100 Things About the Election, Part XII

The continuing series of things I noticed during and after Election Day that I considered important. In no particular order...

93. What's great is, these folks had this site up before the election began. The pre-emptive whining campaign -- yet another proud legacy for the Democratic Party.

94. Sports Ilustrated's Kostya Kennedy has one of the funniest ideas of the year -- nominating John Kerry for Sportsman of the Year. Doesn't this guy read Football Fans for Truth?

95. The last post reminds of the Swift Boat Veterans, and their immeasruable impact on the election. Their story deserved to be told -- what each person thought of it was an individual call. But what's important is that this story was told, dissected, reviewed and discussed. Some of their claims were proven true, while others had doubt cast on them. But the beautiful thing about free speech in a free market is that both sides get to tell their story, and these men deserved to tell their version of events just as much as John Kerry did.

One final word from Admiral Roy Hoffman of the Swift Boat Vets...

We are pleased with the fact that we were able to effectively bring attention to our issues and raise questions regarding Senator Kerry’s character, leadership ability and qualifications as a potential Commander in Chief. As we have stated since we formed, we believed that John Kerry’s actions in Vietnam, coupled with the reprehensible statements he made after he returned were serious and consequently made him unfit for command. The primary purpose of our organization was to provide a voice for the courageous and honorable veterans of Vietnam, more than 280 Swift Boat Vets, Coast Guardsmen and POWs who served their country with honor. Our national grassroots efforts produced donors in every state in the nation as we raised more than $26 million, with more than $7 million in online contributions. In addition, Swift Boat Veterans and former POW's visited dozens of states to take their message directly to the American people. We were the true embodiment of grassroots citizen action, complied fully with federal election law and had every right to participate in the public discussion of John Kerry's qualifications as Commander in Chief.

96. The Jib Jab boys now have their classics on DVD. Thanks for keeping things light, guys.

97. In case you were wondering, here's the Ohio count of provisional votes, as of today. Man, Kerry's losing by even more votes.

98. Hey, can someone get me the results of the CBS MemoGate investigation before the end of the year? CBS did fire a producer, but only for the mortal sin of interrupting a broadcast of CSI: New York.

99. Kerry has decided the real culprit for his loss if Osama bin Laden. Maybe if he gets elected in 2008 and captures him, Kerry can add this to the list of charges when Kerry gets tried.

100. You know, I will miss writing all those John Kerry Posts of the Day.

Truth be told, I have a blast with blogging, and politics is one of the best topics to blog about, because it's so worthy of the passion people inject into it. And Presidential elections have a sports-like feel to them today, because we know so much about them -- about electoral votes, chads, GOTV efforts, 527 organizations, etc. -- and feel like we get a chance to participate, either as fans of one side or another, or possibly as participants fascinated by the machinery of democracy. And for all the people turned off by partisan politics, you're missing the point -- this is a process run by humans, and as such includes all of the pathetic, petty, insane things we will do to win. That doesn't excuse it -- but the counter to people lying, cheating and stealing is telling the truth about them, and fighting their words with yours. So get involved, even if you're on the other side.

And if you are on the other side, good luck in the next election. In the end, we all live in this country together, and I hope your sense of misery lifts. I'll try to limit the gloating to online. If you're actually leaving the country over this... well, that's life. I'm not sorry, because I think my country is better off without people who can't handle a little adversity. But I'm sad that such people think their life is so terrible. Would I be down if my candidate had lost? Sure. Would I threaten to leave the country? Hey, where would I go? Even if the worst happened (Hillary Clinton) waking up in America is better than waking up anywhere else.

As for my fellow passionate Bush supporters -- we owe it to our fellow citizens to make sure the President pursues the best policies for our country, and to support him when he does (and fight him if backs away from them). Okay, let's enjoy the win -- but let's remember that it carries responsibility with it.

Finally, to all our troops, anywhere and everywhere, I hope that for all the screwups our country has, in our leadership, in our election process, in our partisan bickering and in our citizenry -- that we are worthy of you anyway. Thanks for everything, guys.

Damn You, Ebay!

The Lord of Truth lets us know about the latest item available on Ebay...

The Internet auction house eBay Inc. reversed itself Tuesday and is allowing bids for half of a 10-year-old grilled cheese sandwich that its owner says bears the image of the Virgin Mary.

Diana Duyser, of Hollywood, put the sandwich up for sale last week, drawing bids as high as $22,000 before eBay pulled the item Sunday night. The page was viewed almost 100,000 times before being taken down.

An e-mail Duyser received from eBay said the sandwich broke its policy, which "does not allow listings that are intended as jokes."

But Duyser, a work-from-home jewelry designer who has bought and sold items on eBay for two years, said the grilled cheese wasn't a joke.

The auction was back on Tuesday afternoon with a top bid of $5,100. The winning bidder also has to pay $9.95 for shipping. In mocking response, two similar items were later posted -- grilled cheese sandwiches bearing the images of the Virgin Mary's used gum and Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen.

Can I stamp a picture of the Virgin Mary into a calzone?

A Greek Tragedy

The Lord of Truth alerts us to a budding controversy triggered by Oliver Stone's new movie Alexander, which apparently has the Greek people somewhat aggrieved...

A group of Greek lawyers are threatening to sue Warner Bros. film studios and Oliver Stone, director of the widely anticipated film "Alexander," for suggesting Alexander the Great was bisexual.

The lawyers have already sent an extrajudicial note to the studio and director demanding they include a reference in the title credits saying his movie is a fictional tale and not based on official documents of the life of the Macedonian ruler.

"We are not saying that we are against gays but we are saying that the production company should make it clear to the audience that this film is pure fiction and not a true depiction of the life of Alexander," Yannis Varnakos, who spearheads the campaign by 25 lawyers, told Reuters on Friday.

Stone was quoted on the MSNBC.com Web Site as telling the upcoming edition of Playboy magazine that the film's depiction of Alexander could offend some.

"We go into his bisexuality. It may offend some people, but sexuality in those days was a different thing," he was quoted as saying.

...One of the greatest military leaders of all time, Alexander, who was never defeated in battle, conquered about 90 percent of the then-known world before his mysterious death at the age of 32, building an empire that stretched from the Mediterranean to Afghanistan.

