Friday, January 28, 2005

And I Didn't Even Mention Mary Jo

I have, on occasion, mocked the junior Senator from Massachusetts. Truth be old, he's a pompous blowhard whose political beliefs I question, and whose conduct upon his return from his duty in Vietnam I find reprehensible. But to be fair, while there are questions about his service, he served his country, and continues to serve his country and his constituents. And while he has his personal peccadillos, I think he probably qualifies as an okay guy and a decent human being.

I can't say any of that for the senior Senator from Massachusetts.

Yesterday, this "public servant" threw out a speech at the Johns Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies where he suggested that we begin leaving Iraq. The general proposal is one an honorable person can make -- that we have failed in Iraq, and that our continued presence is a problem that can only be solved by withdrawal. I don't think the facts bear this out -- but one can make an honorable stab at such an argument.

Senator Kennedy -- whose status as a "senior statesman" within his party says a lot about his party -- chose a route that, to be charitable, displays an appalling disconnect from reality. His obsession with turning this war into another Vietnam is evident in the opening...

Forty years ago, America was in another war in a distant land. At that time, in 1965, we had in Vietnam the same number of troops and the same number of casualties as in Iraq today.

We thought in those early days in Vietnam that we were winning. We thought the skill and courage of our troops was enough. We thought that victory on the battlefield would lead to victory in the war, and peace and democracy for the people of Vietnam.

We lost our national purpose in Vietnam. We abandoned the truth. We failed our ideals. The words of our leaders could no longer be trusted.

In the name of a misguided cause, we continued the war too long. We failed to comprehend the events around us. We did not understand that our very presence was creating new enemies and defeating the very goals we set out to achieve. We cannot allow that history to repeat itself in Iraq.
As I've noted in the past, I am sick and tired of 60's-obsessed liberals dredging up Vietnam every time an American soldier burps on the soil of a foreign country. But perhaps I should expect this from Senator Quagmire. What's really bad about the speech is that the opening, while exactly the sort of drivel one might expect, isn't the part that offended me. Neither is the statement that the U.S. military is now "part of the problem, rather than part of the solution." Way to buck up the troops, you putz.

But here's the part of Kennedy's speech that made my blood boil...

Beyond the insurgency’s numbers, it has popular and tacit support from thousands of ordinary Iraqis who are aiding and abetting the attacks as a rejection of the American occupation. It is fueled by the anger of ever-larger numbers of Iraqis – not just Saddam loyalists - who have concluded that the United States is either unable or unwilling to provide basic security, jobs, water, electricity and other services.

Anti-American sentiment is steadily rising. CDs that picture the insurrection have spread across the country. Songs glorify combatants. Poems written decades ago during the British occupation after World War I are popular again.

The International Crisis Group, a widely respected conflict prevention organization, recently reported, “These post-war failings gradually were perceived by many Iraqis as purposeful,… designed to serve Washington’s interests to remain for a prolonged period in a debilitated Iraq.”

We have the finest military in the world. But we cannot rely primarily on military action to end politically inspired violence. We can’t defeat the insurgents militarily if we don’t effectively address the political context in which the insurgency flourishes. Our military and the insurgents are fighting for the same thing – the hearts and minds of the people – and that is a battle we are not winning.
Can someone get this guy a hanky and clean up the puddle by his feet?

Seriously, send him to France. That speech is obscene for any number of reasons, but the stench of defeatism is so absurd that it boggles the mind. Kennedy seems to believe that the insurgency -- people who are rolling through the streets threatening to murder men and women if they go vote -- are winning hearts and minds. By this standard, Charlie Manson and Ted Bundy must be adored in California and Florida. Kennedy's talking about, at best, 40,000 militants and sympathizers... in a country of over 17 million people. Yeah, that's hearts and minds. Idiot.

Do liberals even think when they spew this stuff? Or is "hearts and minds" just a standard phrase people use? And can someone get Kennedy committed?

Thursday, January 27, 2005

You Call Me French, I Kill You

The Lord of Truth points out the opening to Peggy Noonan's column defending herself from those who decried her criticism of President Bush's Inaugural Address...

I have been called old, jaded, a sourpuss. Far worse, I have been called French. A response is in order.
If she was really French, she probably would have surrendered to the criticism.

What Annoying Song is Stuck in My Head Today?

If I need to suffer with a song stuck in my head, why shouldn't you have to do the same? Sometimes they're good, most times they're bad... but no matter what, they make you suffer. So I like to share the suffering whenever it happens.

A personal favorite, and the only song from the musical Chess that I know. Heck, the only song from the musical that anyone probably knows.

It's Murray Head with a tribute to Thailand...

Bangkok, Oriental setting
And the city don't know that the city is getting
The creme de la creme of the chess world in a
Show with everything but Yul Brynner

Time flies -- doesn't seem a minute
Since the Tirolean spa had the chess boys in it
All change -- don't you know that when you
Play at this level there's no ordinary venue

It's Iceland -- or the Philippines -- or Hastings -- or -- or this place!

One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
And if you're lucky then the god's a she
I can feel an angel sliding up to me

One town's very like another
When your head's down over your pieces, brother

It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity
To be looking at the board, not looking at the city

Whaddya mean? Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town --

Tea, girls, warm, sweet
Some are set up in the Somerset Maugham suite

Get Thai'd! You're talking to a tourist
Whose every move's among the purest
I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine

One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me

Siam's gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of cerebral fitness
This grips me more than would a
Muddy old river or reclining Buddha

And thank God I'm only watching the game -- controlling it --

I don't see you guys rating
The kind of mate I'm contemplating
I'd let you watch, I would invite you
But the queens we use would not excite you

So you better go back to your bars, your temples, your massage parlours --

One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
A little flesh, a little history
I can feel an angel sliding up to me

One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me
You're welcome.

