Philly Wins!

Fine, so it's not a major league. It's still a title, and right now, it's the highest level of hockey that exists. We takes what we can get...

The dominant color was Phantoms purple rather than the orange and black of the Flyers. The Cup hoisted was the Calder, not the Stanley. The cheering was more high-pitched than a typical Flyers crowd, what with all the kids.

Yet the scene was more than enough to thrill the 20,103 who jammed into the Wachovia Center, forming the largest crowd in American Hockey League playoff history and the arena's fourth-largest hockey crowd.

"Philly loves a champion," said Phantoms coach John Stevens, standing in a corner of a joyous locker room.

Yes, Philly has a champion in professional sports.

Jon Sim, who played a spare role for Dallas when the Stars won the Stanley Cup under current Flyers coach Ken Hitchcock in 1999, and Patrick Sharp each scored two goals while goalie Antero Niittymaki continued his masterful play to lead the Phantoms to a 5-2 win over the Chicago Wolves, completing a four-game sweep of the best-of-seven Calder Cup Finals.

Niittymaki, who made 28 saves and allowed only four goals during the series - three on power plays - won the Jack Butterfield Trophy as playoff MVP. By the time Chicago's Steve Maltais finally scored on the Finn early in the third period, the Phantoms already had both hands wrapped around the symbol of AHL supremacy.

"I think we played great defense the whole series, and I think we were the better team," Niittymaki said.

The Phantoms turned the third period into a prolonged coronation after pumping four goals into the Wolves' net during the second period.

The Calder Cup championship was the second in the nine-year history of the Phantoms, who also won it in 1998, when Stevens was team captain. Coincidentally, they also won that Cup on June 10.

Maybe, just maybe, this breaks the ice. Maybe the Phillies keep their streak going and ride it to a surprise title. Maybe Mo Cheeks breathes life into the Sixers. Maybe the Flyers, so close before the lockout to a title, take the final step with the injection of youth from the champion Phantoms. And maybe next year in Detroit, we're holding aloft the Vince Lombardi Trophy for the first time and celebrating the title that means the most to us.

For now, thanks to the Phantoms. Maybe we're not totally cursed.

Piss On You

Gateway Pundit notes that the mainstream media seems less willing to discuss important symbols of American society being desecrated...

It is interesting how the news media today will jump on a story if it denigrates our military or our country. The media may get their facts from an anonymous source and rush to print it in a major newspaper or weekly magazine. The story may turn out to be inaccurate. The original accuser may even retract his accusations. But, the damage is already done and our media moves on to their next anonymous sourced Anti-American story.

Yet, here tonight there is actual footage of Muslims burning, spitting on, and making urinals out off our American Flag. And, as US citizens we are supposed to get immuned to a lot of this. Many people believe that we even deserve this! We constantly see Muslims spit on and burn effigies of our president, threaten our country with the words (in English) on their posters, spit on the symbols of our nation, and now today, piss on our flag and our president!

Perhaps this is another example of the soft bigotry of low expectations. American apparently denigrate the Qu'ran, the press deems it offensive enough to report and riots break out in Muslim countries, some violent, followed by revelations that the reports were inaccurate, followed by a report that the acts of desceration were less severe than one thought, followed by more protests (though thankfully not violent in this case). Yet it's apparently not worthy to note that the violent riots and counter-protests feature people actively and openly buring the American flag and pissing on it. We don't expect "those people" to live up to standards as high as our own -- or anywhere close to them.

Yes, I know that our military should be held to a higher standard than idiot street protestors. But if American citizens decided to hold a rally where the burned the pictures of imams along with copis of the Qu'ran, while also having children piss on the holy book of Allah... well, I'm guessing the mainstream media might not react with a yawn. Maybe they're just afraid for their safety -- after all, radical religion defilers have been threatening those who publicize their actions to denigrate the American flag.

Apparently these guys lack the courage of college kids who willingly show themselves on camera burning the flag, since they want to preserve anonymity. Then again, maybe they're just planning to run for President someday.

Someone's Tax Dollars At Work

The Kansas Redhead used to live in Denver. Maybe he moved after seeing how they spend tax dollars...

Denver has hired a local marketing firm to reshape the public's image of the homeless - from one of a bedraggled panhandler to an image reflecting the growing number of women, children and families.

