The Latest Liberal Complaint About Judge Roberts

The latest attack on Judge John Roberts concentrated on the "coordinated" image projected by his children during last week's announcement on TV. Apparently, Robin Givhan of the Washington Post's Style section thought the outfits were a tad too planned...

Dressing appropriately is a somewhat selfless act. It's not about catering to personal comfort. One can't give in fully to private aesthetic preferences. Instead, one asks what would make other people feel respected? What would mark the occasion as noteworthy? What signifies that the moment is bigger than the individual?

But the Roberts family went too far. In announcing John Roberts as his Supreme Court nominee, the president inextricably linked the individual -- and his family -- to the sweep of tradition. In their attire, there was nothing too informal; there was nothing immodest. There was only the feeling that, in the desire to be appropriate and respectful of history, the children had been costumed in it.

This critique leads us to a hysterical and brilliant response from the always sublime Lileks...

Why, it’s almost as if the Roberts thought they were better than the rest of us. I’ll tell you this: when it comes to dressing the kids, it’s quite possible they look at parents who get on airplanes in flip-flops with 12-year old daughters who have the word JUICY spelled out on their behinds, and they actually do think they’re better than those parents. Because they put some stock in appearance, in public decorum. When required. Like showing up at the White House. To be nominated for the Supreme Court. That's the sort of event that makes a man spend fifteen minutes choosing his socks, even though they'll never been seen, and even though they're black.

If little Jack Roberts Jr. had been bopping around in an Spongebob T-shirt, he would have been the darling of the press. “In a White House Obsessed With Appearances, a Note of Abandon.” And you suspect that Washington commentators would have noted how Spongebob’s sexual ambiguity stands in ironic contrast to the administration’s support of a controversial amendment, and how various state cases on gay marriage may confront the Supreme Court in years to come, etcetera, etcetera.

You can’t blame the Roberts family for wishing to dress up nicely. But the Roberts went too far. Do you understand? They went too far. If that child’s nice old-money anti-hoi-polloi skirt didn’t sound your klaxons, you’re just not paying attention. People who dress like Mormons are creepy. Creepy as real Mormons. Women who do not feel a surge of resentment when they put on hosiery are traitors to the gender; men who carefully knot their ties are repressing something, probably sexual; parents who put their kids in nice dress-up clothes that are 21% more formal than a newspaper reporter would have worn on Friday are rejecting modernity and the lower four quintiles. You. Have. Been. Warned.

Forget Roberts -- let's put Lileks on the high court.

The Continued Insanity of the Democrats

Senator Patrick Leahy apparently wants to provide us with proof that he can make a truly stupid comment...

The Bush administration does not want to release confidential memos that U.S. Supreme Court nominee John Roberts wrote when he worked for two Republican presidents, a White House adviser said on Sunday.

Former Sen. Fred Thompson, named by President Bush to steer Roberts' confirmation through the Senate, disputed calls by some Democrats to turn over all the documents from Roberts' tenure at the White House and Justice Department.

"The administration's been pretty consistent on that, in fact, I think very consistent, in that (confidential documents) will not be forthcoming," Thompson said during an interview on NBC's "Meet the Press."

...Roberts argued before the Supreme Court as the principal deputy solicitor general during the presidency of Bush's father. He also worked in the Justice Department in 1981-1982 and in the White House counsel's office during Ronald Reagan's presidency.

Sen. Patrick Leahy, ranking Democrat on the Judiciary Committee, disagreed with Thompson's stand that Roberts' documents are covered by attorney-client privilege and said many previous nominees had agreed to make the same type of documents public.

"Those working in the solicitor general's office are not working for the president. They're working for you and me and all the American people," Leahy said on ABC's "This Week."

As loyal reader RB noted, only geeky lawyers would find the story fascinating. It is nice to hear a United States Senator claim there is no attorney-client privilege for the government... and perhaps no other privileges (deliberative process... hmmmm) as well. In the meantime, I plan to visit Senator Leahy's offices and ask for all of their documents. After all, these files also belong to all the people.

Birds, Baby, Birds

Here comes training camp -- and the Eagles have now signed their first round pick. Of course, we all know what the big story really is...

From the day Rosenhaus made a preannounced, public visit to the Eagles offices right up until Friday's bizarre contradictory announcements from Owens and the agent, there was one unanswered question: What is the plan here?

And now we have the answer. There wasn't one.

When Owens tells The Inquirer's Stephen A. Smith that he will report to Lehigh on time, that shouldn't come as a surprise to Rosenhaus. Not if the player and the agent are on the same planet, let alone the same page. Rosenhaus, forced to go on TV and spin, came off like a holdup man who still wants you to cooperate after you find out the "gun" in his pocket is just his index finger.

So what do we have? Let's review.

It looks from here as if Rosenhaus sold Owens on the idea that he could get him a new contract from the Eagles just one year after Owens signed a seven-year deal. Rosenhaus took his shot; the Eagles said no. In a misguided (see Page 8 of your Drew textbook) attempt to create leverage with a media campaign, the ever-volatile Owens insulted Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb.

A quick aside here: That is the one thing I have criticized Owens for doing. It was immature and uncalled for. Asking for a raise is OK, although I wrote in April and still maintain that Owens was foolish to squander the goodwill and image rehabilitation he had built in his first season with the Eagles.

It all goes back to Page 8. Once Owens and Rosenhaus lit the match, the media fire was going to be impossible for them to control, especially in a market as combustible as Eagles-obsessed Philadelphia.

As Gary Papa said on Channel 6 Friday night, "T.O. and Drew Rosenhaus, coming at you every day for the rest of your life."

Sometimes, it's a good thing I no longer live in the Delaware Valley.

