Friday, August 12, 2005

T.O. has B.O.

The esteemed owner of this blog picked a good time to be away from his beloved Eagles. Between Todd Pinkston being out for the season, VU alum Brian Westbrook holding out, and the morale disaster that is Terrell Owens, it's not a good time to be an E-A-G-L-E-S fan.

T.O. stretched the fiasco to new heights yesterday by entertaining fans and the press at his fancy home in Moorestown, NJ. I live about 5 minutes from his house, so I've been able to observe some of the party. I have to say he's managed to surprise me with the amount of contact he's given his fans - playing basketball in the driveway, throwing a football, and even doing some exercises in the front yard. Maybe this is some carefully orchestrated effort by T.O.'s insane agent, Drew Rosenhaus, at shoring up fan support for T.O., but in the opinion of this non-Eagle fan, I think Owens is just bored. He just wants to have fun and get paid well. Of course, other Eagles fans have now set up camp near his house with signs saying "T.O. must go", so it's not all pats on the back for the Superstar.

ESPN's John Clayton points out that the Eagles knew what they were getting into when they signed him, and that they structured his contract to give them protection in the event of the very shenanigans we're seeing right now:

The Eagles knew Owens could be trouble. They put clauses in his $49 million to protect themselves for situations like Wednesday. According to his contract, Owens could be forced to pay back $1.725 million of his $2.3 million signing bonus if he's involved in any incident that is considered conduct detrimental to the team.

I think we're all in agreement that this episode is detrimental to everyone involved. The bottom line is that the Eagles need to settle this one way or the other so they can spend their energy on winning games and not taming a talented but tumultuous T.O.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Best Athlete Name of the Season

We're starting a new feature here - our favorite athlete name of the season. We anticipate this to be a work in progress, and we welcome any of your nominations. We'll start the feature with a player from the NFL:

Atari Bigby

Atari was signed by the Jets this week . He's a product of the University of Central Florida and his parents were apparently big video game fans. He comes from a big sports family, so you'll probably be hearing about his siblings Colecovision, Intellivision and Pong at some point.

Next up: Our favorite name from the "sport" of Curling!

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

What Annoying Song is Stuck in My Head Today?

Having been the victim of this column before and getting the damn songs stuck in my head, I thought I'd share one of mine with you.

The torture of the day is Meatloaf's "Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)" - possibly one of the worst songs of all time. And it's stuck in my head courtesy of my radio alarm clock. From YESTERDAY morning.

It's inconceivable, but Meatloaf actually won a Grammy for this song. Which just goes to show you that the Grammys are a bunch of junk.

Also, why do we ever need part of the song title in parentheses? Hall & Oates "I Can't Go For That (No Can Do), Simple Minds' "Don't You (Forget About Me). I mean, aren't the first few words enough? Do people really get confused if you don't throw the next line of the song into
the title? Somehow for 99% of songs, we're fine without parentheses, but certain songs are so unbelievably vexing that we need that extra little guidance.

Anyway, here's the words to Meatloaf's abomination. I'd list them here like normal, but the song runs over 8 minutes (12 on the album version) and I don't want to totally destroy this blog.

You're welcome.

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Amusing Bumper Sticker or T-Shirt Slogan We've Seen Lately

Another entry in a continuing series of driving diversions.

OK, so I live in NJ. Imagine my surprise and amusement this week as I pulled up behind a nice new car with NJ plates with the following bumper sticker, placed with great care in the exact middle of the bumper:
Southern Wisconsin Bassoon Quartet

Now they must be good to have a following out here. But are they that much better than the Northern Wisconsin Bassoon Quartet? Would they be 20% better with a fifth bassoon?

We'll never know.




Kids Get a Treat, and Adults Can Too

Reason number 345,397 to make fun of New Jersey: A man was arrested this week for selling drugs out of the ice cream truck that he drives. I always liked the old Screwball with the gumball at the bottom of the cone-shaped ice cream treat. Little did I know that I could order a speedball too...

However, I suppose this does cut down on the time required to find food after they get the munchies.

Which reminds me of NJ's big ad campaign from the 80's: Tom Kean saying "New Jersey and you...perfect together."

Just like drugs and ice cream. Scary.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Smells Like... Victory

A special story by unspoken request of the Chief Blogger around these parts. Quick quiz: There is only one state in the Union that still celebrates V-J day as a holiday. Name it.

What no answer? It's my former home of Rhode Island (also holder of the longest state name, which most people don't know. Full name: The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations)

So in honor of V-J Day, veterans, Little Rhody and Raj himself, here's a V-J Day story. I'm posting the full text because you need to register to read it on the Providence Journal site. But if you want to see it there, go here.