The Denver Commission to End Homelessness awarded a $60,000 contract to political consultant Eric Sondermann.

The move comes as the commission begins to implement Mayor John Hickenlooper's plan to raise money and resources needed to end homelessness within 10 years.

"We want to do a professional communication job so people have a clear understanding of what we're doing and what it will take to change the lives of the people who are homeless," said Deborah Ortega, executive director of the commission. "Part of our communication is to help people understand that these efforts will make a difference, but it takes the resources to change people's lives."

(hat tip: Best of the Web) Eric Sondermann should be laughing all the way to the bank. He convinced the city fathers that the problem for the homeless is that they have an image problem, and a marketing campaign will fix everything.

I wonder if next year a consultant will come in and suggest downsizing the homeless population.

The Sith Comments

I had my own points about Revenge of the Sith. But Lileks is far more entertaining that I could ever hope to be.

With that being said, here are my main questions... and don't read it if you don't want to ruin the movie.

1. At the end of Ep III, the Death Star's getting built while Luke and Leia are infants. Yet it's not complete until the time the twins are at least 16, if not older. I keep thinking the Imperials were dealing with horrific union labor problems of some sort, but I'm thinking any halfway decent management with the resources of the Emporer could have gotten the damn thing built quicker. What is this, the Big Dig?

2. I think I finally understand why the stormtrooper clones, buttkickers that they are in Eps II and III (killing off Jedi knights is pretty damn tough any time), turn into such completely inaccurate wimps by the time we're ten minutes into Ep IV. It must be that each generation of clones is less perfect than the last one. I'm surprised the storm troopers can still walk by the time we hit Episode VI, let alone get beat down by Ewoks.

3. Can we get an agreement from Lucas that if Episodes VII, VIII and IX ever appear, he'll let anyone else write dialogue?

4. Obi-Wan leaves Anakin to die, but doesn't kill him, and it actually fits with the story somewhat. He's a Jedi, and he won't kill a helpless rival, even a Sith Lord.

5. The end of the movie was fabulous beyond words -- the last 40 minutes made up for everything we suffered through in Attack of the Clones. With that being said, was it too much to ask to watch Chewie kick a little more butt?

6. The more I watch these movies, the more I appreciate the subtlety, even if it's unintended. In Revenge of the Sith, Palpatine manipulates Anakin brilliantly, by playing on his fear and his ego like the Dark Lord that he is. Meanwhile, Yoda's busy telling Anakin that he needs to embrace the death of those whom he cares about as a good thing. Perhaps it's true, but it strikes you as callous and unfeeling -- a touch arrogant, even for Yoda.

By the time we reach Empire, Yoda's logical advice to Luke that he sacrifice Han and Leia to avoid the Emporer's trap echoes his long-ago statement to Anakin. Yet while it is made just as bluntly, it carries with it far more compassion than what he says to Anakin. He does not agree with Luke's decision to go to Cloud City -- but he begs the boy to be mindful of his teachings, and does not casually dismiss his feelings for his friends. Meanwhile, in Return of the Jedi, Palpatine arrogantly assumes he can turn Luke in one encounter. Luke barely suffers anything close to the temptation his father did. If he had... well, stories like this don't end that way.

7. If there's a political message here, it's beyond me. Lucas' dialogue is too stilted to convey a political message. It's like a John Kerry speech.

8. You can make an argument that R2-D2 is the greatest hero in the entire set of movies. Seriously. And I'm still trying to understand the gratuitous reference to Qui-Gonn at the end of Sith. Maybe Neeson refused to do a cameo or something. And no Boba Fett? C'mon.

9. By the way, the actual turn of Anakin was a little disappointing. I wouldn't say it was too sudden, but it was too complete too quickly.

10. The most important characters in the entire story are one who barely appears and who didn't appear in these three movies at all. First, there's Owen Lars. Anakin lacks a father figure -- Qui-Gonn's death robbed him of the closest equivalent until Palpatine filled the role. Obi-Wan is too close to him in age. But Luke is raised by his aunt and uncle, who raise him as they would their son. Having a mom and dad around is pretty important.

And the same is true of having friends. The most important character in the original trilogy is Han Solo. Screw the swashbuckling rogue stuff (which would have been nice to have around). This set of movies proves it. Anakin doesn't have a true peer who is his friend -- Obi-Won is always a mentor to him, no matter how warm their feelings for one another. There is no one whom he trusts to counsel him, save the woman he loves -- and his love for her leaves him willing to commit evil acts for her benefit.

