How To Win a Free Trip to Disney World

I've always known MIT students had a sense of hiumor. Here's some more proof...

In a victory for pranksters at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, a bunch of computer-generated gibberish masquerading as an academic paper has been accepted at a scientific conference.

Jeremy Stribling said Thursday that he and two fellow MIT graduate students questioned the standards of some academic conferences, so they wrote a computer program to generate research papers complete with "context-free grammar," charts and diagrams.

The trio submitted two of the randomly assembled papers to the World Multi-Conference on Systemics, Cybernetics and Informatics (WMSCI), scheduled to be held July 10-13 in Orlando, Florida.

To their surprise, one of the papers -- "Rooter: A Methodology for the Typical Unification of Access Points and Redundancy" -- was accepted for presentation.

The prank recalled a 1996 hoax in which New York University physicist Alan Sokal succeeded in getting an entire paper with a mix of truths, falsehoods, non sequiturs and otherwise meaningless mumbo-jumbo published in the quarterly journal Social Text, published by Duke University Press.

Stribling said he and his colleagues only learned about the Social Text affair after submitting their paper.

"Rooter" features such mind-bending gems as: "the model for our heuristic consists of four independent components: simulated annealing, active networks, flexible modalities, and the study of reinforcement learning" and "We implemented our scatter/gather I/O server in Simula-67, augmented with opportunistically pipelined extensions."

...Stribling said conference organizers had not yet formally rescinded their invitation to present the paper.

The students were soliciting cash donations so they could attend the conference and give what Stribling billed as a "completely randomly-generated talk, delivered entirely with a straight face."

They exceeded their goal, with $2,311.09 cents from 165 donors.

Man, all this fun, and a free trip to Orlando. The space program needs to hire these guys now.

The First (And Likely Only) Friday Book Review

Hey, I don't do book reviews, or a Book of the Month Club like Oprah (unless someone wants to pay me). But a couple of books jumped on the market that are garnering some solid reviews.

First, there's on pointed out to me by RB, which is "Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything" by Steven Leavitt, reviewed by Steven Landsberg in the Wall Street Journal. As Landsburg's sub-heading notes, this is the book that shows legal abortion contributed to declining crime rates. I wonder if he can show if the Roe Effect exists.

Next, there's Ed Driscoll's review at TCS of Brian Anderson's "South Park Conservatives", a book that should trigger some solid discussion among those who believe the GOP faces some pressure as its tent grows bigger.

One final note: The Lord of Truth graciously allowed me to borrow and read the unique and very entertaining "Live From New York: An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live" by Tom Shales and James Miller. Shales' TV columns have never particularly impressed me, but this book was terrific.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled non-helpful ranting...

Great "Reporting" by the MSM

I really have to know -- is Post reporter Robin Givhan getting paid for this column? She apparently objects to John Bolton's grooming and wardrobe during his appearance before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee...

John Bolton, President Bush's nominee for ambassador to the United Nations, desperately needs a haircut. It does not have to be a $600 Sally Hershberger cut. Bolton simply needs the basics. Tidy the curling, unruly locks at the nape of his neck, tame the volume at the crown, reel in the wings flapping above his ears, and broker a compromise between his sand-colored mop and his snow-colored mustache.

He needs to do this, not because he should be minding the recommendations of men's fashion magazines or grooming experts but because when he settled in before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee this week to answer questions about his record, his philosophy and his intentions at the U.N., he looked as though he did not even have enough respect for the proceedings to bother combing his hair -- or, for that matter, straightening his tie, or wearing a shirt that did not put his neck in a chokehold. Bolton was one wrinkled suit away from being an insolent mess.

... Bolton embraces with a flourish all of the cliches that afflict so many men in Washington. During this testimony, his hand was constantly reaching up to adjust his no-frills glasses. His attire was not merely bland but careless. His hair was so poorly cut, it bordered on rude. Bolton might well argue that appearance has nothing to do with capabilities. But it certainly can be a measure of one's respect for the job.

If this is a joke, it's bad. If it's serious, it's even worse.

Hey, look, if I'm interviewing someone for an entry-level position, I'm expecting them to show up looking fancy. If I'm interviewing someone for a job where I need their experience to be a key part of the skillset, I think the appearance is somewhat secondary. Would Givhan have hired Einstein?

The Continued Adventures of Ron Mexico

It kills me that the Eagles season opener is on the road, because the abuse Michael Vick would see in Philly would be spectacular...

