Wojr Returns

Wojr is back and posting. Thank God. How irresponsible is it when someone goes days, if not a month, without updating their blog?

In any case, he noted that some Canadian is selling his soul on Ebay. To paraphrase South Park, "You idiot! Everyone knows Canadians don't have souls!" My personal favorite part of this is that there's shipment information as well. Good times.

It's Funny Cause It's True

This would be funnier if it wasn't so scary...

The United Nations Security Council yesterday passed a resolution calling on Iran to halt uranium enrichment by the end of April or face the looming specter of a “virtual mushroom cloud” of additional Security Council discussions and resolutions.

Iran immediately called the non-binding resolution “a terrifying deployment of words that threatens our women, our children and our peaceful way of life.”

The measure, which carries no consequences for non-compliance, nevertheless contains active verbs, challenging vocabulary and deliberate punctuation that pose a “clear and present danger” to the people of Iran, according to an unnamed spokesman for the Islamic Republic.

We all know how scared those mullahs are of active verbs.

Can't Argue With This

Logic overcomes all...

President Bush isn’t a fascist, and I can prove it.

We’ve seen what American bookstores and publications and universities do when confronted with real fascists: they knuckle under. You might not be able to find those Danish cartoons anyplace respectable, but you’ll sure find lots of anti-Bush stuff.

Ipso facto, America is doing just fine, thankyouverymuch.

In case you haven't heard (and Vodkapundit clearly has), Borders and Waldenbooks have decided not to stock copies of a magazine that reprints the now-famous Danish cartoons, in fear of violent reprisals against their stores and employees, while the student-editor of the campus newspaper at the University of Illinois was fired for printing the cartoons and the administration at NYU tried to suppress a discussion about the cartoons that would have -- gasp -- shown the cartoons. Man, maybe fascism really is alive and well in America.

Flush The Plumbers

Yet another reason I can't stand unions...

Two Philadelphia officials declared their determination yesterday to clear the blockage from the city's waterless-urinals imbroglio so the Comcast Center tower can compete for the title of America's tallest green building.

State Sen. Vincent J. Fumo is personally trying to broker a sit-down on urinals with the Plumbers Union, Philadelphia building-code officials, and the Comcast Center's developer, spokesman Gary Tuma said in a telephone interview. Meanwhile, a source close to Mayor Street said that he, too, is negotiating privately to make something happen with the environmentally friendly technology.

"This will get done," the City Hall source quoted the mayor as saying.

Liberty Property Trust, which is building the 975-foot-tall Comcast Center, is seeking to change the building code so it can install the water-saving devices and have its skyscraper certified by the U.S. Green Building Council. The 58-story Comcast Center could save 1.6 million gallons of water a year with the no-flush basins, advocates say.

But the influential Plumbers Union Local 690 has blocked the code change because the urinals lack water lines and therefore require less labor to install. City officials have so far deferred to the union, which is led by Edward Keenan, a close friend of Bob Brady, the Philadelphia congressman who also heads the city's Democratic Party.

...For years, the plumbers have successfully resisted attempts to modernize the building code and adopt changes that would make plumbing cheaper to install. Philadelphia is one of the few places in America, for example, that still requires cast-iron pipes for underground lines. Nearly everywhere else permits plastic pipes, which are 75 percent cheaper to buy and half as expensive to install.

In siding with the union on the urinal issue, city officials have argued the no-flush devices are still experimental.

In fact, waterless urinals have undergone years of intensive trials. Many cities, such as Seattle and Scottsdale, Ariz., actually mandate them in all government construction. Wal-Mart is starting to put them in its stores. Even the bathroom in the Taj Mahal - the one in India - adopted them.

Okay, forget the silly issue of getting the building certified by the "Green Building Council." The waterless urinals would save the city money and be environmentally friendly, and they're holding it up for the plumbers' union? Please.

This is insane, but it's not unexpected. The fact that the city has this much trouble getting waterless urinals approved isn't exactly a shining example of good governance. But the blame goes to the union -- you can't protect jobs by merely ignoring technological advances. Otherwise, people will be mocking you for having less advanced bathrooms than the Taj Mahal.

Cocky Phillies

I've been telling people that I feel good about the Phillies upcoming season, but maybe I should order the DVD highlights from last year, too...

The traditional blood sport of cockfighting has not made its way into baseball's fabric, and it probably never will considering that it is illegal in 48 states and the District of Columbia. So imagine the surprise of two Phillies season-ticket holders when they recently played a Phillies highlights DVD only to find a Spanish-language cockfighting video.