Meanwhile, Luke has a buddy, rather than a mentor. Han is a friend who willingly risks his life to save Luke, and that sacrifice cements their friendship. That friendship is what compels Luke head to Cloud City and Tatooine, but it also provides him with self-esteem and strength Anakin never had. Anakin always had to save his own butt and those of the people he cared for. Not so for luke -- han's got his back.

According to Vader, we don't understand the power of the Dark Side. Maybe the Emporer didn't understand the power of fatherhood and friendship.

May the Force be with you.

I Hear A Buzzing Sound...

The Lord of Truth is always on the scene with a good bee story...

Beekeepers plan to remove about 20,000 bees from Eric and Jacque Scholl's home in the historic Swan Lake neighborhood.

The Scholls called for professional help after their 3-year-old son, Nicholas, was stung.

Beekeepers Bruce and Joyce Caldwell found several hives under the floor of the second story of the Scholls' house. The bee combs under the floor were about 6 inches thick and extended several feet. They first noticed the bees two years ago.

A modified vacuum cleaner will be used to suck the bees out through a length of tube and deposit them in a sealed container. The bees will be taken to an apiary, where their honey will be harvested.

I'm guessing the property value might go down a bit.

Simply Outrageous

It's been 1368 days (by my count) since the horrific morning of September 11, 2001. It's clear that many lessons from that day have been ignored, by people of every stripe. But it's appalling when we confront the idea that the memorial site that will likely exist as a monument to the idea that the attack was somehow our fault. Debra Burlingame's wonderful editorial in the Wall Street Journal Wednesday tipped off America, including loyal reader RB, who tipped us to the article.

Richard Teofel's weak response won't do. As Jeff Jacoby notes, there are plenty of people who find the idea of the International Freedom Center at the memorial site disgusting beyond belief...

But we most surely agree about this. We will not tolerate seeing the construction of a Why They Hate Us Pavillion, a Selective Sin Center at the World Trade Center.

That's about right. I don't think there's much to add, except to hope that the IFC gets re-located.

Somebody E-mail Chuck Rangel a Link to My Blog

It's clear that Chuck Rangel needs to read my blog...

Top House Democrat Charles Rangel complained on Monday that the Bush administration's decision to concoct a "fraudulent" war in Iraq was as bad as "the Holocaust."

"It's the biggest fraud ever committed on the people of this country," Rangel told WWRL Radio's Steve Malzberg and Karen Hunter. "This is just as bad as six million Jews being killed. The whole world knew it and they were quiet about it, because it wasn't their ox that was being gored."

(hat tip: Instapundit and Chrenkoff) I know I only posted this a few hours ago, but I feel prescient...

The word "gulag" is politically loaded. It has a meaning. To a lesser extent, the same is true with "disenfranchised" -- I tend to think of African-Americans in the South before the civil rights movement.

And the same is true with the word "atrocities" -- the Holocaust, the Khmer Rouge and Rwanda come to mind. Using those words out of context diminishes the point you're trying to make, as well as what really happened in those instances.

But gulag is far worse -- it would be like Kerry using "Holocaust" instead of atrocity.

Maybe Chuck does read my blog, and just wanted to prove my point. Awful nice of him, don't you think?

Woo-Hoo!

Sometimes, a headline makes you stop and smile...

Get ready to toast your Flaming Moes to some excellent news.

The Simpsons movie is off the drawing board and in preproduction.

"You know what? We've just done the table read for The Simpsons movie, so although we've been promoting that we're going to do it, now we're actually doing it and are in production," Nancy Cartwright, who gives voice to Bart Simpson, told BBC Radio 1 this week.

Cartwright, in London doing publicity for her one-woman show, My Life as a Ten-Year-Old Boy, indicated that the movie is still in the preliminary script development stage and it will take at least two years before it's fully animated and ready for release.

"I don't know the name of it, and I can't go into details about it, and we'll just have to see how it goes, but I think it's going to be great and the fans are going to dig it," she added.

Producers had always indicated that the movie would likely debut after the TV show ran its course. But with the show continuing to perform well, averaging about 10 million viewers last season, the Simpsons brain trust decided to move forward now, according to a rep for 20th Century Fox, which will distribute the Simpsons film.