The NFL is trying to stop the spread of Ron Mexico.

Since that name was listed as an alias for Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick in a lawsuit filed last month, a number of people have gone to the NFL's online store to order Vick's No. 7 replica jersey with a personalized "MEXICO" on the back.

Now, fans trying to order the customized jersey get this message: "The personalization entered cannot be accepted."

The alias was printed in court documents in a civil lawsuit filed March 14 in which a woman alleges that Vick infected her with herpes. Vick has said he will fight the charges.

Among the parties listed in the lawsuit is "Ron Mexico," which the plaintiff's attorneys claim Vick has used as a pseudonym. Vick's attorney, Lawrence Woodward, did not return repeated calls to his office this week.

The Falcons have not commented on the case.

NFLShop.com, meanwhile, has added the pseudonym to its list of banned names, along with obscenities and others deemed improper.

A Web site, www.ronmexico.com, features a Ron Mexico T-shirt with a face on the front, Vick's number and "MEXICO", available for purchase at $16.07, and links to news articles about the lawsuit.

The owner of the site, a 30-year-old Chicago man who would not give his name, said that it already has been viewed at least 10,000 times and that he has sold about 100 of the T-shirts.

The attention also has thrust an unwilling Ron Mexico (not an alias) into the spotlight.

"I've been getting a ton of calls. People are asking me if I know him. I don't, of course," said Mexico, an auto-parts supplier in Brighton, Mich.

I'm guessing that I'll be able to find a Ron Mexico jersey very quickly. Like here.

Lighting the Future

Cool. I hate changing light bulbs, so I love the fact that LEDs are becoming more efficient and effective...

If a time traveler from a hundred years ago were to visit a home today, much of the technology would be completely alien. The television, cordless phone and computer would probably leave him flabbergasted. But on seeing a light bulb, he might say, "Ah! Here's something I recognize. A few of those grace my home, too."

If the visitor comes back in 15 years, the fruit of Thomas Edison's bright idea may be gone. The likely replacement: light-emitting diodes, or LEDs.

LED lamps were unthinkable until the technology cleared a major hurdle just a dozen years ago. Since then, LEDs have evolved quickly and are being adapted for many uses, including pool illumination and reading lights, as evidenced at the Lightfair trade show here this week.

More widespread use could lead to big energy savings and a minor revolution in the way we think about lighting.

LEDs have been around since the 60s, but have mostly been relegated to showing the time in an alarm clock or the battery level of a video camera.

They haven't been used as sources of illumination because they, for a long time, could not produce white light — only red, green and yellow. Nichia Chemical of Japan changed that in 1993 when it started producing blue LEDs, which combined with red and green produce white light, opening up a whole new field for the technology.

...Just this week, researchers at the Lighting Research Center at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, N.Y., said they had boosted the light output per watt of a white LED to almost six times that of an incandescent light bulb, beating even a compact fluorescent bulb in efficiency.

...But development is brisk, and the Department of Energy has estimated that LED lighting could cut national energy consumption for lighting by 29 percent by 2025. The total savings on U.S. household electric bills until then would be $125 billion.

LEDs have other advantages that are propelling them into niche uses, despite their upfront cost.

Current white LEDs will last up to 50,000 hours, about 50 times as long as a 60-watt bulb. That's almost six years if they're on constantly.

A decade ago, I might not have heard about this idea unless my newspaper (or a big newpspaer like the New York Times or Washington Post) or one of the big three networks talked about it. Technology changed that. Now it will change the light I use to read this information.

Democracy in Action

Two somewhat related stories today illustrate how democracy's supposed to work. First, we have the decision of the Connecticut legislature to pass a bill that allows civil unions for gay couples...

Connecticut's House of Representatives passed legislation Wednesday that would make the state the second to establish civil unions for same-sex couples, and the first to do so without being directed by a court.

The state Senate overwhelmingly approved a civil-unions bill last week, and lawmakers said they expect to endorse the House version as early as next week. Gov. M. Jodi Rell (R) said Wednesday that she will sign it.

Next, we have the decision of Oregon's Supreme Court nullifying gay marriage licenses issued by a county within the state...

The Oregon Supreme Court on Thursday nullified nearly 3,000 marriage licenses issued to gay couples a year ago by Portland's Multnomah County, saying a county cannot go against state matrimonial law.