Meanwhile, it's scary that even the Eagles alumni teams are beating up the Redskins...

Randall Cunningham to Fred Barnett... touchdown, touchdown, touchdown.

So it was as the former teammates hooked up for three scores as a team of Eagles alumni topped their counterparts from Washington, 56-35, in a flag-football matchup for charity before a crowd of about 3,000 yesterday in Landover, Md.

Cunningham totaled eight TD passes and one nimble side-step of a Dexter Manley near-touch-sack before zipping a sideline completion to Barnett.

Dan Snyder will probably sign Deion for the rematch.

The Wedding Update

This wedding update is brought to you by a tired soon-to-be-groom who's too tired to find a witty sponsor tie-in -- and if you're upset by that, we don't really care.

5 days to go...

Again, random thoughts to fill the day.

My wish for a commentary track on my wedding DVD is shared by the Lord of Truth, who also suggests deleted scenes and an alternate ending.

Seating... this was hell on Earth. No, it wasn't all that hard, just painful and tedious. I compare it to getting a root canal while being forced to watch a Lifetime movie.

The first person to complain about where they're seated can blame me. I didn't pay attention to anything -- I'm pretty sure that I tried to seat one table outside the ballroom in the gardens, and another in the bathroom... in another hotel.

During the seating exercise, my future father-in-law got up and took a nap in front of the TV. My admiration for this man grows every day.

I've never debated the merits of classical music before, at least not at 11:30 at night. I can say that I would have guessed "Air on a G String" would be by Jay Z, not Bach.

Meanwhile, I need to compliment my groomsmen. One question -- "What type of beer should we have available at the reception?" -- produced a uniform set of four choices. My groomsmen even had the good sense to pick Miller Light over Bud Light.

Best reaction to the aformentioned question regarding beer came from the soon-to-be-renamed Kansas Redhead (we should have a renaming contest). His line: Your question reminds me of a quote from The Millionaire Next Door. "I like two kinds of beer. Free and Bud." But I can defer to the collective wisdom of the group. We all know the collective mind of this group is always right.

Oh, in case you were wondering... Miller Light, Guiness, Bass and Yeungling.

Finally, we're having a running debate about whether we plan to ask for "economic and social justice" during the ceremony. Is it just me, or does that sound like it's cribbed from the Communist Party platform? What's wrong with just asking for plain old-fashioned justice? Or is economic justice open to interpretation as a request for a flat tax and Social Security privitization?

A Hall of Famer in Every Way

As always, Bill Simmons cracks me up. His column on Rafael Palmeiro's 3,000th hit left me in stitches for this section...

Please note: I'm not accusing Palmeiro of anything. He was at the right place at the perfect time, just like Judd Nelson peaking when over-the-top performances in enjoyably cheesy movies were all the rage. Whether either guy needed drugs to complete the effect is beside the point. And while we're here, I support the career of any ballplayer with the kind of facial hair that could have inspired a line of overpowering colognes. Even before Raffy started to tout Viagra, I'd always pictured him on a leopard-skin sofa, wearing a monogrammed bathrobe and pouring glasses of port for two wide-eyed groupies as he asked, "Would you mind if I put on some Barry White?" That this guy was promoting a sexual-enhancement drug is too good. For this reason alone, he gets my Hall of Fame vote (and I don't even have one).

Palmeiro's Viagra ads are a highlight of modern television (not that we're saying much there). And let's face it -- the man's mustache is in the Hall of Fame of sports pornostaches, next to Rollie Fingers and Titans coach Jeff Fisher.

Now, there's a Hall of Fame debate worth having.

Proof That C-List Celebrities Never Die

I guess there really is life after Saved by the Bell... unless you're Screech...

Former "Saved By The Bell" star Mario Lopez has been named the co-anchor of "ESPN Hollywood," ESPN 2's new show looking at the intersection between Hollywood and the sports world.

Lopez will join Thea Andrews, former co-host of ESPN 2's "Cold Pizza," on the Los Angeles-produced show, which will air weekdays at 6 p.m. ET beginning Aug. 15. Andrews has been on the team for several months, but ESPN Original Entertainment has been trying to find the right co-anchor ever since.

Too bad Lark Voorhies wasn't available. I wonder if Mr. Belding will be available to do celebrity interviews.

The Last Tour De Lance

I guess some Texans are popular in France...

One last time, "The Star-Spangled Banner" rang out over the Champs-Elysees in honor of Lance Armstrong.

One last time, on the podium against the backdrop of the Arc de Triomphe, the cancer survivor who became the greatest cyclist in Tour de France history slipped into the leader's yellow jersey Sunday. This time, it was the winner's jersey, for an unprecedented seventh consecutive year in the world's most grueling race.

He held his yellow cap over his heart as the American anthem played, and his twin 3-year-old daughters, Grace and Isabelle, wore matching yellow dresses.

"Vive le Tour! Forever," Armstrong said.

Vive Lance, the once but not future champion.

It was the end of Armstrong's amazing career, and in retiring a winner he achieved a rare feat in sports -- going out on top. He said his decision was final and that he walks away with no regrets.

We will, for once, avoid too many jokes about the Tour de France. Granted, the winner wears a yellow jersey, but that's just a cycling thing, as far as we can tell.

Less than nine years ago, the guy was holding a press conference to announce that he was undergoing chemotherapy and his life was in danger. Now, less than a decade later, he's won the world's most grueling sports competition seven consecutive times and plans to retire, at the age of 34. Between that and selling 50 million Livestrong bracelets for cancer research, I'd say he's earned some time off. Of course, his version of "retirement" will probably more active than the lives most of us lead.