I don't know whether it could live up to expectations (especially since I will have absurdly high expectations). Perhaps this sums up my expectations for the movie...

Bart: "This isn't bad."
Homer: (incredulous) "Isn't bad? Tell me one thing mankind has ever done mankind's that's any better?"
Lisa: "The Renaissance?"
Homer: "This is better."

Then again, the Renaissance is overrated anyway.

Why Words Matter

Last year, in the lead up to the presidential election, I debated the merits of the candidates offered by the two major parties with friends who found both of them wanting, and blamed the parties for the mediocre choices they had. I'm not here to discuss the merits of their position, or my response, so much as I am the rhetoric we ended up using. At least one, if not both, utilized the word "disenfranchised" to describe their feelings.

Last year, during the same election, John Kerry was haunted by his testimony before Congress over 30 years ago. Again, forget whether the focus on these comments was appropriate for a moment. During his statements, he referred to "atrocities" committed by his fellow soldiers in Vietnam.

Now, read today's column by Howard Kurtz in the Washington Post...

When Amnesty International's secretary general, Irene Khan, described Guantanamo as "the gulag of our times," her group got plenty of attention, including a strong response from President Bush. "Absurd," he said, dismissing the group's report as relying on charges from "people who hate America."

The substantive debate over the conditions at Gitmo and elsewhere, the treatment of the Koran and the use of interrogations techniques that approach torture is an important one to have, for it shows that Americans are willing to confront flaws in our system. But now the argument seems to be about an inflammatory word that conjures up a very different political system.

In short, if you're going to toss a loaded grenade of a word like gulag, you'd better be able to back it up.

Which is why the "Fox News Sunday" interview of Amnesty's U.S. chief, William Schulz, was quite revealing.

CHRIS WALLACE: Mr. Schulz, the Soviet gulag was a system of slave labor camps that went on for more than 30 years. More than 1.6 million deaths were documented. Whatever has happened at Guantanamo, do you stand by the comparison to the Soviet gulag?

SCHULZ: Well, Chris, clearly this is not an exact or a literal analogy. And the secretary general has acknowledged that. There's no question. . . . In size and in duration, there are not similarities between U.S. detention facilities and the gulag. People are not being starved in those facilities. They're not being subjected to forced labor. But there are some similarities. The United States is maintaining an archipelago of prisons around the world, many of them secret prisons into which people are being literally disappeared -- held in indefinite incommunicado detention without access to lawyers or a judicial system or to their families. And in some cases, at least, we know that they are being mistreated, abused, tortured and even killed. . . .

WALLACE: Is it possible, sir, that by excessive rhetoric or by your political links, that you have hurt, not helped, your cause?

SCHULZ: Chris, I don't think I'd be on this station, on this program today with you if Amnesty hadn't said what it said and President Bush and his colleagues haven't responded as they did. If I had come to you two weeks ago and said, "Chris, I'd like to go on FOX with you just to talk about U.S. detention policies at Guantanamo and elsewhere," I suspect you wouldn't have given me an invitation.

WALLACE: So you're saying if you make irresponsible charges, that's good for the cause?

SCHULZ: I don't believe that they're irresponsible.

Excuse me, but did Schulz say that it's okay to unleash words like "gulag," even if it's not an "exact or literal analogy," because it gets him booked on Fox News? Is that the new standard? Yes, Chris, I called the president a war criminal because it was the only way I could get on Hardball?

As Kurtz goes on to note, it's rare when both the Washington Post and the Washington Times opt to run editorials supporting the same position, but they did here. And when Andrew Sullivan, who spends most of his time ringing alarm bells about America's use of questionable interrogation techniques and detention practices during the War on Terror, attacks Amnesty for this "moral idiocy", you know Amnesty has thrown its good name under the bus for political reasons.

The word "gulag" is politically loaded. It has a meaning. To a lesser extent, the same is true with "disenfranchised" -- I tend to think of African-Americans in the South before the civil rights movement.

And the same is true with the word "atrocities" -- the Holocaust, the Khmer Rouge and Rwanda come to mind. Using those words out of context diminishes the point you're trying to make, as well as what really happened in those instances.

But gulag is far worse -- it would be like Kerry using "Holocaust" instead of atrocity. Anne Applebaum lays it in the Post...