"Oregon law currently places the regulation of marriage exclusively within the province of the state's legislative power," the high court said in its unanimous ruling.

The court said state law bans gay marriage. It also noted that Oregon voters approved a constitutional amendment last November that even more explicitly prohibits the practice.

The second article also notes that efforts will now get under way in Oregon to pass laws permitting civil unions. The key phrase there is to pass laws.

I know that there are many people who outright oppose gay marriages and civil unions. I know there are people who consider civil unions a half-assed half-measure. But both sides should celebrate both of these decisions.

In the former, voters who don't agree with the legislature can make efforts to toss the people who voted for this law out of office... which they could not do if judges had declared gay marriage to be legal. In the latter case, the will of the voters is respected -- they don't want gay marriage. Those who disagree can work to changes the minds of the voters.

A Sensible Solution... Disliked by Democrats

Thank you, Wisconsin Republicans...

Wisconsin lawmakers passed a bill Wednesday that would require voters to provide a driver's license or other government-issued photo identification before casting a ballot. Democratic Gov. Jim Doyle said he would veto the measure.

If the bill becomes law, Wisconsin would join South Carolina with the toughest requirements for voter identification in the country, said Jennie Drage Bowser, who tracks state election laws at the National Conference of State Legislatures.

Indiana lawmakers Tuesday passed a similar voter identification bill, and Republican Gov. Mitch Daniels has said he will probably sign the measure.

While 19 states require voters to show some form of identification, only South Carolina requires the ID be a state driver's license or a military ID with a photo. The other states allow voters to show other forms of IDs, such as student IDs or Social Security cards, or permit voters to sign affidavits.

Wisconsin Republicans who pushed the measure through both houses of the Legislature say the photo ID requirement would lessen voter fraud and protect legitimate voters.

Democrats said the bill threatened the constitutional right to vote for thousands of poor and elderly who lack photo IDs and broke with the tradition of Wisconsin, long known for its high turnout and Election-Day voter registration.

... Some 120,000 of Wisconsin's 5 million residents do not have photo IDs, state officials estimate. Two-thirds of them are elderly people who no longer drive.

Someone please explain to the Wisconsin Governor that if he's so concerned about the supposed 120,000 Wisconsinites who don't have photo ID, then he should have his party help them obtain ID cards. You can't rent a movie or enter a gym without an ID, but you can vote, which somehow makes sense to this governor. Let me put it this way -- if you can't figure out a way to get a picture ID card in our society today, then you probably can't intelligently cast a vote... which means you'll probably vote Democrat (outside Palm Beach County).

Jokes aside, I'm all for easy access to the polls. But what these advocates fail to realize is that making some access too easy allows for fraud, saps trust from the democratic process and effectively devalues all legitimate votes. Asking a voter to obtain a photo ID is akin to asking them to make an effort to show up at the polls. Some level of effort is necessary from "we the people" in order to actually exercise the rights we cherish.

Foreign Law v. The Bible

Orin Kerr makes a terrific analogy when discussing why the use of foreign law in Supreme Court decisions offends so many conservatives...

The Supreme Court's citations to foreign law have appeared in highly controversial cases at the heart of a national sociopolitical divide between (for lack of better labels) social conservativism and modern liberalism. The kinds of foreign countries that a Supreme Court Justice might know best mostly don't share this sociopolitical divide: in those countries, and especially their court systems, the views of modern liberalism for the most part have won out. In this environment, stressing similarities with foreign court decisions can seem a lot like taking sides in the culture wars.

Of course, the Supreme Court has to rule one way or another in its cases, so in one sense it has to take a side. But citing and discussing foreign law for "confirmation" of a Constitutional holding does more than rule one way or another: it is a reflection of cultural association, an indication that at least some Justices envision themselves as part of a community that happens to be strongly identified with one side of these highly contested debates. Those that object to foreign law are not really concerned that foreign law is somehow binding on the United States, or that it represents a loss of U.S. sovereignty. To the contrary: it is the very fact that such law is obviously not binding under traditional methods of constitutional interpretation that makes the discussions of foreign law most objectionable to its critics. The fact that foreign law isn't binding, but that the Justices have gone out of their way to mention it anyway, fosters the impression that the Justices identify themselves with a side in the culture wars.

If you're unpersuaded, try this experiment. Imagine that instead of citing foreign law in its decisions, the conservative majority on the Court started citing to and discussing the Bible.