Varnakaos said as Stone has the right to freely express himself, the audience should have the right to know.

"We cannot come out and say that (former U.S.) President John F. Kennedy was a shooting guard for the Los Angeles Lakers basketball team and so Warner cannot come out and say Alexander was gay," Varnakos said.

Guys, this is Oliver Stone. The audience knows it's pure fiction. I'm pretty sure that the cut scenes for the movie JFK have a scene where Kennedy is lining up at the 2-guard for the Lakers, while Lee Harvey Oswald coaches the Celtics and Wilt Chamberlain is a CIA operative. The new movie's just as historically accurate -- granted, having Alexander killed by a massive conspiracy involving Richard Nixon is a stretch, but records from that era are spotty at best.

The Best of Canadian Higher Education

The Minister of War shows us the best work to come out of Canada in years. And to think -- these are the people who don't want John Kerry supporters moving into their country.

The AFI Lists

I haven't taken enough time to check these out. AFI's continuing series "100 Years...100 Lists" is pretty cool in general, particularly the list of 100 heroes and villians.

But the movie quotes list -- this may be the capper. Okay, there are a few classics missing (nothing from Old School; totally missing the best lines from Ghostbusters!), but otherwise, some great weekend reading.

100 Things About The Election, Part XI

The continuing series of things I noticed during and after Election Day that I considered important. In no particular order...

84. Jim Geraghty at Kerry Spot did a fabulous job providing me and countless others with material throughout the election, and he's continuing to do so after taking a vacation following the election (now that was confidence about there being no repeat of 2000). Here he notes the continuing Democratic conspiracy theories about the election, and mentions the solid reporting of Bill Steigerwald of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, who debunked the tripe being put forth by uber-idiot Keith Olbermann, formerly a brilliant Sportscenter host and now a pompous blowhard with lower ratings than test patterns...

Olbermann, however, really made a Dan Rather of himself last week.

He never directly charged that Republicans stole the election or demanded that Karl Rove should be picked up for questioning by the U.N. But for 15 minutes on Monday, Olbermann pointed to a "small but blood-curdling group of reports of voting irregularities and possible fraud" from across the country, topped it with some vague partisan innuendo from Democrat Congressman John Conyers, and acted like he deserved a Peabody Award for Civic Journalism.

On Tuesday I checked out some of Olbermann's claims. Using a high-tech personal communication device professional journalists refer to as a "telephone," I called an elections bureau person in Cuyahoga County, Ohio (greater Cleveland), where, as Olbermann pointed out, 93,000 extra votes had been inexplicably cast Nov. 2.

It turns out the votes were "a computer anomaly" that didn't affect or reflect the official vote count. And those 18,472 votes Olbermann said were counted in Fairview Park, a Cleveland suburb that had only 13,342 registered voters? Absentee ballots from many precincts had been grouped together by the computer and credited to Fairview Park, where 8,421 voted.

But what about Florida, the Vote-Fraud State?

Olbermann had made a big sinister deal about 29 counties whose registered voters were predominantly Democrat "suddenly" voting "overwhelmingly for Mr. Bush." He slyly left the impression that massive vote-stealing could have been perpetrated by ballot tabulating companies like Diebold, whose bosses were known Bush allies.

I called Baker County, Fla., Olbermann's first example. Yes, twanged the cheery election lady, 69 percent of voters in her rural county on the Georgia border are registered Democrat. Yes, "Mr. Boosh" got 78 percent of the vote and trounced Kerry, 7,738 to 2,180.

This was nothing new or untoward, she said. Folks in Florida's Panhandle are conservative, especially on social and moral issues. They mostly register as Democrats and vote that way on local issues, but in national and state elections, they go Republican. Been doing so for years.

I heard the same explanation from election ladies in the tiny and large counties of Calhoun, Lafayette, Escambia, Highland and Liberty, where registered Democrats outnumber Republicans by as much as 9 to 1. Yet Bush beat Kerry in every one.

If they had cared, Olbermann and the producers of "Countdown" could have discovered these facts before they began flogging their sloppy Internet-spawned conspiracy Monday and Tueday nights. Non-Republican journalists on Salon.com and Slate.com. had no trouble explaining/debunking it. Nor did bloggers.

By Wednesday, Olbermann's fever had cooled. But he had abandoned the Florida conspiracy angle, explained Cleveland's oddities and mostly was yukking it up about a Unilect computer that ate 4,000 votes in North Carolina.

Still, he and his guest enabler from the grownup world of journalism, Jonathan Alter of Newsweek, were concerned about the wussiness of the news media. Why had no major print or electronic outlet pursued this shameful story?

I don't know, boys. Maybe it's because before they start making wild charges of "vote fraud," real journalists pick up a telephone.

O'Reilly could probably run a one-hour episode where he did nothing more than comb his hair, and still garner higher ratings than Olbermann. Maybe this explains why. Of course, Olbermann will probably get hired by 60 Minutes very soon.

85. Kerry had $15 million still in the bank??? What's he saving it for, hair care products?

86. Kerry Spot points us to this bit by Andrew Ian Dodge, which notes that Bush increased his share of votes among the following constiuencies: African-Americans, Whites, Hispanics, Married People, Unmarried People, Union Members, Gun Owners, Jews, Catholics, Republicans, Democrats, Men, Women, and anyone over 30. Well, at least Kerry... um... we'll think of something.

87. Seriously, these people need help.

Guess what? I feel no need to apologize to the rest of the world for anything. I live in the greatest country on Earth, and I won't apologize for that. We followed our system and elected our leader -- not their leader, our leader. Their opinions are their opinions. If they want to have input into who our leader is, stand in line to immigrate, get qualified for citizenship, become a citizen, register to vote, and then vote. My folks did that. So did a lot of other people.

If you're not a citizen, we don't owe an apology to you. I don't expect France or Germany or Russia to get down on their knees and beg for forgiveness for helping Saddam steal money from the corrupt Oil-for-Food program that was later used to finance terrorists, particularly the suicide bombers in the West Bank. Maybe they should be apologizing to Isreal. But I'm not going to hold my breath.