Amnesty, by misusing language, by discarding its former neutrality, and by handing the administration an easy way to brush off "ridiculous" accusations, also deprives itself of what should be its best ally. The United States, as the world's largest and most powerful democracy, remains, for all its flaws, the world's best hope for the promotion of human rights. If Amnesty still believes in its stated mission, its leaders should push American democratic institutions to influence U.S. policy for the good of the world, and not attack the American government for the satisfaction of their own political faction.

That sums it up nicely. I'm guessing Amnesty's donations from America-haters will take off from the publicity this generates. But the hit to their credibility will last much longer than the money.

I Thought They Didn't Work That Part Of Pennsylvania Avenue

Read the caption closely. I know, it was supposed to read White House. But I'm guessing MSNBC's Norah O'Donnell is questioning the graphics people about whether they've been making judgments her personal life. (hat tip: The Corner)

Toilet Equality Comes to Gotham

The Lord of Truth tells us the latest stupid idea from New York's hyper-busybody mayor...

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is trying to cut down long lines at women’s restrooms.

He has signed a law which requires most public places to have two women’s toilets for every one toilet for men.

The law has been nicknamed the “potty parity” legislation.

It covers public arenas, concert halls, auditoriums and any new buildings or buildings that undergo renovation.

I engaged a fun debate on this issue, in that I opposed Bloomberg's idiotic anti-smoking legislation as well, with little support. I'll agree that this is even dumber, but they're both stupid nanny-state laws that have no business being imposed on private industry.

Just a Good Ole' Boys...

Loyal reader KS tells us that we missed out on one of our dream jobs...

Country Music Television has selected its first "vice president" for the Dukes of Hazzard Institute. The first task for the New York-based executive: Upgrade the Institute's new facilities.

In other words, get cable and a new TV set for his apartment.

Yes, Christopher Nelson's new job, which comes with a $100,000 salary and a one-year contract, will be to watch reruns of "The Dukes of Hazzard" weeknights on the Country Music Television cable channel and write blog postings for the network's Web site.

The contract does not include vacation time.

"For $100,000 he'd better watch that show every night," said James Hitchcock, CMT's vice president for marketing.

Nelson's appointment will be officially announced Saturday at DukesFest in Bristol, Tenn. Having moved to New York from Austin, Tex., about eight months ago, Nelson was most recently working as a part-time temporary administrative assistant while trying to advance a career as a writer and musician.

"This job will change my life," said Nelson.

Nelson applied for the job along with almost 2,000 others in late February, shortly after an ad for the position was placed in several communication industry publications.

A printable job application was made available on Country Music Television's Web site. The application asked no questions about prior work experience or education.

But it did ask, "If you, Bo, Luke and Daisy took off in the General Lee, what would happen next?"

That answer's easy. Bo and Luke would exit the car immediately. The rest of what happens... well, let's just say network TV would need to carry it after 10 PM.

The World Gets More Connected

In-flight Wi-Fi? Cool idea. Blogging from 30,000 feet would kick ass...

United Airlines plans to announce today that it is the first domestic airline to receive approval from regulators to install wireless Internet networks on its planes.

United passengers will not be able to take advantage of the service just yet. The airline is still at least a year away from having its in-flight Wi-Fi service up and running. When it does, sometime in mid- to late 2006, passengers will be able to check e-mail, send instant messages and surf the Web at 30,000 feet.

Similar services are already available on international flights operated by Lufthansa and Japan Airlines, among other carriers Wi-Fi is also available in terminals across the country. Many airports, like LaGuardia in New York, charge a flat daily rate to use a wireless Internet connection, while JetBlue Airways offers free Wi-Fi at some of its gates.

Instapundit, who pointed me to this story, notes an interesting e-mail that points out how this might have been helpful on 9/11, allowing passengers on the second plane to find out what happened to the first and pull a Flight 93 rebellion. A good point, and one which further levels the playing field.

Scariest Story of the Day

If this doesn't scare you, it should. Somewhere, there should be a law that says men carrying chain saws stained with blood need not be admitted into the country...

On April 25, Gregory Despres arrived at the U.S.-Canadian border crossing at Calais, Maine, carrying a homemade sword, a hatchet, a knife, brass knuckles and a chain saw stained with what appeared to be blood. U.S. customs agents confiscated the weapons and fingerprinted Despres.