Now there's a good way to help liberals blow a few gaskets. As Kerr acknowledges, the analogy isn't perfect. But it's striking that the Court chooses to follow the law of some foreign jurisdictions, but not others. Not that I'm arguing for the Court to start applying sharia law, but it shouldn't be citing to other foreign legal traditions, either. If I wanted to live under German legal traditions, I'd move to Germany... or maybe France.

A Cause We Can All Support

Every blogger -- conservative, liberal, gay, straight, black, white, green, purple, brown, Hispanic, African-American, Asian-American, Caucasian, less filling advocate, tastes great advocate -- should get behind this piece of legislation. Every citizen should...

Today in the House of Representatives, Congressman Jeb Hensarling (R-TX) introduced a companion piece of legislation to Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid's bill (S.678) to exclude the Internet from the definition of "public communication" in the Bipartisan Campaign Finance Reform Act of 2002.

This is a bill that deserves bipartisan support, and it's exciting to see it off to a good start.

In short - if this bill passes both houses and becomes law in the next 50 or-so days, the disastrous FEC rulemaking process will be rendered moot. Remember, the FEC is only creating regulations for Internet activity because Congress didn't specifically mention the Internet at all, and a federal judge ruled that even in the absence of specific direction of Congress, the FEC had to do so anyway.

This bill provides that direction, and creates that exclusion. It might not solve *all* the problems of regulation, but it's miles and away the best solution right now. I've already heard from some liberal colleagues in the blogosphere, and we're going to push this bill - and hard.

(hat tip: Instapundit). Kudos to Krempasky at Red State, and all the other bloggers who will push this, liberal and conservative.

And someone find out where John McCain stands on this piece of legislation. If he supports it, I might take back some of the nasty things I've said.

80's Nostalgia -- Another Classic

KS sends us this link, where if you click on the word "watch", you are granted a gateway to one of the funniest videos of all time. No, it's not quite as fantastic as this picture, but Mr. T's wardrobe choice is unbelieveably inspired. Camo shorts with striped tube socks... a true American original.

The Washington Follies Continue

The Washington Governor's race continues, seemingly without end. Oh, wait, it's over... not...

Three Washington counties just discovered 110 uncounted absentee ballots--including 93 from Seattle's King County--in a governor's race that occurred more than five months ago and was decided by only 129 votes. Officials in Seattle's King County admit they may find yet more ballots before a court hearing next month on whether a new election should be called. Last Friday, they reported finding a 111th ballot.

The infamous 2004 governor's race was finally decided seven weeks after the election, after King County officials found new unsecured ballots on nine separate occasions during two statewide recounts. After the new ballots were counted, Democrat Christine Gregoire won a 129-vote victory out of some three million ballots cast. Even as she was sworn in last January, King County election supervisor Dean Logan admitted it had been "a messy process."

He wasn't kidding. During the two recounts, Mr. Logan's office discovered 566 "erroneously rejected" absentee ballots, plus another 150 uncounted ones that turned up in a warehouse. Evidence surfaced that dead people had "exercised their right to vote"; documentation was presented that 900 felons in King County alone had illegally voted and that military ballots were sent out too late to be counted. A total of 700 provisional ballots had been fed into voting machines before officials had determined their validity. In the four previous November elections, King County workers had never mishandled more than nine provisional ballots in a single election.

Here's a suggestion -- try to figure out why the media refuses to discuss this story. Well, the media except for the guy at Sound Politics. Of course, as Brandon Loy observed (hat tip: Instapundit)...

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why a national popular-vote election of the president is a terrible idea. Up in the Evergreen State, there's a lawsuit scheduled for May, with the prospect of a new election in November if the judge sides with the Republicans. Imagine the governor trying to run her state under a cloud of illegitimacy and uncertainty like that. Now imagine a president in the same circumstances! He'd be veritably crippled in his ability to run the country.

The Electoral College system is imperfect, to be sure; there are steps that we could take to make it more representative. But its "safe harbor" deadline provides a built-in mechanism to end all Florida- and Washington-style lawsuits in mid-December, and the ease of counting 538 votes with perfect accuracy (as opposed to the impossibility of counting 100 million votes with perfect accuracy) virtually guarantees that we'll have a president by Jan. 20.

Most importantly, the Electoral College and the Congress have the final word. Once a president is picked and sworn in, no judge has the power to overturn the result and order a new election. That's as it should be -- as it must be.