They called it Victory Day

Monday, August 8, 2005 BY ELIZABETH GUDRAIS
Journal Staff Writer

On Dec. 15, 1943, two 18-year-old Woonsocket boys went to Providence and enlisted in the Navy. Rene Hemond became a signalman, tapping out Morse code aboard an infantry landing craft that delivered U.S. soldiers to France.Robert Tellier became a pharmacist's mate aboard the Firedrake, a ship that carried as much as 8,000 tons of ammunition to reload other ships in the Pacific.

On Aug. 14, 1945, the childhood friends were on opposite sides of thePacific. Hemond's ship was off the west coast of Canada, near Prince Rupert, British Columbia, when the news of Japan's surrender came over the radio.Since the vessel was only 180 feet long and 24 feet wide, "the celebration was very limited," Hemond remembers. "Everybody cheered, and I guess we had lemonade. I'm not a drinking man anyway." Eight thousand miles away in the South Pacific, it was a different story. "All of a sudden," Tellier says, "it came over the radio: The war was over."

Japan's formal surrender didn't come until Sept. 2, with the signing of terms aboard the battleship Missouri, in Tokyo Bay. But the celebration didn't wait."What happened in the next hour was unbelievable," Tellier recalls.In a cataclysm of light and sound, every ship in the harbor opened fire."You think the Fourth of July fireworks in New York were spectacular?" Tellier asks, smiling at the memory. "If there was a plane flying overhead, he would have been a goner."

RHODE ISLAND is the only state that still commemorates World War II's end with an official holiday. Arkansas, believed to have been the last other state to celebrate the day, dropped its holiday in 1975.Brig. Gen. John L. Enright, a Vietnam War veteran and interim adjutant general of the Rhode Island National Guard, says that the preservation of Victory Day as a holiday signifies this little state's stubborn insistence on forging its own path. "We were the first ones to declare independence, back in 1775," Enright says. "I guess it says something about our independence."

Today -- the 60th anniversary of the war's end -- state and municipal offices in Rhode Island are closed, and a handful of communities will mark the occasion with a parade, a concert or a wreath-laying ceremony. It's a far cry from the state's first commemoration of Victory Day. On Aug. 15, 1948, 3,000 people gathered in downtown Providence to hear an 11-piece band. Nearly every city and town in the state held a ceremony. More than a thousand people visited two Navy vessels that were docked at the state pier.

The stores that stayed open sparked a public outcry, and the General Assembly passed a law to assess fines against businesses that refused to close. Today, retail stores, liquor stores and supermarkets, as well as some banks, will be open, as will federal offices and U.S. stock markets. Many Rhode Islanders see the day as an extra day to hit the beach. Victory Day has become "almost a secondary holiday, not a primary holiday," Enright says.

But Jack Lucas, who coordinates Pawtucket's annual ceremony, says he isn't disappointed that the turnout for the ceremony is relatively small. "There are so many distractions today, for any person," says Lucas, a Lincoln resident and World War II veteran. "Everybody is trying to make a living." At that ceremony, today at 11 a.m., at the city's Veterans Memorial Park, next to Pawtucket City Hall, a Bataan Death March survivor will speak. It's important that Rhode Island maintain Victory Day as a holiday, Lucas says, "in order that we never forget the sacrifices our forefathers made."

OVER THE YEARS, state officials have proposed changing the holiday's name to World Peace Day, Remembrance Day, and Rhode Island Veterans' Day.In 1989, Gov. Edward D. DiPrete declared the second Monday in August to be Governor's Bay Day, a day to celebrate Narragansett Bay, when entrance to state beaches would be free.
Ten years later, Gov. Lincoln C. Almond finally gave in to veterans' pleas, moving Bay Day to the last weekend in July, so it wouldn't fall on the same day as Victory Day.Interestingly, the holiday's official name was never Victory over Japan Day or V-J Day. It was always called Victory Day -- but that has never stopped many people from referring to it as V-J Day.Those who object to the holiday and its current name say it's at best an anachronism, now that Japan is a U.S. ally. At worst, detractors say, the holiday gives rise to discrimination and hatred against Japanese-Americans and other Americans of Asian descent.

Proponents of eliminating the holiday point out that the event that sparked the Japanese surrender was the dropping of atomic bombs on the cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki -- an act that killed 120,000 civilians outright, and twice that number over time. "There's nothing controversial about celebrating the victory in World War II," says Andrew Huebner, a visiting professor at Brown University who teaches the history course "World War II in American History and Memory." "But if it appears to celebrate the killing of more than 100,000 civilians, that's a problem."

V-J DAY'S most famous image -- the Life magazine photograph depicting a sailor, in New York City's Times Square, grabbing a nurse by the waist and kissing her -- speaks of a more innocent time, a time when the U.S. public accepted those bombings without reservation. Later, during the wars in Korea and Vietnam, the public became "more questioning and less credulous" of its government's military actions, Huebner says. That skepticism also affects the way people view World War II.Each time someone has proposed eliminating the Victory Day
holiday, veterans have rallied in opposition. They say the holiday has
nothing to do with hating the Japanese or killing civilians.