Then they let him into the United States.

The following day, a gruesome scene was discovered in Despres' hometown of Minto, New Brunswick: The decapitated body of a 74-year-old country musician named Frederick Fulton was found on his kitchen floor. The man's head was in a pillow case under a kitchen table. His common-law wife was discovered stabbed to death in a bedroom.

Despres, 22, immediately became a suspect because of a history of violence between him and his neighbors, and he was arrested April 27 after police in Massachusetts saw him wandering down a highway in a sweat shirt with red and brown stains. He is now in jail in Massachusetts on murder charges, awaiting an extradition hearing next month.

Somewhere, I picture Osama in a cave, laughing as he reads this on his wireless connection while sipping his Starbucks latte. Of course, I also picture him as suffering from that skin-eating bacteria, but that's probably just irrational.

The John Kerry Post of the Day

My latest discovery about my favorite cheese-eating surrendermonkey-looking Ketchup King cum former Presidential candidate:

Plenty of the Ketchup King's supporters derided President Bush as stupid, and held up his apparently mediocre track record in college as proof. Perhaps they should have checked John-Boy's grades as well...

Sen. John F. Kerry's grade average at Yale University was virtually identical to President Bush's record there, despite repeated portrayals of Kerry as the more intellectual candidate during the 2004 presidential campaign.

Kerry had a cumulative average of 76 and got four Ds his freshman year - in geology, two history courses and political science, The Boston Globe reported Tuesday.

His grades improved with time, and he averaged an 81 his senior year and earned an 89 _ his highest grade _ in political science as a senior.

...In 1999, The New Yorker magazine published a transcript showing Bush had a cumulative grade average of 77 his first three years at Yale, and a similar average under a non-numerical rating system his senior year.

Bush's highest grade at Yale was an 88 in anthropology, history and philosophy. He received one D in his four years, a 69 in astronomy, and improved his grades after his freshman year, the transcript showed.

(hat tip: Ankle Biting Pundits) I'm only jealous of Bush for being under a "non-numerical rating system" his senior year. Obviously, I'm not impressed by either guy's grades -- it's not like Yale is Harvard or anything.

What Annoying Song Is Stuck in My Head Today?

If I need to suffer with a song stuck in my head, why shouldn't you have to do the same? Sometimes they're good, most times they're bad... but no matter what, they make you suffer. So I like to share the suffering whenever it happens.

It happened again. The 80's station on XM did it to me again. Just flipping it on for a few minutes, and I was transported back to a song that always remained locked in my brain for a week back then, and does the same today. And as per usual from the 80's, it's another one-hit wonder. As if you were shocked.

Here's Corey Hart...

I wear my sunglasses at night
so I can
so I can
Watch you weave then breath your story lines.
And I wear my sunglasses at night
so I can
so I can
Keep track of the visions in my eyes.
While she's deceiving me
it cuts my security.
Has she got control of me? - I turn to her and say:
Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades
oh no.
Don't masquerade with the guy in shades
oh no
I can't believe it!
You got it made with the guy in shades
oh no.
And I wear my sunglasses at night
so I can
so i can
Forget my name while you collect your claim
And I wear my sunglasses at night
so I can.
so I can.
See the light that's right before my eyes.
While she's deceiving me she cuts my security
She gots control of me
I turn to her and say
. . .
Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades
oh no.
Don't masquerade with the guy in shades
oh no
I can't believe it!
Don't be afraid of the guy in shades
oh no
it can't escape you

cause you got it made with the guy in shades
oh no.
I said: I wear my sunglasses at night.
I wear my sunglasses at night
I wear my sunglasses at night.
I'll say it to you now: I wear my sunglasses at night

I wear my sunglasses at night
I wear my sunglasses at night.
I cry to you: I wear my sunglasses at night. I wear my sunglasses at night

You're welcome.

Next Time, Try Urinating on Newsweek

Lileks summarizes the Newsweek-Koran imbroglio (hat tip: Instapundit)...

The latest example of the US Army’s Koran Humiliation Initiative has that headline-grabbing word: URINE. You’d think Private Anderson swaggered over, unholstered Private Johnson and let loose a pounding stream of tangy intentional desecration on the book as it was clutched to the sobbing breast of the terrorist. (Sorry, detainee.) Of course, what really happened was slightly less horrible; someone took a leak outside the cells, and the gentle Caribbean breeze carried a jot of pee through a ventilation grill, where it lit upon the Koran.