Again, the electoral college proves the intelligence of our founders. They didn't screw this one up like everyone thinks.

More Protests -- Ugh

There are few things on this planet I hate more than IMF-World Bank protests. Pestilence. Illinois Nazis. The Dallas Cowboys.

Can't these freaks get together in a park somewhere in the country and read poetry, instead of affecting my drive into work? Yes, the protests will be smaller than in the past, which gives me hope that I won't be stuck in a three-hour traffic jam to get into the office. Actually, the past couple times, it hasn't been so bad. But it's still irritating, and it's usually small businesses such as restaurants and retailers downtown that are forced to shut down by these folks. The rest of us can telecommute and continue the oppression of the world's poor from our nice suburban homes.

These guys need to re-think their methods. Heck, go protest globalization in a mall instead of The Mall.

The John Kerry Post of the Day

My latest discovery about my favorite cheese-eating surrendermonkey-looking Ketchup King cum former Presidential candidate:

It's been a long time since I did one of these. I mean, the election was over, we won, and I spent at least a few weeks gloating like a Red Sox fan.

But I'm a sucker for nostalgia. And Long John, the King of Ketchup, the Crown Prince of Condiments, the Flip-Flopping Fool himself, made this necessary.

I've ignored the fact that he's refused to sign his Form 180 to release his military records after promising to do so on Meet The Press. Hey, he's lied before. Why would it change now?

But here comes this gem of a story regarding the Senator's continuing campaign to end what he called voter intimidation...

"Last year too many people were denied their right to vote, too many who tried to vote were intimidated," the Massachusetts senator said at an event sponsored by the state League of Women Voters.

"There is no magic wand. No one person is going to stand up and suddenly say it's going to change tomorrow. You have to do that," he said.

Kerry supporters have charged that voting irregularities in largely Democratic areas made it difficult for voters to cast ballots in the November election. A lawsuit in Ohio cited long lines and a shortage of voting machines in predominantly minority neighborhoods, but the Ohio Supreme Court dismissed the suit.

Kerry also cited examples Sunday of how people were duped into not voting.

"Leaflets are handed out saying Democrats vote on Wednesday, Republicans vote on Tuesday. People are told in telephone calls that if you've ever had a parking ticket, you're not allowed to vote," he said.

Okay. Let me find a subtle and polite way of saying this. If any Democratic voters were fooled by leaflets telling them that they were supposed to vote on Wednesday.... THEN THEY ARE COMPLETE IDIOTS AND WASTES OF SPACE.

What's even better is James Taranto's note that Kerry didn't put forth any proof of this assertion, so Taranto went looking for proof. Sure enough, he found it, in a mainstream media publication, in an article entitled "Republicans Urge Minorities To Get Out And Vote on Nov. 3rd." November 3rd was the Wednesday after the election, so maybe this was Kerry's source. Of course, maybe someone should explain to the gentleman from Cambodia that the Onion is a satirical publication.

Basically, Kerry is complaining that his voters were dumb enough to fall for a satirical joke from the Onion. And the Democrats call W. stupid?

The Left-Wing Dishrag and Tom Delay

You know, Tom DeLay has ticked off a lot of people recently. I won't say that all of the criticism is unwarranted. But the campaign to tear him down is moving forward with the media as a willing accomplice, as noted by Robert Novak...

On March 24, former Congressman Bob Livingston was sent an e-mail by a New York Times editorial page staffer suggesting he write an op-ed essay. Would Livingston, who in 1998 gave up certain elevation to be House speaker because of a sexual affair, write about how Majority Leader Tom DeLay should now act under fire? In a subsequent conversation, it was made clear the Times wanted the prominent Republican to say DeLay should step aside for the good of the party.

Livingston in effect declined by responding that if he wrote anything for the Times, it would be pro-DeLay. But this remarkable case of that august newspaper fishing for an op-ed piece makes it appear part of a calculated campaign to bring down the single most powerful Republican in Congress. The Democratic establishment and left-wing activists have targeted DeLay as the way to end a decade of Republican control of the House.

As Novak noted, the Times (again, people wonder why I call it a left-wing dishrag) is likely crossing the line from doing reporting to doing something else -- furthering the agenda of people who would like to bring down DeLay. I don't think Livingston's views are all that newsworthy on this topic, but if they're worth printing, they're worth printing either way.