The Phillies had sent about 4,000 DVDs to season-ticket holders who had not renewed their season tickets, and as far as they know, only two have featured the sport where specially bred gamecocks are placed in an enclosure to fight to a bloody death.

The DVD manufacturer, ProAction Video, took responsibility for the error. It said when it started its Phillies DVD run, a few DVDs from a previous run to another customer inadvertently remained in the molding equipment.

Oops.

Some of the cockfighting DVDs were stamped with a Phillies graphic, which featured second baseman Chase Utley and the title Power of the Plan.

The real question is, what are the two states where cockfighting is legal? And can I get those two states in the "Where will the avian flu first break out in the U.S." pool?

The Parody Becomes A Mockery

Reading this article in the Harvard Law Record made me realize my law school may be getting more politically correct, which I didn't believe was possible...

A town hall meeting called to discuss allegations of racism and sexism in the annual law school Parody show drew a standing room only crowd to Langdell South Monday evening. The meeting was part of the school's response to complaints from a number of students who where upset about the manner in which they were depicted in the Parody. Professor Charles Ogletree moderated the event. He started off by announcing that this would be the first of a number of dialogues on the topic held this year and next, and strongly stressed the importance of civility and respect while conducting this dialogue.

The meeting began with a short statement read by the director of the Parody, Justin Shanes, which laid out the process of writing the Parody. Shanes hoped, he said, to increase the transparency of the process. In particular, he stated that the script of the Parody is vetted by numerous people and objectionable material is removed throughout the process; this year, changes were made even the week of the performance. He also offered an apology to all those who were offended, saying it was nobody's intention to hurt those parodied.

Prof. Ogletree posed a number of broad questions to the room at large, and the two-hour meeting consisted largely of attendees responding. Debate centered around the use of stereotypes, particularly racial ones in the show, and ways to improve it in the future. Two suggestions came up repeatedly: prohibiting the portrayal of actual students (and perhaps professors) altogether and implementing an opt-in/opt-out system whereby students could choose to be parodied or not.

The Parody's portrayal of racial minorities was a major focus of discussion. One student related being hurt by the Parody's inaccurate portrayal of her as "ghetto" based on her race. While all seemed to agree that there is a line that should not be crossed, where precisely that line is proved hard to pin down. John Bash suggested a litmus test: if the joke was about someone of a different race, gender, or socioeconomic group, would it still be funny? Others argued this is too constraining a standard, and pointed out that stereotypes could be used in such a way that actually deconstructed and disproved them.

Members of the Parody emphasized that the show had a diverse cast and crew, and that they were careful to take every cast member's opinions into account. To a proposal to have various affinity groups on campus vet the script, a Parody cast member responded that many of their members did belong to those affinity groups.

"Race and community [are] not something you can intellectualize," said one 4th-year joint degree student, who had been distressed to hear that one woman of his acquaintance had told him she was going to "leave the Harvard community" as a result of the Parody.

Objections to the Parody went beyond racial stereotypes. Some criticized jokes about physical appearance and details about students' romantic lives. "I talk about gender a lot and I have big breasts," stated a 1L in attendance, "does that mean I'm going to be publicly humiliated?"

I don't know where to start. Wait... let me start by responding to that last question by the big-breasted hyper-sensitive 1L: Yes, you are going to be mocked, and you probably should be.

Okay, full disclosure. I'm an alum, and despite making occasional jokes about the place, I liked my time there. I liked most of the people there. But this story is a reminder of why the cocoon of Cambridge gets so suffocating.

And for the record, I was parodied in the Parody my 3L year, portrayed as a raucous frat boy who never grew up even after starting law school. Like all satire, it had more than a grain of truth in it (unfortunately, I'm also pretty sure I was portrayed as more popular with women in the parody than I ever have been in real life). But I laughed. Hell, one of my best friends was portrayed as a sock puppet on my left hand that affirmed everything I said. His reaction? He laughed and asked for the sock as a souvenier, and I'm pretty sure he still has it. I do remember one friend who was worried that we might take the portrayal the wrong way. We didn't, because we have a healthy self-esteem and a good sense of humor.

What I'm trying to tell the people at HLS is that they need to get a sense of humor and get over their own sense of self-importance. For crying out loud, there's enough real sexism and racism in the world that intelligent, self-confident people should be able to recognize and distinguish it from somewhat risque humor. And trust me, since we're at an Ivy League law school, it's not like the writers of the parody are pushing the envelope like Lenny Bruce.