Back to the point. I am sick of the liberal mentality that leads idiots like this to conclude that they owe someone an apology because they or their country chose a different option than someone else wanted. That's a fact of life -- people disagree on things. You don't owe someone an apology for expressing your belief and making your choice. That does not visit an injury on the other party. I'm also guessing that at least half of the 57 million who voted with you don't feel the need to say sorry, so try not speak on their behalf either.

88. And speaking of help... the therapists are available. In Wisconsin and Florida, they're helping Kerry supporters to recover and get back to apologizing to the mailman for receiving mail, or whetever they do in real life. I think the "PEST" acronym for the syndrome pretty well describes these people.

89. This post at Kerry Spot summarizes some of the foot-stomping idiocy from the Left that I never got a chance to previously read. My personal favortie is this open letter to the Red Staes from the Blue States, possibly tongue -in-cheek, over at The Register...

With hard work and superb organization, you have triumphed over John Kerry and the forces of Blue-state paternalism. Congratulations. The multinational corporations that hold you in bondage remain free to profit off your sweat nearly tax free, while their overpaid senior execs continue to pay a pittance in personal income tax.

Your primary and secondary schools will continue to turn out third-rate pupils with limited opportunities, while you enjoy the satisfaction of making it on your own without health care when a catastrophic illness bankrupts your family.

Your agricultural universities will continue issuing Ph.D.s in football, and bogus Protestant Evangelical and Fundamentalist theology, and how to jerk off a bull safely. Your children will learn to borrow enough money to erect chicken houses so that they, like you, can take custody -- not possession, but custody -- of Tyson's chicks, feed them, rear them, assume losses from those that fail to thrive, and in the end earn just enough money to service their endless debt, and realize a profit of perhaps $12K a year. Your bank thanks you; Tyson thanks you; George W. Bush thanks you; and I thank you.

You can continue sending your sons to die in Iraq on a fool's errand. When you bury them, you can console yourselves with Bush's platitudes about their heroic mission to defend America from weapons of mass destruction.

You can savor the deficit spending that stimulates commerce today, but will cripple the US economy in ten or fifteen years' time when the bills come due with interest. Perhaps a Democrat will be in office at that time, who can be blamed for W's delayed economic fiasco.

You can continue believing, as Republican Party brainwashing has persuaded you, that we, your neighbors, are your enemies. You can believe that we have no morals; that we pimp out our teenage daughters for Internet porn; that we eat babies; that we are all gay; that we are cowards on the battlefield; and that we want to run your lives and give you AIDS.

Here's a clue: we are not your enemies; we are your countrymen. Your enemies are the greedy multinationals that the Republican Party bends over backwards to accommodate. Incidentally, most of them are based in Blue states, as are their Republican owners and major shareholders.

Here in the Blue States, Democrats and Republicans alike generate the lion's share of America's wealth, although it is you Reds who provide the lion's share of the stoop labor. You are our Mexicans, so to speak. We could not have accomplished the economic miracle that is America without your willing capitulation to a system that lies to you and fucks you over at every turn.

Look at economic output and educational achievement on a state-by-state basis: it's painfully evident that we Blues are immensely more productive and better educated than you Reds. We have lots more money. We live longer. We eat better. We work less. We fuck more. We do cocaine and smoke fine Canadian buds, not the homebrew crank and cheap Mexican headache reefer you guys are stuck with. We drink French wine and Stoli martinis, not Budweiser. Our children rarely bother us: we've got them on Ritalin and Prozac. Our teeth are straighter and whiter, our necks longer, and our fingernails cleaner. And many of us are the Republican elite who have just punked you.

It's good to be a Blue, regardless of which party you join.

Understandably, you resent us, so you've fabricated an imaginary measure of superiority: Christian "values." Yet you talk about values the way a pre-teen girl talks about "love" in fan letters to Ashton Kutcher. You recycle quasi-religious platitudes and received slogans. You know nothing of moral theology, a rigorous philosophical pursuit that hardly exists outside the Catholic Church and its elite universities. You make of the Bible what you will; you attend prayer meetings with other semi-literates, where you reinforce each other's sloppy understandings of the text, and combine them with half-digested bits of old-timey Hallmark-card "wisdom." And when you spout gibberish, you call it "speaking in tongues." You actually fancy that you're saints, you silly, narcissistic creatures.

Nevertheless, you are fellow Americans. The Blue Republican elite encouraged you to vote for George W Bush, because they quite simply own him, and they know that his administration will make policies that help them, even if hurt you. We Blue Democrats voted for John Kerry because we believed he would minister to your needs better than Bush. A President Kerry would have shared some of our wealth with you, assured your health care, raised the minimum wage, and checked the rapacious greed of the multinationals that hold you in thrall.

President Kerry would have helped us to help you, which is all that we ask. It pains us to see you in wage slavery. It pains us to see you so ignorant and uneducated, and so eager to place yourselves in bondage. Yes, we live better; but we wish you to live better too, even if it means sacrifice on our part.

What we wanted for you would have been far better than that which you, in your ignorant pride, demanded for yourselves. Oh, you defeated us all right, but only to your detriment.

Translation: You people are idiots, and we're your betters, and we know what's best for you. It's too bad you're too stupid to understand that we want to help you, and it's too bad that you allowed those evil Republicans and their industrialist supporters to warp and twist your simple little minds by using your pathetic ideas about values against you.

I really hope it was tongue-in-cheek. But why do I suspect there are idiots who believe in this philosophy?

90. At the beginning of the year, who would have thought that it might be Kofi Annan who's no longer in office, instead of Bush or Howard? Yet, the U.N.'s readying for a historic vote to dump Kofi. Maybe he can get a job with Movon.org.

91. I should have thought of this.

92. I'm guessing KISS won't be touring with Springsteen soon...

"In time of war, if you go through a bad neighborhood, I don't want a little French poodle, I want a rottweiler on my hands."

-- KISS frontman GENE SIMMONS, on why he voted for U.S. President GEORGE W. BUSH over JOHN KERRY.

Do the Democrats have any Rottweilers left?

The Fallujah Mosque Shooting

I won't jump into the fray on the Marine shooting issue because I simply don't know enough to make a conclusive statement. I will say that I'm going to give the kid Marine the benefit of the doubt, because he's the one over there, serving our country, and doing so in a situation that redefines stressful. As far as I can tell, he hasn't been charged with anything yet, and he may not be under the circumstances -- and even if he is, he's innocent until proven guilty (if we can observe that statement for the Scott Petersons of our world, we can defintiely do it for a Marine).