The first Victory Day "meant freedom for all of us," says Frederick Klockars, a North Smithfield resident who fought in the Battle of the Bulge.Without that victory, Klockars says, "We would not have the freedom we have today."Besides, says Rene Hemond, to call the day by any other name would be to lose reverence for the war that sent his generation around the world and transformed their lives."We went in as kids," Hemond says. "We came out as men."

THOUGH ATTENDANCE at today's Victory Day celebrations surely won't rival that of 1948, the veterans say turnout has increased since Sept. 11, 2001."Now, there's more recognition for the veterans because we, as Americans, experienced the horrors of war," Hemond says. Ordinary citizens, he says, "can appreciate their own country a lot more."But Victory Day faces an uncertain fate, as its heartiest advocates continue to dwindle in number. Of the 16 million people who served in the U.S. military during World War II, only about a quarter are still alive. "We watch the obituaries every day," Hemond says. "Once a month, at least, we go to a funeral."

IN WOONSOCKET, on Aug. 14, 1945, Jacqueline Gauthier, then 14, was at home on Paradis Avenue when she heard the news."All the whistles were going, and the church bells," she recalls. "I wanted to go where all the action was, on Main Street. My mother said no." The day was bittersweet for her family -- her brother, Maurice, had died at Normandy on D-Day. But after V-J Day, she says, "the men started to come back and things turned back to normal." Gauthier married one of those men who came back -- Al Auclair, a Marine Corps mortarman who had fought at Iwo Jima, in the bloody battle of February 1945 that killed nearly 8,000 U.S. troops and 21,000 Japanese. After he came home, Auclair became a state senator.

In 1995, the year that the Rhode Island Veterans' Day name-change was first proposed, he testified: "With the determination, patriotism, love of country and valor of the young men of that era, although America suffered greatly, it was able to survive and overcome the enemy. "Our heroes -- for truly, everyone who served in battle were heroes -- should always be remembered, and their valor should never be forgotten. They were the victors, and August fourteenth should always belong
to them."

Monday, August 08, 2005

The End of an Era

This weekend's passing of Peter Jennings truly marks the end of an era. With it, the "Big 3" TV news anchors of our youth and early adulthood have now all signed off, in one way or another. Jennings was always my anchor of choice, partly due to his style, and partly due to what I felt was his enormous respect for the viewers. He didn't get gimmicky like NBC tended to do, nor did he try and push the story in a certain direction a la Rathergate. He left all that silliness to the dopes on 20/20. Peter simply went up there each night and filled us in, one elite intellectual Canadian to another. Peter, we'll miss you, even in this age of instant news and web logs.

More on this later as I find tributes and tidbits around the Blogosphere.

Hope It's a STRONG Roof

Oh God. Rosie O'Donnell is joining "Fiddler on the Roof." Maybe someone will drop the whole house on her.

Maybe They Can Just Settle This Over A Game of Beirut

Entertainment correspondent K-Mac sends us this story from the Former Fonda Network. I know there's some sort of "Tastes Great - Less Filling" joke to be made here, but I can't quite grasp it in the swirling jello soup that is my brain. Of course, if this story were in Ireland, the two sides would simply take all the money, go out drinking and fight it out after 20 pints or so.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

You Can't Keep Some People Away...

...even on their honeymoon.

Sorry, they have free Internet service here in paradise, or at least this portion of paradise. And while my lovely wife (have to get used to saying that) continues researching where we will be drinking tonight, I thought I'd check in. And yes, as the Lord noted, there will be an eventual "final" wedding update -- if I can still remember the wedding after two weeks of sand and sun. I guess I could always watch the video.

The Lord hasn't just done a good job -- he's done a great job. Every story up here has been worth reading, particularly when I've been stuck with limited news all week. During the down time when we've been hanging out or getting ready to go out, I've watched TV coverage here, and that may be the one thing that proves this isn't paradise. At least 8 channels in French, as well as two in English: Turner Classic Movies and CNN. Actually, if you add in that new Al Gore channel, that would probably be the TV lineup in hell. Not to mention the daily printouts of the news from the US that are left for guests are from the left-wing dishrag (including the standard editorial deciding that for the purposes of Ralph Neas and the liberal vanguard, we need to eviscerate the attorney-client privilege before another dastardly conservative gets on the Supreme Court).

I'm still wondering -- I've seen the same story on Hiroshima in part or in full 24 times, but nothing on V-J Day. Maybe they're covering that exclusively in the U.S. No wonder I've been consuming so many umbrella drinks and wonderful local cuisine. Thank God we have alternative media to counter the stupidity of Wolf Blitzer.

In any case, to sum up... umbrella drinks good, dishrag bad. In the meantime, I'll return to the beach and working on my much-needed tan. Back to the Lord...