Personally, I think DeLay went over the top in his comments on the Schiavo case. That's not worthy of resignation -- it's not Trent Lott from two years ago. It's the ethics charges which are more troubling, and deserve to be fully examined. But it's not like other politicians don't have similar charges that need to be aired and reviewed -- and these are fish who are just as big, such as Harry Reid. Somebody call me when the left-wing dishrag gets interested in that one.

A Little Bit of Law From Georgia

David Bernstein over at the Volokh Conspiracy has an interesting post about a new law in Georgia. For a basic understanding, the issue is the standard of admissibility to be applied to expert testimony being offered in criminal and civil cases. Georgia's legislature expressly approves the use of the so-called Daubert trilogy by state courts in deciding the admissibility of expert testimony in civil cases. As Bernstein notes, this is a good start, since Daubert imposed a more restrictive standard on the types of evidence that could be offered by experts in civil litigation. But Bernstein notes the following problem when he turns to the criminal side...

However, the law also requires that even the junkiest of junk scienc be admissible in criminal cases: "In criminal cases, the opinions of experts on any question of science, skill, trade, or like questions shall always be admissible; and such opinions may be given on the facts as proved by other witnesses." This test--that any loosely qualified expert can say virtually anything he wants in court, with no screening beyond his c.v.--is what junk science foes have disparagingly called the "let-it-all-in philosophy."

Bernstein follows that up by noting why this is a problem -- defense attorneys, particularly public defenders, often lack the resources to challenge prosecution experts or hire their own experts. Since the judge is no longer allowed to serve as a gatekeeper to determine whether such evidence should be admitted, opinions will be admitted that should (logically) be excluded.

I note this post by Bernstein for a couple of reasons. First, it runs counter to what you see in popular mediums. If you are a longtime devotee of TV shows like Law and Order, you may think it's usually the defense that's trying to get some cockamamie scientifict theory admitted in court. That may well happen under this new law -- there is the issue of unintended consequences -- but it's more likely that we'll see a lot of cases where prosecutors use this law to their benefit.

The second note is that this is another case where the blogosphere is valuable. I don't know how many MSM news outlets are covering this story or issue, or have discussed it in sufficient detail. To be fair, the issue is not one that will spark a lot of mainstream interest, and it's not one that falls within the expertise of many reporters. But it is a situation where the public should learn about it, and having a blogger with a particular expertise (like Bernstein) come forward and discuss it builds a better public discourse.

How Pert Plus Might Save the World

Well, this explains the smog in L.A...

Millions of tons of dandruff are circling the Earth, blocking out sunlight, causing rain and spreading disease, startling new research shows.

Flaky as it may seem, the research - partly funded by the German government - may provide the solution to one of the world's most enduring pollution mysteries: the origin of much of the vast clouds of fine dust in the atmosphere. It suggests that more than half of the dust is a rich soup of organic detritus, including particles of decaying leaves, animal hair, dead skin and dandruff.

The research is published in the April issue of Science magazine by Dr Ruprecht Jaenicke of Mainz University - who has been leading the study for the past 15 years - and says "it has got to be taken very seriously".

The discovery has intrigued scientists, who have long known that countless billions of tiny particles - some 8,000 times smaller than the thickness of a human hair - are wafted around the globe, affecting the climate and reducing the amount of sunlight reaching the earth by one 10th, with incalculable consequences for agriculture.

It is known that about 60 per cent of them come from pollution, soot, dust, ash, desert sand and sea salt, but the origin of the rest has remained a mystery.

Now after taking air samples from the Amazon to Greenland, and Germany to Russia's Lake Baikal, Dr Jaenicke calculates that there are a billion tons of organic detritus in the atmosphere.

"Whenever you brush your hair or take off a sweater, you release a cloud of biological dust," he says. "When a bird flies through the air it leaves behind particles from its feathers, and when the wind blows through a tree it releases dust from the leaves."

(hat tip: The Corner) Thank God the German government paid for this study. Now we know that when we shampoo, we need to follow the instruction that says "repeat."

High Education: Higher Costs and Lower Return

Instapundit notes an interesting column in the Washington Post regarding the growing frustration of middle-class parents and their college-age kids who are paying absurd tuition rates for a less-than-acceptable college education...

With faculty and administrations leading the way, political correctness and posturing -- from both the left and right -- is reaching dizzying heights in the land of the ivory tower. And rising right along with it is the frustration of middle-class parents, who are growing increasingly resentful of paying sky-high tuition for colleges they see offering their kids a menu of questionable courses and politically absurd campus climates that detract from the quality of a university education.