But there are some interesting stories worth reading around the blogosphere. Wretchard at the Belmont Club has a fabulous post on the whole thing (and a somewhat related and heartbreaking story here). As usual, Instapundit has some good links from military bloggers. One of his links hits a spot called Chapomatic, who makes an interesting observation...

This is an information war; just as Al-Jazeera didn’t play the Italian or CARE snuff film murders and nobody showed the pictures of the horror we stopped in Falluja, and just as the pornographic obsession with Abu Ghraib dominated media, this will become a way to weaken the American center of gravity of public support. This is a warfare tactic as surely as cryptography use or artillery employment.

This kind of warfighting will get uglier, by the way. These guys killed ours under the flag of truce; killed civilians; instead of killing, tortured and killed on video those civilians; mutilated and desecrated our aid workers; used neutral symbols as assets; anything to continue their slaughter. What we care about, they don’t.

...Finally, imagine the tough situation that kid was in. The way several people put it, it’s a case where "would you rather be judged by 12, or carried by 6?"

Sobering to say the least. As a final reality check, read this post at Powerline, which goes to the heart of the matter. Like I said, I'll wait until the evidence is in, but I'm planning to give this kid the maximum benefit of the doubt.

Meanwhile, North of the Border...

Okay, maybe the lack of hockey is driving them batty up in Canada. Check out this suggestion in the Toronto Star...

When U.S. President George W. Bush arrives in Ottawa — probably later this year — should he be welcomed? Or should he be charged with war crimes?

It's an interesting question. On the face of it, Bush seems a perfect candidate for prosecution under Canada's Crimes against Humanity and War Crimes Act.

This act was passed in 2000 to bring Canada's ineffectual laws in line with the rules of the new International Criminal Court. While never tested, it lays out sweeping categories under which a foreign leader like Bush could face arrest.

In particular, it holds that anyone who commits a war crime, even outside Canada, may be prosecuted by our courts. What is a war crime? According to the statute, it is any conduct defined as such by "customary international law" or by conventions that Canada has adopted.

War crimes also specifically include any breach of the 1949 Geneva Conventions, such as torture, degradation, wilfully depriving prisoners of war of their rights "to a fair and regular trial," launching attacks "in the knowledge that such attacks will cause incidental loss of life or injury to civilians" and deportation of persons from an area under occupation.

Outside of one well-publicized (and quickly squelched) attempt in Belgium, no one has tried to formally indict Bush. But both Oxfam International and the U.S. group Human Rights Watch have warned that some of the actions undertaken by the U.S. and its allies, particularly in Iraq, may fall under the war crime rubric.

The case for the prosecution looks quite promising. First, there is the fact of the Iraq war itself. After 1945, Allied tribunals in Nuremberg and Tokyo — in an astonishing precedent — ruled that states no longer had the unfettered right to invade other countries and that leaders who started such conflicts could be tried for waging illegal war.

Concurrently, the new United Nations outlawed all aggressive wars except those authorized by its Security Council.

Today, a strong case could be made that Bush violated the Nuremberg principles by invading Iraq. Indeed, U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan has already labelled that war illegal in terms of the U.N. Charter.

Second, there is the manner in which the U.S. conducted this war.

The mistreatment of prisoners at Iraq's Abu Ghraib prison is a clear contravention of the Geneva Accord. The U.S. is also deporting selected prisoners to camps outside of Iraq (another contravention). U.S. press reports also talk of shadowy prisons in Jordan run by the CIA, where suspects are routinely tortured. And the estimated civilian death toll of 100,000 may well contravene the Geneva Accords prohibition against the use of excessive force.

Canada's war crimes law specifically permits prosecution not only of those who carry out such crimes but of the military and political superiors who allow them to happen.

What has emerged since Abu Ghraib shows that officials at the highest levels of the Bush administration permitted and even encouraged the use of torture.

Given that Bush, as he likes to remind everyone, is the U.S. military's commander-in-chief, it is hard to argue he bears no responsibility.

Then there is Guantanamo Bay. The U.S. says detainees there do not fall under the Geneva accords. That's an old argument.

In 1946, Japanese defendants explained their mistreatment of prisoners of war by noting that their country had never signed any of the Geneva Conventions. The Japanese were convicted anyway.

Oddly enough, Canada may be one of the few places where someone like Bush could be brought to justice. Impeachment in the U.S. is most unlikely. And, at Bush's insistence, the new international criminal court has no jurisdiction over any American.

(hat tip: Opinion Journal)

It's reading crap like this that makes me wonder if the world might be a better place without the United Nations. Not to mention Canada.

Another Wonderful Use of the Information Superhighway

The Lord of Truth clues us into a Texas entrepreneur who's opted to become the first one to offer the latest impossible service from cyberspace...

Hunters soon may be able to sit at their computers and blast away at animals on a Texas ranch via the Internet, a prospect that has state wildlife officials up in arms.

A controversial Web site, http://www.live-shot.com, already offers target practice with a .22 caliber rifle and could soon let hunters shoot at deer, antelope and wild pigs, site creator John Underwood said on Tuesday.

Texas officials are not quite sure what to make of Underwood's Web site, but may tweak existing laws to make sure Internet hunting does not get out of hand.

"This is the first one I've seen," said Texas Parks and Wildlife Department wildlife director Mike Berger. "The current state statutes don't cover this sort of thing."

Underwood, an estimator for a San Antonio, Texas auto body shop, has invested $10,000 to build a platform for a rifle and camera that can be remotely aimed on his 330-acre southwest Texas ranch by anyone on the Internet anywhere in the world.

The idea came last year while viewing another Web site on which cameras posted in the wild are used to snap photos of animals.

"We were looking at a beautiful white-tail buck and my friend said 'If you just had a gun for that.' A little light bulb went off in my head," he said.

Internet hunting could be popular with disabled hunters unable to get out in the woods or distant hunters who cannot afford a trip to Texas, Underwood said.

Berger said state law only covers "regulated animals" such as native deer and birds and cannot prevent Underwood from offering Internet hunts of "unregulated" animals such as non-native deer that many ranchers have imported and wild pigs.