As the WaPo story notes: “The Sergeant of the guard . . . ensure the detainee received a fresh uniform and a new Qu’ran.”

Life in the Gulag of our times. Bastards probably didn’t take all the pins out of the uniform. As for the allegation of flushing, the Pentagon inquiry “determined that no such incident took place. The probe did find, however –“

And here we get to the pith of the gist: Newsweek’s allegations were fake but accurate. “The probe did find, however that rumors of such an event swirled around the facility in the summer of 2002 after a detainee dropped his Qu’ran on the floor and other detainees blamed that on U.S. guards.”

Well, then. They made him drop it! Special Jew Mind Beams at work, no doubt.

...Don't get me wrong. I want us to do the right thing. I don't think there should be a policy that permits interrogators to treat the Qur'an like it was, oh, a Bible discovered in the Saudi airport customs line. But when it comes to the revelations of these Gitmo tales, I cannot care as much as they would like me to care. I cannot. Not to say we should treat the Qur’an with casual disrespect. But if an infidel touches the book with the wrong hand and people react like a two-year-old whose peas are touching the mashed potatoes, well, I understand why this matters, but when measured against the sins of headchoppery and carbombs, it pales to an evanescent translucence. Odd how the story isn’t about the rules and the precautions and the spine-cracking efforts to bend over backwards to make sure infidels get out the tongs when approaching the sacred book of the terrori – sorry, the detainees - Sorry, the murderous gynophobic gay-hating fundamentalist theocratic cultural imperialists. No, the story is the infinitesimal number of times in which the rules were breached over the course of years. It’s like doing a story about Wal-Mart’s employment practices, and following a story about forced overtime with an expose on expired non-dairy creamers in the breakroom. By hammering the tale for three weeks the MSM manages to dilute the impact of the beloved Abu Grabass scandal; pyramidal prisoners, wafting pee – all the same, all front page news. Of course, it’s all a seamless whole if your intention is to remind people of the three basic preconceptions of reporting on a war conducted by anyone whose initials aren’t JFK: the Pentagon lies, the troops are dullards and brutes, and Nixon is a criminal.

If Al Qaeda blew up a Bible depository in Malaysia tomorrow, it would be page A-16. If forty-six were killed in riots in Pakistan because of a rumor that US forces had pantomimed “The Satanic Verses” in a North Carolina PX, it would be on page A-12. When they’re nuts, it’s not news. When we’re found guilty of wind-assisted desecration, it’s A-1. You may draw your own conclusions from that.

Hilarious, as always. Why this guy isn't writing for The Daily Show is beyond me.

Dammit, Where Was Our Exit Strategy?

Forget Vietnam. What great coverage of a real quagmire...

Sixty years after Paris was seized by the "Allies," and the beginning of the American occupation, France remains a failed nation, mired in political corruption and beset by vast pockets of Muslim extremism and anti-semitism, into which the gendarmerie fear to tread. The economy continues to struggle under economic policies driven by failed ideologies, and many of its best and brightest continue to flow out of the country, with only ex-dictators and their families, and hysterical movie stars willing to move there.

Sadly, history has born out the predictions of those who, in the spring of 1944, warned against invading. Many had pointed out what a poor prospect the region was for any kind of democracy, with its long history of belligerence and arrogance, and failed republics.

Noted WW II historian Robert Winthrop pointed out that the occupation got off on the wrong foot from the beginning, when the Americans freely allowed atrocities in the fall of Paris. "In the wake of all the violence and sex that the brutal 'Allies' condoned, it's not surprising that the resentment lives on six decades later."

You know, this actually explains a lot about France.

Seriously... it's been 61 years since D-Day. The courage it took for those soldiers to attack the fortified positions of the Germans at Normandy has rarely existed in the history of mankind, but it's to our nation's credit that we have consistently produced men and women of that caliber. Say a prayer for all those who lost their lives on behalf of our nation, as well as humanity, particularly on that day.

Dr. Demento Rides Again

That wacky Howard Dean, with his unique outreach methods, continues to bring more people into the Democratic Party...