If you're a student at Harvard Law School, you're attending one of the top law schools in the world. You've got a top-flight mind. Who cares if someone makes a joke at your expense?

And they wonder why people dislike lawyers, let alone Ivy League law graduates.

In Case You Missed Coach K and Duke...

One more post about college basketball -- this link is too good to pass up. Coach K's "D-Harmony" ad would probably have Dukies laughing.

V for Villanova

I'm not into discussing college basketball too much right now, despite the wondrous run by George Mason to the Final Four. It's not that I'm upset by Villanova's loss -- I am, but I'm not disappointed in these guys. They didn't let us down. They just ran into a better team on a day when their shots wouldn't fall and they couldn't overcome it with the desire and tenacity they brought to every game. That's cause for sadness, but Villanova alums will always be proud of this team...

Everybody talked about it, about how hard this team played - and how could you not? It was the first thing out of Florida coach Billy Donovan's mouth after the game last night: "They have had an outstanding season, and we have great respect for their team, the way they played the game, how aggressive they are, and just the way they have taken on every challenge."

It was in your face every time you watched them on television or bought a ticket to see them in person. It is the quality that none of us can possibly forget - how they made the impossible work; how they took four guards and, through sheer determination, had one of the great seasons in the history of a great basketball program.

"We asked these guys to give us everything they have," Wright said. "This team did. And care about each other, love each other, and they did. So we are going to suck up this hurt a little bit tonight, but I am going to make sure these guys feel real good about themselves. I am going to start working on that right after this."

Because there would be one more meeting, Jay Wright said, one more chance to do some teaching before Foye and Ray and the rest of them scatter. When the talk turns to legacies, Wright says, "We can't control how it's going to be remembered." But he and they should know that their legacy is simple and secure.

Villanova Wildcats, 2005-06:

They played harder.

That's from Rich Hoffman's article in the Daily News Monday, and it expresses my feelings pretty well about how I will remember this team. This is possibly my favorite team I've ever followed in any sport -- mostly because they really left every bit of energy on the floor and let their fans know how much they cared. Yes, they fell short, but it wasn't due to lack of desire or effort. And hey, there's always next year... and yes, you get tired of saying that as a Philly sports fan.

But for now... to Dunleavy, Claxton, Charles and particularly Ray, Foye and Fraser -- you gave us far more thrills than we imagined possible for our basketball program when you arrived, and you rebuilt the foundation for greatness. Thanks for the wins, the joy, the effort and even the sadness. Thanks for caring even more than we did, and know the memories you created will be cherished long after you leave.

Say What You Think -- What a Revolutionary Thought

I believe that Homer Simpson put it best when he said, "Woo-hoo!" The FEC sides with the blogosphere...

The Federal Election Commission decided Monday that the nation's new campaign finance law will not apply to most political activity on the internet.

In a 6-0 vote, the commission decided to regulate only paid political ads placed on another person's website.

The decision means that bloggers and online publications will not be covered by provisions of the new election law. Internet bloggers and individuals will therefore be able to use the internet to attack or support federal candidates without running afoul of campaign spending and contribution limits.

"It's a win, win, win," Commissioner Ellen L. Weintraub said, adding that the rule would satisfy concerns of campaigns, individuals and the internet community about whether the campaign finance law applies to online political activity.

Now, if someone can get the noxiously stupid McCain-Feingold Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act repealed, things would be really good. Of course, a lot of credit belong to forces as diverse as Mike Krempasky at Redstate and Atrios. Left and right coming together should mean something -- whether it's good or bad may depend on your perspective. But free speech -- true free speech, political free speech -- is a cause that should be celebrated by all.

As Krempasky noted, there is the concern that the "reform" community may sue the Commission to get it to reverse the ruling. But we've won a huge battle.

Immigration and Politics

Mickey Kaus thinks the GOP may have found its salvation for the 2006 midterm elections -- getting tough on illegal immigration. He even thinks the President's approach gives the GOP long-term cover from being viewed as anti-Latino -- which is the reason most ascribe to the President's efforts to get a guest worker program passed.

I actually disagree with the conventional wisdom on why Bush favors guest workers -- while members of his adminstration (coughKarlRovecough) make the political calculations, I think Bush is following his heart and his Texas roots here. As Governor of Texas, Bush forged close ties with Vicente Fox in Mexico, and he made inroads with the Latino vote. He has a different experience that leads him to believe that the majority of these illegals are merely seeking to grab a piece of the American dream, and his compassionate side makes him more likely to think we should make this possible.