He has proposed a rule that will come up for public discussion in January that anyone hunting animals covered by state law must be physically on site when they shoot.

Berger expressed reservations about remote control hunting, but noted that humans have always adopted new technologies to hunt.

"First it was rocks and clubs, then we sharpened it and put it on a stick. Then there was the bow and arrow, black powder, smokeless power and optics," Berger said. "Maybe this is the next technological step out there."

I'm with the Lord on this -- allowing couch potatoes to hunt is bad for society. And I'm blaming Al Gore for the whole damn thing, since he invented the technology. Eco-hating jerk.

Another Poet Leaves Too Soon

The Kansas Redhead noted that while I had mentioned the passing of Nobel laureate Yasser Arafat, I had failed to note the passing of a far more influential figure from the world stage. Yes, O.D.B. has left us far too soon...

Revered, troubled and often outlandish rapper Ol' Dirty Bastard mysteriously collapsed and died yesterday at a Manhattan recording studio, police said.

The 35-year-old ODB, one of the founding members of the rap group Wu-Tang Clan, became ill and suffered breathing difficulties at about 4:40 p.m. inside 36 Records on West 34th Street.

One of his four friends in the studio called 911. Rescue workers arrived five minutes later, but were unable to revive the hip-hop star.

ODB, whose real name is Russell Jones, was declared dead a short time later.

Fellow Wu-Tang founder Ghostface Killah raced to the studio to grieve.

"I'm taking it hard," he said. "This ain't no joke, just like you lose your mother or your brother.

"That was my brother, my heart, my soul, my pride, my joy. I guess he's with the Father now. He's in good hands."

No one could say what killed the rapper, who spent time in drug rehab and served more than a year in prison for a 2001 drug arrest.

The New York Post gets special props for the headline "Dead Dirty Bastard."

Hmmm. 35 and he has a history of drug use. I think we can pass on the autopsy, doc.

The NFL Recap, Week Ten

I do these at work as part of my duties as Sports Czar, so why not share with the greater public?

Celebrate, D.C. football fans! Your team has won a title! There's even a parade this week!

What? Oh, we're not talking about the Redskins. We're talking about the sport the rest of the world calls football, which most Americans call soccer and I call a "hideously boring waste of my time." But if you're a D.C. sports fan, you should take what you can get. The D.C. United won a title this week, which is far more than the Redskins, a.k.a. the D.C. Divided, could manage this week.

In the exciting version of football, D.C. suffered another setback Sunday, losing to Cincinnati 17-10 in a game that didn't appear to be that close. We'd heap more scorn on the Skins, but we've heard pleas for mercy from folks here this week, who have pointed out that losing to Cincinnati is bad enough. They're probably right, although it was far from the most atrocious performance of the week. No, we'll give that to the Houston Texans, whose brief flirtation with contention ended with a thud in Indianapolis, where the Colts destroyed them by a 49-14 score. Colts QB Peyton Manning is now on track to shatter Dan Marino's single-season record for passing TDs, in a manner similar to Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds breaking baseball's single season home run record. Manning is on track for another MVP award, much like Bonds. And much like Bonds, he's on track not to win a title.

However, the Manning genes are so good that Giants coach Tom Coughlin has decided it's time for the Eli Manning Era to start in New York, after the Giants dropped their third straight by a 17-14 score to the Cardinals. Giants QB Kurt Warner lost his job, but now he'll get to hold the clipboard, although he might fumble that away as well. The Cardinals now stand at 4-5, one game out of first place, which is enough to make one wonder why the NFC West isn't immediately disqualified from the playoffs en masse. The co-leaders of the division, to the extent that anyone leads this sorry bunch, met in St. Louis on Sunday, where the Rams seized the division lead with a 23-12 win over the Seahawks. The Seahawks started the season 3-0 and were touted as Super Bowl contenders. Of course, no one specified if that was for this year or 2007.

Some might think that rookie QBs like the aforementioned Eli Manning only start for teams thinking of winning a title in 2007, but rookie QBs are currently 10-0 as starters this season. Leading the way is Pittsburgh wunderkind Ben Roethlisberger, who's won his first seven starts and has the Steelers atop the AFC North at 8-1 following a 24-10 whitewash of Cleveland. That's a whitewash of the team, not the city -- we know Roethlisberger is good, but it's asking a lot to have him clean the entire city of Cleveland; heck, that's like asking someone to clean Michael Moore's plates off the dinner table. The other rookie QB who's unbeaten is Chicago's Craig Krenzel (no, we're not joking) who's 3-0 after the Bears squeaked out a 19-17 win over theTitans, thanks to a safety in overtime. That's only the second NFL overtime game to ever end with a safety, but we're just thankful this ended. The game was uglier than a twelve-hour marathon of Mama's Family.

Two other games made it into overtime this weekend as well, and just like the Chicago game, they were tied at 17 entering the extra frame. Baltimore beat the Jets at the Meadowlands 20-17, after Jets backup QB Quincy Carter called a late timeout and screwed up the chance to win the game in regulation. Baltimore ended the game with Kordell Stewart at punter, which is far safer than having Kordell Stewart at QB. Meanwhile, Jacksonville started a backup QB and got better results, as David Garrard piloted the Jags to a 23-17 OT win over the Lions. Detroit QB Joey Harrington went 11-for-33, and was punished by being forced to watch twelve hours of Access Hollywood updates on the impending wedding of Star Jones.

Perhaps the entire Kansas City team should join him -- the Chiefs squandered another close game yesterday, turning the ball over repeatedly in a 27-20 loss to the Saints. The Chiefs are pro football's most disappointing team, even more so than the Redskins. At least the Chiefs had a track record of success in the last five years. Even when they started badly, everyone expected them to right the ship, much like Green Bay has done. The Packers won their fourth straight with 34-31 thriller over Minnesota, which rallied for two late touchdowns to tie it before Ryan Longwell of the Pack won it with a late field goal. The Vikings appear to have moved up their late-season swoon by a few weeks to avoid interfering with the holidays, as they have now dropped three in a row to fall into a first-place tie with the Pack.