National Democratic Chairman Howard Dean' name was defending another of his comments Friday after telling liberal activists a lot of Republicans "have never made an honest living in their lives."

Republicans called his Thursday comment "mudslinging." Some fellow Democrats expressed reservations over his choice of words, too, before Dean amplified his comments.

"The point I was making is clear: Republican policies have declared war on hardworking Americans," Dean said Friday. "I will continue to criticize Republican leaders and their policies, and the Democratic Party will continue to offer constructive alternatives."

The Democratic chairman made the initial comments about Republicans doing "an honest day's work" Thursday during a speech to a Washington conference sponsored by the Campaign for America's Future.

While discussing the hardship of working all day and then standing in line for eight hours to vote, Dean had said, "Well, Republicans, I guess, can do that because a lot of them have never made an honest living in their lives."

Republican spokeswoman Tracey Schmitt said Dean's comment shows his priority "is to generate mudslinging headlines."

Dean has made comments that stirred controversy before. A recent example occurred in May, when Dean said House Majority Leader Tom DeLay "ought to go back to Houston where he can serve his jail sentence."

The House ethics committee is investigating whether DeLay violated congressional rules by taking foreign trips paid for by lobbyists. The Texas Republican has not been charged with a crime, but Dean said later he would not apologize.

What's even better is the response other leading Democrats. John Edwards had this hysterical quote...

"The chairman of the DNC is not the spokesman for the party," Edwards said. "He's a voice. I don't agree with it."

Better yet, Joe Biden said the same thing. Somebody needs to check the job description for the Chairman of the DNC -- either Dean is a spokesperson for the party -- or he needs to start using a disclaimer before he says anything. Actually, the latter might be a good idea regardless.

Doing It For the Children

Adam Smith would probably be chuckling...

A Web-based casino that likes to bid on weird stuff - like paying parents to name their baby after the company - was the (in retrospect, predictable) winner of a Langhorne woman's online auction to sell ad space on her newborn.

So for the month of July, Michele Hutchison will clothe her second child, Devon, due to arrive via cesarean section Tuesday, in logoed baby togs provided by GoldenPalace.com. Company representatives have already PayPal'ed her $999 and discussed clothing styles, Hutchison said.

Hutchison and her husband, John, will get a supply of bibs, onesies and other stuff, and GoldenPalace.com will get another wave of publicity, and a likely spike in Web-page hits, like the one that followed previous publicity stunts, such as paying a Connecticut mom $15,000 to name her baby "GoldenPalace.com Benedetto." (She's known as Goldie.)

The company has also successfully bid $10,000 to buy the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich (surely you've heard of it) and bought advertising on a woman's cleavage, both offered on eBay.

Yesterday morning, meanwhile, with news reports of her eBay auction reaching Scotland and South Africa, Hutchison, 26, posted a second auction to extend her baby-as-billboard scheme into the month of August (with the added headline: "This auction is world famous!!!!"). The new auction ends June 10, three days after Hutchison expects to give birth to her already-revenue-generating progeny.

And by midday, GoldenPalace.com had put out a news release touting its "sponsorship" of the Hutchison infant, comparing it to companies sponsoring a young Tiger Woods and referring to itself as the "Internet casino-turned household name."

I wouldn't do it, and I'll openly say that I think the mother in question lacks a little bit in the character area. What was she going to do if her kid ended up wearing porn ads? But to each his own -- and to be fair, baby clothes are expensive as hell.

The Campaign Finance Reform Sham

The next time someone tells you that the movement for campaign-finance reform represented a groundswell of support from the masses, try reading this report by David Hogberg at the Capital Research Center (hat tip: Instapundit).

Thanks again, Senators McCain and Feingold. And thanks to my President for kowtowing to political pressure and signing that idiot law. It doesn't work, and it suppresses Constitutional rights, and the public wasn't clamoring for it. Just brilliant.

Try Not To Weep

Oh, man. Poor Saddam Hussein has self-esteem issues...

Saddam Hussein's morale has plummeted as the gravity of the charges he faces sinks in, according to the Iraqi judge who will oversee his trial.

The judge told a London-based Arab newspaper that the ousted president and some other former regime figures are facing possible punishments of life in prison or the death penalty.

The judge is quoted as saying Saddam "has suffered a collapse in his morale because he understands the extent of the charges against him."

I'll bet that picture of him in his skivvies didn't help, either.