...Duke University found itself in a crossfire after voluntarily hosting an anti-Israel group's annual national conference. The president of Columbia University had to appoint a commission to look into student charges that certain professors, with whose views on the Middle East conflict the students disagreed, were attempting to indoctrinate and intimidate them. Hamilton College issued a speaking invitation to a University of Colorado professor who had written an essay arguing that the 9/11 attacks were a justified reaction to U.S. policies abroad. And locally, a ruckus broke out at George Mason University after it invited filmmaker Michael Moore to campus -- and then disinvited him after receiving political pressure from Virginia lawmakers to cancel the speech.

...In 18 years of in-the-trenches experience counseling kids on their college choices, I've never seen the unhappiness as widespread as it is today. If colleges don't tone down the politics, and figure out how to control ballooning costs, they run the risk of turning off enough American consumers that many campuses could marginalize themselves right out of existence.

Colleges are having an ever-harder time making what they do comprehensible to the families footing the bills. I counsel families of all political stripes -- liberal, conservative and in-between -- and varied income levels, but they all agree on one thing: the overly politicized atmosphere on campuses is distracting colleges from providing a solid education to our young people.

Yes, I do get some students who expressly wish to apply to either a liberal or a conservative college. But the vast majority are simply eager to find a school that will help them advance in their intellectual and professional lives. They're flabbergasted by courses with titles like "Pornography and Evolution," "The Beatles Era," or "Introduction to Material Culture," as well as educational values that appear only tangentially related to the reality of their lives.

As a consultant, I feel the need to advise my clients to cover all their political bases. Recently, I was advising an Eagle Scout who was justifiably proud of his accomplishment and wanted to highlight it on his college applications. But I worried that the national Boy Scouts' stand against homosexuals as scout leaders might somehow count against him in the admissions process at some schools. So I suggested that he get involved in an AIDS hotline to show his sensitivity to an issue often linked to the gay community.

The author's statements are necessaarily anecdotal. But my law school experience taught me that attending a less prestigious school or even a state school does not limit one's choices for a future career. Ultimately, a college education is an investment in your future, an attempt to enhance your earning power. If college becomes too expensive (and it's fast doing so) the benefit of going to college will be outweighed by the costs. It's impossible for tuition rates to continue rising at this pace without backlash, and the added stupidity of some tenured professors will only make it worse.

In the end, people will still seek to send their kids to top schools. But those of us who graduated as part of this generation of students may have a different view of what constitutes a top school when our children reach this point.

A Little Bit of Good News for Eagles Fans

I'm as panicked about the T.O. contract imbroglio as I could be. But let's focus on the good news. The NFL Draft is in two weeks, and the Birds have 13 (that's thirteen) picks in the seven rounds, as follows...

First: 31st

Second: 35th (Acquired from Miami
in 2004 trade for A.J. Feeley)

Second: 63d

Third: 77th (Acquired from Kansas City with
2004 fifth-round pick (Thomas Tapeh) in 2004 trade for John
Welbourn)

Third: 94th

Fourth: 132d

Fifth: 146th (Acquired from Washington in 2004
trade for James Thrash)

Fifth: 167th

Fifth: 172d (Compensatory pick awarded from NFL for loss
of free agents in 2004)

Sixth: 211th (Compensatory pick awarded from NFL for loss
of free agents in 2004)

Seventh: 245th

Seventh: 247th (Compensatory pick awarded from NFL for
loss of free agents in 2004)

Seventh: 252d (Compensatory pick awarded from NFL for loss of
free agents in 2004)

Once again, this organization knows how to manage the cap and draft. That's five first day picks to maneuver up in the draft. Lord only knows the Dolphins wish they had that second-rounder back.

Will they trade up? Reid's done it each of the last two years, and he has the ammo to do it. I'd expect to see a running back, a wide receiver and a defensive tackle as the top priority, although safety, kick returner, defensive end and offensive tackle are all possibilities.

I Did Not Shake His Hand!

You know, there are those who would like to believe that the enemies of freedom are folks who can be appeased and are willing to compromise. Then, there are stories like this...

Iranian President Mohammad Khatami strongly denied shaking hands and chatting with Israeli President Moshe Katsav at Pope John Paul II's funeral, state-run media reported Saturday.