I disagree with the President on this issue, but it's not like the rest of GOP has found a coherent voice elsewhere, save for zealots like Tom Tancredo. I fall somewhere in the mushy middle of the party on this issue -- I generally think open borderes can be a good policy and contributes to the betterment of America by having ambitious people come here to better themselves, but I think it's ridiculous that we have highly qualified people unable to enter the country due to restrictions on legal immigration while illegal immigration goes unchecked. And that's without acknowledging the entirely legitimate worry that terrorists and criminals will make their way across the border thanks to our lax enforcement practices. I know that no one of Hispanic descent had anything to do with bringing down the World Trade Center. But if another terrorist attack takes place and we learn the terrorists entered the country illegally... well, they may have more than a wall built on the border. You may see mined tranches. Supporting enforcement mechanisms that are reasonable, such as serious fines for companies that hire undocumented workers, is a good idea compared to having to fight a tide of public opinion if something horrible happens.

I do think the mass rallies by illegal immigrants are a bad idea. As noted, the legislation passed by the House and under consideration by the Senate is pretty reasonable...

The U.S. House of Representatives has passed legislation that would make it a felony to be in the U.S. illegally, impose new penalties on employers who hire illegal immigrants, require churches to check the legal status of people they help, and erect fences along one-third of the U.S.-Mexican border.

I'm not sure I agree with the churches portion of this deal, but the rest of it strikes me as reasonable. And rallying against it strikes me as a sure-fire way to agitate voters the other way, as stated by Instapundit.

Back To Blogging

Well, that was a nice month away.

Sorry for the extended respite from my commentaries (I'm pretty sure all three of my fans were struggling badly without me). But the last month included a nice vacation and not-so-nice busy times at work. Besides, I was wondering whether to return to the blogosphere -- everyone seems to have a blog now, and I'm not particularly excited enough by anything going on to blog about it, my alma mater's valiant effort in the NCAA tournament notwithstanding.

But something convinced me to return -- something sent to me by my father-in-law. This article in the Wall Street Journal discusses lawyers and blogging, and how we're making a great contribution to society... okay, just kidding. Basically, it reveals that we lawyers-turned-bloggers are little more than frustrated writers... which absolutely the case for yours truly. Too bad the picture for making a living as a writer is so bleak...

Each year thousands of otherwise perfectly normal college graduates with perfectly worthless degrees in the humanities venture into law school in the hope of landing a paying job that requires no science and little math. Many have been encouraged by college counselors who have told them that law school will "keep their options open"--code for delaying the inevitable for another three years--and it pays better than academia.

Law schools feed this myth because they need paying customers, even as the members of their own faculty are refugees from the very firms to which they are sending their students. Upon graduation, however, many students find that the entry-level jobs they get are little more than glorified secretarial positions. Sure, they pay well, but how many paper clips can you remove from a stack of documents before you start questioning your entire existence?

In the dark hours, writing seems like a natural escape. It's what most lawyers do (when they're not reviewing documents), and though blogging is very different from drafting a prospectus, it's close enough to fool many lawyers into trading one form of verbiage for another. Writing a blog can also be done in secret, on your own time (or during office hours if you're careful), and it is potentially lucrative (if you can get some ads or make a name for yourself). For many lawyers, writing is also their true love, a dream they had before financial concerns and parental pressure drove them into drudgery. Some turn to nonfiction, hoping to transform their legal meanderings into punditry. Others (myself included) seek to channel their inner McInerney by penning the next great American novel, or at least a best seller.

We should applaud their efforts to escape a profession that has one of the lowest levels of job satisfaction. If money is the goal, though, these lawyers might be more successful if they played the lottery. Legal-thriller writer Lisa Scottoline once told me that she wrote her first book as a way to earn some money following a divorce. She succeeded in spite of her naiveté. Most writers will not see a cent from their efforts. Those who do will quickly realize that they cannot survive on books alone. Instead, law will pay their bills while they toil in obscurity, learning a cold, cruel lesson about the realities of the publishing industry: It takes more than a cup of coffee and a laptop to write a good book.

I guess that last paragraph explains my regular purchase of Powerball tickets.

Funny thought, though. I recognized the name of the author, Cameron Stracher, from way back in my past. His book, "Double Billing", appeared in my student mailbox during my first year of law school, free of charge. How did he go from giving away copies of his book to law students to success? It sounds like he went back to the law.

Back to work, I guess.