Only two teams in the NFC have broken out from the pack. The surprise is Atlanta, which stands at 7-2 following a 24-14 stomping of the Bucs. The Falcons racked up 205 yards rushing on the Bucs and appear to be on track for their first division title in six seasons. They certainly aren't receiving a challenge from defending NFC South champion Carolina, which won for the first time in six weeks by beating a slightly more pathetic 49er team 37-27, in a game notable for absolutely nothing. The game was so boring that Carolina QB Jake Delohomme didn't know he'd broken his thumb until the next day.

Meanwhile , the other NFC stalwart is the Eagles, who steamrollered Dallas 49-21 in Dallas, showcasing a wild offensive show that produced two fifty-yard plus scores, a sixty-yard bomb by Donovan McNabb to Freddie Mitchell that is already picking up the ESPY for Play of the Year, and three TD celebrations by the irrepressible Terrell Owens. Dallas coach Bill Parcells was later rumored to be interested in the University of Florida coaching position. One guy who won't be leaving his job is New England coach Bill Belicheck, who helmed the Pats to a 29-6 win over Buffalo, the Patriots' 23rd win in 24 games. Buffalo QB Drew Bledsoe, a former Patriot, spent most of the game doing his best Mark Brunell impersonation, throwing for 76 yards as the Bills offense produced eight first downs and no points (the Bills' sole TD came on a punt return). Perhaps Bledsoe can start for Joe Gibbs next year.

What Annoying Song is Stuck in My Head Today?

If I need to suffer with a song stuck in my head, why shouldn't you have to do the same? Sometimes they're good, most times they're bad... but no matter what, they make you suffer. So I like to share the suffering whenever it happens.

Feel free to thank the Lord of Truth for doing this to all of us, by sending us this story. He had to know this would happen.

Without further ado... from the album 1984 -- which is my favorite album cover of all time -- Jump!

I get up,
And nothing gets me down
You got it tough
I've seen the toughest around
And I know,
Baby, just how you feel
You've got to roll with the punches
To get to what's real

Oh can't you see me standing here
I've got my back against the record machine
I ain't the worst that you've seen
Oh can't you see what I mean?

Might as well jump
Jump
Might as well jump
Go ahead, and jump
Jump
Go ahead, and jump

Ah-oh
Hey you
Who said that?
Baby how you been?
You say you don't know, you won't know
Until you begin

Well can't you see me standing here
I've got my back against the record machine
I ain't the worst that you've seen
Oh can't you see what I mean

Might as well jump
Jump
Go ahead, and jump
Might as well jump
Jump
Go ahead, and jump
JUMP

You're welcome.

Take That, Sammy Hagar!

The Lord of Truth checks in with an update on one of our favorite '80's front men... and for the record, Van Halen was about the same after he left...

Instead of screaming "Jump," David Lee Roth will be yelling "clear!" The former Van Halen frontman is taking up a new trade — paramedic.

Roth, 50, has been riding for several weeks with a New York ambulance crew in training to become a paramedic, The New York Post reported Tuesday.

"I have been on over 200 individual rides now," said Roth. "Not once has anyone recognized me, which is perfect for me."

The singer, who spent a decade with Van Halen before embarking on a solo career, except a collaboration with the band for two new songs on a greatest hits album, has been riding along with crews in the Bronx, Manhattan and Brooklyn several nights a week.

His training seems to be going well.

Several weeks ago, Roth saved the life of a heart attack victim in the Bronx by using a defibrillator on her.

Maybe he should have used the defibrillator on his career.

Stupid Lawsuit #1,456,789,223

There's something wrong with the world when this happens...

The Pentagon has agreed to warn military bases worldwide that they should not directly sponsor Boy Scout troops, partially resolving claims that the government has improperly supported a group that requires members to believe in God.

The settlement, announced Monday, came in a lawsuit filed by the American Civil Liberties Union of Illinois, which says American military units have sponsored hundreds of Boy Scout troops.

"If our Constitution's promise of religious liberty is to be a reality, the government should not be administering religious oaths or discriminating based on religious beliefs," said ACLU attorney Adam Schwartz.

The Pentagon said it has long had a rule against sponsorship of non-federal organizations and denied the rule had been violated. But it agreed to send a message to posts worldwide warning them not to sponsor Boy Scout troops or other such groups.

The rule does not prevent service members from leading Scout troops unofficially on their own time, and Scouts will still be able to hold meetings on areas of military bases where civilian organizations are allowed to hold events.

I understand that the ACLU serves a valuable function. I also understand that this lawsuit is a waste of everyone's time, not to mention taxpayer money. I especially despise the ACLU's stand regarding Second Amendment rights, which don't seem to qualify for defense by the ACLU.

My solution -- every time the ACLU brings a lawsuit that annoys more than 50% of Americans, their lawyers should be placed in stocks for one day and have rotten fruit tossed at them. If they complain, just let the lawyers know that it's not a terrible price to pay for freedom.

The Teaser

Apparently, there was a reason to watch the trailer for Monday Night Football...

The Cowboys weren't the only desperate prime-time players last night on ABC. In the opening of the Monday Night Football telecast, the star hussy of the network hit show Desperate Housewives, Nicollette Sheridan, was clad only in a white towel as she confronted a fully-uniformed Terrell Owens in the Eagles' locker room.

On the show, the statuesque blonde plays a serial divorcee named Edie Britt, whose romantic conquests keep the neighborhood buzzing. The character also had her house burned down by a jealous neighbor, Susan Mayer, played by Teri Hatcher.

TO: Hey.

NS: Hey there, Terrell...

TO: What are you doing here?

NS: My house burned down and I needed to take a long, hot shower. So where are you off to looking so pretty?

TO: Baby, it's Monday Night Football, game starts in 10 minutes...

NS: Oh, you and your little games... . I've got a game we can play...

TO: Hey, this is major. We've got [Bill] Parcells and the Cowboys... and Donovan [McNabb] needs me...

NS: What about my needs? What about Edie?

TO: Will you stop it... just tell me what's buried under that pool.

NS: You know I can't tell you that...

TO: Then I've got a game to play...

NS: Terrell, wait... (drops the towel)

TO: (smiling): Aww, hell, the team's going to have to win without me... (She jumps into his arms)

(Cut to Felicity Huffman and Teri Hatcher watching the scene on TV.)

TH: Oh, my God, who watches this trash?... Sex, lies, deception?

FH: And that woman... she's just so... desperate.