But while Iran “morally and logically” doesn't recognize Israel, Khatami said the Islamic republic, which backs several anti-Israeli militant groups, will not interfere in the Israeli-Palestinian peace process.

Following the pope's mass funeral on Friday, Katsav said he shook hands and chatted briefly with Khatami and Bashar Assad, leaders of Israel's archenemies, Iran and Syria.

Syria on Friday confirmed the handshake between Syrian president Assad and Katsav, but downplayed its political significance.

But after returning to Iran, Khatami denied shaking Katsav's hand.

“These allegations are false like other allegations made by Israeli media and I have not had any meeting with any one from Zionist (Israeli) regime,” the state-run Islamic Republic News Agency quoted Khatami as saying.

...The Iranian-born Katsav said he and Khatami conversed about Yazd, the region in central Iran where both men were born. “The two of us were born in the same region in Iran, two years apart,” Katsav was quoted as saying. Iranian-born Katsav said he spoke in his native Farsi to Khatami about their common city of birth.

“The president of Iran extended his hand to me, I shook it and told him in Farsi, ‘May peace be upon you,”' Katsav said.

(hat tip: Captain's Quarters). I'm sure there's some sort of domestic political taboo in Iran against shaking the hand of an Isreali official. To be fair, if Bush was caught shaking hands with Robert Mugabe, I'd chastise him for it. But there's a difference between Mugabe, who's a murdering dictator, and the President of Isreal, since he's the legitmately elected leader of a functioning democracy that, contrary to Islamic press reports, isn't actively killing innocent people.

But even if you want to give them the benefit of the doubt and think that Iran may have legitmate reasons to detest Isreal... does it really make sense to issue a childlike denial of a handsake?

The Scurvy Dogs Ere Be Defeated

I don't usually do an update on student body elections at North Carolina State University, but this kind of news is worthy of consideration. Maybe this guy should run for Congress as well...

Amidst raucous cheers and hearty applause from the audience, Elections Commission Chair Bonnie Pierson announced results for the 2005 Spring General Elections Wednesday night on Harris Field.

Although none of the four candidates vying for the position of student body president received the majority vote required, candidates Will Quick and The Pirate Captain rose above the fray and will go head to head in a runoff election next week.

Forrest Hinton and Tommy Ozbolt will also face off next week in runoffs, with Ozbolt leaving candidate John Small behind by a two percent margin.

This semester's election marked a record high in voter turnout, which totaled almost 27 percent of the student population, according to Pierson.

The fact was punctuated by the close to 150 students present at the announcement, several of whom where decked in anything from full pirate regalia to cardboard pirate hats obtained from the seafood chain Long John Silvers.

"I hear we got record turnout," the Captain said. "I bae nothing but impressed."

The Captain also said he was thrilled with the prospect of participating in the runoffs and inspired by the support.

"I couldn't bae happier," the Captain said. "The wind bae in our sails. It warms our souls and carries our boats."

Quick, who lost the popular vote to the Captain 44 to 21 percent, said that he felt good about the election results and was confident in his ability to come out on top next week.

"I felt from the beginning that I would be in the runoff, it was just a matter of who," Quick said. "Of course I'm disappointed that I didn't win, but the past is behind me and I'm focusing on the runoff."

Although he said he was "surprised that The Pirate Captain had received that much support," Quick said he never overlooked the possibilities of the candidate during his campaign.

"I wouldn't say that I over- or underestimated The Pirate Captain," Quick said. "[He] was a hard factor to predict."

Will Langley, visibly disappointed after his defeat, said that he felt the elections sparked student interest and motivated students to get out and vote.

"The Pirate Captain definitely got the student body involved," Langley said. "I hate that he had to make a mockery of the system to make it happen."

Langley said the students need the right person for the job, and that he hopes the Pirate Captain will realize that, if elected, the position of student body president is a "serious job."

In an emotional address to his campaign team late last night, candidate Lock Whiteside thanked those that he said made invaluable contributions to his quest for the position.

"I'll never forget this election," Whiteside said. "You all had my back, and I'll never forget that."

First of all, I'd like to declare my full support of the Pirate Captain. I doubt it would make much of a difference to the students at N.C. State if they elected a gerbil to the position.

Second, I love the names of the candidates in this election. Forrest Hinton and Lock Whiteside are names that will now be considered when I have a son.

Last, how come I never thought of this in college?