Bowl on Feb. 6 if the Eagles make it that far, head trainer Rick Burkholder said.

77 catches, 1200 yards and 14 TDs... all gone. Best of all, I now hear it's a broken fibula. Thanks, Mr. Roy Williams. Just for this, I'm hunting for a Williams voodoo doll, and rooting for USC to obliterate Williams' old school in the Orange Bowl.

Oh, yeah, I know what Andy Reid has said and will say -- it's just one player, the rest of the players will step up, and we have to go on. Yadayadayada. And he's right.

That's what he has to say, and I actually think he believes that. Hell, he has to. And while he's in better shape for the playoffs right now than he was last year at this time, we're still lacking The Guy, The One, The Missing Link.

Sure, Westbrook is healthy and will be available come playoff time (note to Reid: put him in the luxury box for the next two games. No sideline, just keep him safe. Have someone taste-test his food, if need be. Put him in the Popemobile, for crying out loud.). That is an improvement on last year's playoff offense. But last year, we also had Duce and Buckhalter. Levens is neither. The running backs... well, let's say Westbrook is a significant improvement over Buck, and Levens is, at best, a pale shadow of Duce (and that's a HUGE stretch). Add in the fact that Josh Parry, while he's played well, is no Jon Ritchie, and you'd say the Birds are equal at best at running back, but with a huge home run threat they didn't have before.

I'll give someone a point if they want to claim that our tight ends are better -- Lewis has played well this year, and Smith is a better player than a year ago... although it would be nice if he suddenly turned into Antonio Gates.

But receiver? Fred-Ex has been non-existent for much of the year. Greg Lewis has had some nice moments, but what are we really expecting from him? And are we going to enter one more playoff season with Todd Pinkston as the top receiver? Maybe the Redskins can trade us Thrash, just so we can have a reunion.

Face it, the pressure is on one man's shoulders -- that's Donovan McNabb. He's capable of playing big (as he did in the fourth quarter against Dallas yesterday), but he's also capable of being scattershot and inconsistent (like the first three quarters yesterday). He may have to turn to the scrambling menace he was early in his career, because the rest of his offense, with the exception of Westbrook and maybe Smith, is starving for playmakers.

Andy Reid has some pressure on him as well. I'm hoping he gets creative, by using both Westbrook and the returning Reno Mahe more at WR, just for different looks and to get some speed on the edges. Hell, maybe they should try Jevon Kearse in there on the goal line or something -- look what Carolina's done with Julius Peppers. I don't want them to just plug in Billy McMullen and pretend everything's okay.

As for Eagles Nation...

We have to believe. We don't have a choice.

But this is the sort of painful memory everyone remembers when the season's over. Hard-core Birds fans will add this to the fog in Chicago in 1988... to missed field goals in the playoffs in 1978... to Roynell Young losing a battle with Cliff Branch for a ball in the end zone in Super Bowl XV... to Kenny King taking a screen that should have been picked for an 80-yard score in the same game... to Ben Smith's 90 yard fumble return against the Redskins in the 1990 playoffs getting called back by instant replay... to McNabb's broken ankle in 2002... to Kelvin Martin taking back a punt to beat the red-hot Eagles and the best defense ever in 1991, knocking us out of the playoffs... to Westbrook's torn tricep in 2003... to N.D. Kalu missing a punt block by two inches against the Rams in 2001... to Bryce friggin' Paup and Randall's knee in 1991.

Everyone of those times -- every single stinking one -- we had a team that was good enough to win it all. EVERY TIME. And every time, something got in the way -- an injury, dumb luck, a freaking rules change, the weather, whatever.

It's this record that causes me and every other Eagles fan to think God hates us. I used to laugh when Bill Simmons at ESPN used to wonder if it was okay to someday raise his children as Red Sox fans. I'm starting to understand why such an outlandish statement makes sense sometimes.
If you're a Philly sports fan, this whole litany makes sense. It even makes sense that we lose an NFC Title Game, but our consolation turns out to be that an actor who's from Philly (but embodies nothing about the city) wins a Golden Globe the same night. Of course, since he's from Philly, it's only a Golden Globe and not an Oscar. In the end, this is all venting saved for another day. January 16th, 2005 or January 24th, 2005, or possibly, if fate is especially cruel, February 7th, 2005.

Then again, maybe we overcome it all. Maybe this is the dark moment on the championship DVD, the moment I use someday when I tell my kids stories about persevering and never giving up on a dream. Maybe this is the moment when we kick it into higher gear and become the magical team that ends all the curses Philly sports teams have suffered for so many years. Maybe someday, we'll all laugh and talk about how the Eagles won Super Bowl XXXIX despite missing one of their key stars, and how we all thought the dream was dead.

Okay, let me take that opening statement back. I know what I want for Christmas, Santa. Give me that Super Bowl victory.

Merry Christmas! or not...

The always enjoyable James Lileks has the following piece in the Minneapolis Star Tribune, which had me falling out of my chair...

Maybe it's just me. Perhaps I'm overly sensitive. But when I wish a store clerk "Merry Christmas!" they often appear stunned and flummoxed for a moment, as if I've just blabbed the plans for the underground's sabotage of the train tracks in front of the secret police. I've said something highly inappropriate for the public square, and I almost expect a security guard to take me aside on the way out. He'll lead me to a small room. He has no enthusiasm for this; it's the end of his shift, and he's done this a dozen times already today. But policy is policy.

Sir, you realize that the store does not use the, um, ah, C word. We have nothing against it, of course, and wish you a merry (cough)mas, as well. But when you say that to a store employee, it puts them in a difficult position.

"You mean that position where they have to smile while wondering if they're going to be disciplined for saying the wrong thing?"

That's the one, yes. I hope you understand that we have a long-standing relationship with the (cough)mas holiday --

"Like the relationship between a sucker fish and a whale? Only the fish isn't really interested in whether the whale exists or not, only that it doesn't fall off and die."

Sucker fish, remora, intestinal parasite -- we don't have an approved aquatic metaphor for the relationship. But that's not the point. We prefer the term "festive season."

Which is a euphemism for Christmas, of course.

Yes. And "Happy Euphemism" is acceptable on store property. You must understand that this is not about Christmas, but about the holiday season, which encompasses many beliefs.

Hence the trees, the lights, the berries, the Santa costumes, the Nutcracker statues, the Nat King Cole music on the speakers, the poinsettias, and other symbols of Hinduism. Come on! It's Christmas!

(Hat tip: Instapundit)

It's worth reading in full, as usual with Lileks.