TH: I know what we should watch. (She picks up remote and changes the channel to Monday Night Football, which is playing its theme song.)

TH and FH together: Are you ready for some football?

Maybe that would have been the best way to stop T.O.

100 Things About the Election, Part X

The continuing series of things I noticed during and after Election Day that I considered important. In no particular order...

76. By the way, it's now up to 60 million folks who voted for Bush. JesusLand keeps getting bigger.

77. One aside... I'm just guessing here, but as an amusement park, even JesusLand would have cooler rides than Canada.

78. Kevin Drum has interesting piece about Red v. Blue and how we ended up with these colors. This confirms my memory of the entire U.S. being colored Blue in 1984 when Reagan whooped up on Mondale. Of course, the networks may have been warning us that Mondale was, as we suspected, a Communist (that's a joke... we think). Drum leaves hanging the question of whether the networks will change back in 2008 and screw up the burgeoning political T-shirt industry.

79. The likely contenders in 2008 for the Democrats: Hillary Clinton (shudder), John Edwards, Wesley Clark, John Kerry, Al Gore (sorry -- I just really enjoyed typing that), Howard Dean, Evan Bayh, Bill Richardson, Ed Rendell, Mark Warner, Joe Lieberman. Hey, folks in New Hampshire and Iowa need to forewarned.

80. And on the GOP side in 2008, the leading contenders: John McCain, Rudy Guiliani, Bill Frist, Bill Owens (my pick), Jeb Bush (he could always take Veep), Condaleeza Rice, Tim Pawlenty, Mark Sanford, Chuck Hagel (ugh), George Pataki (double ugh), Elizabeth Dole, Arnold Schwarzeneggar (once we discover he was actually born in Brooklyn).

81. Wow. How did I miss this? A near-shrine to Kerry put up by one of his ex-girlfriends? You know, this is a freaking goldmine. That being said, I think all men should agree that this is a bad idea.

82. This hasn't received near-enough commentary, but Kerry's selection John Edwards personified his campaign. He basically selected Fallout Boy on the theory that it would be the best political choice... and Edwards turned out to have ZERO impact. Okay, the trial lawyers handed over the AMEX cards ona silver platter, but was Kerry really having trouble raising money? What's hysterical is that Edwards openly campaigned for the friggin' post, yet seemingly had no clue what to do once he got on the ticket.

Now, I'm less impressed by John Edwards than most people. I despise populist claptrap, and Edwards reeks of it. The guy basically oozes old-school liberal Democratic populism from his pores. But it's also wrapped up in a nice-looking New Democrat exterior that supposedly makes the ladies swoon (I like to give women more credit than that. Then again, explain Ben Affleck). In the end, Edwards just looks like a complete phony to me -- of course, that's coming from a Philly guy. But I know a lot of Southerners who agree with this assessment -- they think he doesn't sound like a real Southerner, more like an actor on TV playing a Southerner.

But Kerry chose Edwards for the political impact that the choice would have, and it registered a big fat donut. Maybe that's the best political parties can hope for in selecting a Veep -- I've told friends that the first job of a VP candidate is similar to a doctor ("first, do no harm."). But political candidates should conceiveably aim for some tangible result when selecting a potential VP, and Kerry got nothing when Gephardt might have brought in Missouri or Vilsack might have cemented Iowa. Instead, he got a prettyboy trial lawyer who had trouble beating out Scott Peterson for name recognition.

Beyond this, I think the choice also left a lot of informed swing voters wondering whether Kerry was serious about this election. With all the Democratic hoopla in Boston regarding how serious they were about national security, they opted to select for the VP a one-term Senator from North Carolina who was a complete cipher on national security issues. At least Kerry had 20 years of experience in the Senate... okay, always voting the wrong way on every foreign policy initiative in the Cold War and the Gulf War, but at least he could have learned from his errors. I think Dick Cheney's line about "Senator Gone" hit home with a lot of folks.

In the end, John Edwards is not the reason John Kerry lost. But he's definitely not the person who made the race close. And I say this from the position of someone who'd hype Edwards to the moon for 2008, just to avoid the terror of Hillary Clinton having a shot at the White House.

83. Charles Krauthammer is one of my favorite columnists, and his decision to take on the prevailing wisdom on the "moral values" election is terrific. Analogizing things back to the 1994 Congressional takeover and the media myth of the "angry white male" is even better.

Does Bastille Day Count?

MartiniPundit notes something that even John Kerry would find funny...

Just for grins, type "french military victories" into Google and then click "I'm feeling lucky."

Somewhere, the Lord of Truth is laughing.

Soccer Tries to Attract the Casual Fan

Like all good Americans, I hate soccer (credit to Jim Rome for that wonderful line). But sometimes, I have to acknowledge that the world's favorite sport does have elements that my preferred choices do not...

The chairman of a Moldovan soccer club became so incensed when a penalty kick was awarded to the opponent he drove his car onto the field and tried to run over the referee.

No one was hurt, and the game was called off.

During Saturday's first division game in Florini between Roso Florini and Politehnica Chisinau, referee Vitalie Onica gave Politehnica a penalty kick with the score 1-1.

After Politehnica made the kick, Roso chairman Miso Macovei drove onto the field and attempted to run over the referee several times. Onica dodged the car each time.

... The Moldovan soccer foundation Monday fined Macovei about $1,900, and an investigation is under way.

What's most amazing in this story is that either team scored a goal. Aren't all soccer games obligated to end in 0-0 ties?

Yes, But What Happened to Greg "The Hammer" Valentine?

I have no idea how I missed this story originally...

He was the pec-perfect model for a toy action figure and a cartoon character puzzle, but it's former pro wrestling giant Brutus "The Barber'' Beefcake who's gone to pieces.

Beefcake - these days Edward Leslie, 46, of Winchester - voluntarily checked into a treatment program Monday, according to a source, after cocaine he admitted was his created an anthrax scare at the MBTA's Downtown Crossing subway station.

Sources said the man who acquired his stage name for hacking off the hair of his enemies in the ring had been working there part time as a fare collector - a job that pays $25,000 a year.

"He was a big star for the World Wrestling (Federation),'' Buck Woodward, a columnist for the online magazine Pro Wrestling Insider, said yesterday of Leslie.

"During the '80s wrestling boom he became popular because he was very good friends with Hulk Hogan.''

But behind the colossal bronzed chest and TV set of his own wrestling talk show, "The Barber Shop,'' Leslie's life was headed for the ropes. In 1990, his face was reconstructed with plates and bolts after a freak parasailing accident. Last April, the IRS slammed him with a lien for $57,425, according to records.

The MBTA confirmed yesterday they have an employee named Edward Leslie, but would not say if he was the one they suspended without pay after cocaine turned up Sunday afternoon on the counter of a Downtown Crossing fare booth, prompting an emergency hazmat response.

If he's working on the T collecting tolls, I'm guessing he's not mooching off Hulk Hogan anymore.

Let's Go To the Movies

You know, there are times when I realize that the left-wing in America looks at the world in a far different way. Here's part of the review of The Incredibles that appeared in The Nation...

Fathers are supposed to be strong, so Bob can bench-press a freight engine. Mothers are always being pulled ten ways at once, so Helen is elastic. Young Violet can become invisible, as teenage girls sometimes want to do, and Dash is just a wonderfully energetic little boy, ratcheted up to 200 mph.

Bird's biggest achievement in The Incredibles is to have inflated family stereotypes to parade-balloon size. His failing is that, in so doing, he also confirmed these stereotypes, and worse. Helen mouths one or two semi-feminist wisecracks but readily gives up her career for a house and kids; women are like that. Bob's buddy Frozone, the main nonwhite character in the movie, can instantly create ice; black people are cool. The superheroes are in hiding because greedy trial lawyers sued them into retirement; and, while concealed, they chafe at their confinement, like Ayn Rand railing against enforced mediocrity.

The family is the foundation of our society. Freedom is on the march.

(hat tip: Andrew Sullivan)

Wow, what a horrific message to convey, that the family is the foundation of our society. Do these people live in the same world as us?

Then there's the self-importance in Roger Ebert's review of Team America...

If I were asked to extract a political position from the movie, I'd be baffled. It is neither for nor against the war on terrorism, just dedicated to ridiculing those who wage it and those who oppose it. The White House gets a free pass, since the movie seems to think Team America makes its own policies without political direction.

I wasn't offended by the movie's content so much as by its nihilism. At a time when the world is in crisis and the country faces an important election, the response of Parker, Stone and company is to sneer at both sides -- indeed, at anyone who takes the current world situation seriously. They may be right that some of us are puppets, but they're wrong that all of us are fools, and dead wrong that it doesn't matter.

To which I can only wonder what Parker and Stone will do to an Ebert puppet in a sequel.

100 Things About the Election, Part IX

The continuing series of things I noticed during and after Election Day that I considered important. In no particular order...

69. You know, if the Red States really are "Jesus Land", wouldn't that make the Blue States Satan Land?

70. More riffs from Jonah Goldberg on the sore loser mentality that some Democrats appear to have adopted post-election...

"The election results reflect the decision of the right wing to cultivate and exploit ignorance in the citizenry," writes Jane Smiley, a woman who couldn't catch a clue if you used one as a pestle and her brain pan as the mortar. Smiley's now-famous hissyfit places a great deal of emphasis on the fact that the Republican base is "ignorant" while the Democratic one is enlightened. A similar point was made by the British Daily Mirror, one of whose headlines asked, "How Can 59,054,087 People Be So DUMB?"

One might ask if the Democrats really want to place so much emphasis on "ignorance" of the base as a defining difference between the parties. By all means let's break out the number-two pencils and pit the homeschoolers, tractor drivers, and Sunday-school teachers against the voters who wouldn't have shown up at the polls lest they miss a chance to meet P-Diddy.

Goldberg's got a point. We're dealing with a party that has voters who can't figure out a butterfly ballot. Not to mention the fact that they're the party who thought John Kerry was the "most electable" candidate they had.

71. Has Alec Baldwin finally left the country? I want to break out the champagne.

72. The DNC's search for a new party chairperson includes Howard Dean...

Dean, the former governor of Vermont who juiced up party activists last year by taking an uncompromising stance against the Iraq war, is among several Democrats who have begun to survey the more than 400 members of the party's national committee who will choose its next leader.

Terry McAuliffe, the current party chairman, has yet to officially call an election, but it is widely anticipated that the vote will happen in early February at the party's winter meeting.

Another prominent Democrat who has expressed an interest in the job is Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack. His allies worry that a Dean chairmanship would damage the party's ability to project a more acceptable image to skeptical independent voters.

Others say Dean's candidacy might harness the energy of Democrats to expand their base of support and to steadily add new and younger voters to its rolls.

Dean declined to comment on a potential bid today. Thousands of of e-mail petitions from Dean supporters encouraging him to run have been sent to his political organization's headquarters in Burlington, Vt., and Laura Gross, his spokeswoman, would only say that he was listening to what Democrats of all stripes have to say.

People should be jumping at the chance for this job. A baboon wearing rollerskates might have done a better job than Terry McAuliffe, unless McAuliffe's real job was clearing the field for Hillary Rodham Clinton's Presidential bid in 2008.

God, just typing those words scares me.

73. You know, the last three Democratic Presidents came from Arkansas, Georgia and Texas. And Al Gore would have won the 2000 election if folks in his reported home state of Tennessee actually believed he came from Tennessee. Instead, the Democrats chose to run Michael Dukakis' former Lt. Governor this year. Maybe they can track down the Massachusetts Secretary of Transportation for 2012.

74. AllahPundit's caption is wrong. Here's Derek Jeter, telling us how many more years of George W's leadership we shall receive.

75. Back to Election Night. Is it just me, or was Wolf Blitzer walking around the CNN stage weird as hell? Every other anchor sat a desk. I guess this was intended to set CNN's coverage apart from the competition, but the generally lousy coverage did that by itself.

Does Dean Cain Get to Make Another Movie?

I think Instapundit had the best reaction to the conclusion of the Scott Peterson murder trial...

My main feeling is disappointment that it's over: For many, many months I've been able to look up at TVs in bars, restaurants, the gym, etc. -- and when the Peterson trial was on, I knew right away that there was no actual news to report. Now I've lost that valuable tool.

I'm glad Peterson was convicted, since I believe he's guilty. Then again, maybe we should all be glad that someone finally got convicted of something in California.