What a Jerk

Well, it's good that moral cretins still exist at America's institutions of higher learning...

A University of Colorado professor has sparked controversy in New York over an essay he wrote that maintains that people killed in the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks were not innocent victims.

Students and faculty members at Hamilton College in Clinton, N.Y., have been protesting a speaking appearance on Feb. 3 by Ward L. Churchill, chairman of the CU Ethnic Studies Department.

They are upset over an essay Churchill wrote titled, "Some People Push Back: On the Justice of Roosting Chickens."

The essay takes its title from a remark that black activist Malcolm X made in the wake of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

Malcolm X created controversy when he said Kennedy's murder was a case of "chickens coming home to roost."

Churchill's essay argues that the Sept. 11 attacks were in retaliation for the Iraqi children killed in a 1991 U.S. bombing raid and by economic sanctions imposed on Iraq by the United Nations following the Persian Gulf War.

The essay contends the hijackers who crashed airplanes into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon on Sept. 11 were "combat teams," not terrorists.

It states: "The most that can honestly be said of those involved on Sept. 11 is that they finally responded in kind to some of what this country has dispensed to their people as a matter of course."

The essay maintains that the people killed inside the Pentagon were "military targets."

"As for those in the World Trade Center," the essay said, "well, really, let's get a grip here, shall we? True enough, they were civilians of a sort. But innocent? Gimme a break."

The essay goes on to describe the victims as "little Eichmanns," referring to Adolph Eichmann, who executed Adolph Hitler's plan to exterminate Jews during World War II.
Okay, who actually invites this guy to give a speech? I mean, is it required to invite a complete creep visit and give a speech? The guy has the freedom to be an idiot. It doesn't mean anyone should actually invite him to their institution.

I don't want to get into the fact that the taxpayers of Colorado are supplementing his paycheck, since he's a state employee.

The Red Sox Fan Who Missed the World Series

Okay, after reading this story, I'm really nervous about falling into a coma in the next 11 days, before the Super Bowl...

Here's a movie idea: diehard Red Sox fan falls into a coma before the 2004 playoffs, spends the next four weeks fighting for his life, then regains his senses after the World Series. He survives ... only he feels ripped off, because as millions of Sox fans say, "I saw them win in my lifetime," this poor guy is the one who didn't see anything.

Never mind. It's too improbable, right?

To The Coma Guy, this moment still seems like a dream.

Meet Steven Manganello, known from this day forward in Red Sox history as The Coma Guy. Growing up in Maine, his family followed the Sox because his grandfather did, one more diehard who ended up with these dates on his tombstone: 1917-2003. Ouch.

Last September, Steven scheduled a Japan vacation that would get him home two days before the playoffs began. On Oct. 1, the final night of his trip, he crossed a street in Tokyo and ... well, this is where it gets hazy. That tends to happen when you're pancaked by a taxi travelling at an estimated 50 mph. Steven spent the next four weeks in a Tokyo hospital, battling a potentially fatal brain hemorrhage, not to mention paralysis, a punctured lung and other critical injuries. The collision was so violent, he didn't just have five broken ribs, one of them had actually flipped around inside his body. Steven's head was so swollen that when his brother, Anthony, showed up the next day, he swears it was "three times its normal size."

In the movies, people spring out of a coma like Adrian in Rocky II, as if nothing happened. In real life, there's a tube jammed down your throat and enough drugs pump through your veins to bring Keith Richards to his knees. For 17 days Steven was a blank slate. Sometimes he woke for a few minutes, but his short-term memory was demolished. That didn't stop Anthony from constantly feeding him playoff updates, hoping the positive news would stimulate something in his brother. When the Sox dropped those first three to the Yanks, Anthony even lied, pretending they were winning. Anything to keep his brother going. When Steven heard the "good" news, he'd squeeze his brother's hand -- it was all he could do. A few minutes later, as Anthony puts it, "He'd be on vacation again."

When the Yankees orchestrated the Greatest Choke in Sports History, a semiconscious Steven was still disoriented (channeling Grady Little of the previous October). When the Sox won it all and his friends and family called to share the moment, he understood ... for about five minutes. Then he forgot what happened. It was like SNL's old Mr. Short-Term Memory sketch. As Steven says, "I could remember my childhood phone number, but I couldn't remember somebody's name." It wasn't until he flew home to California in November that his brain started to work again. By Thanksgiving, Steven was well enough to fully grasp two things: "Holy crap, I almost died!" and "Holy crap, the Red Sox won the World Series!"
The only way this would be worse is if the taxi cab driver was a Yankees fan.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Only in California, Part 476,133

Sometimes, I just can't think of a lead worthy of the story itself...

Four Sacramento, California firefighters who admitted to having sex while on duty have been suspended pending an investigation, a spokesman for the city's fire department said on Tuesday.

The three men, including a captain, admitted to having sex with a fourth firefighter, a woman, while on duty. Superiors put all four on administrative leave on Monday, marking the second recent sex scandal to hit the sleepy state capital's fire department.

"The four individuals have admitted to having sex in the firehouse," said Captain Niko King, a spokesman for the department. "They even conspired to keep it secret by putting one person on watch so they wouldn't get caught."

The firefighters face disciplinary action ranging from time off without pay to dismissal, said King, noting officials took quick action as rumors of on-duty sex circulated through the department.

The probe follows an investigation after city firefighters attended a local porn-star costume ball last July.
Maybe it's just me, but I don't think they have those "porn star costume balls" in D.C. Although Bill Clinton probably wishes he'd thought of it.

I'll Still Take a Natural Light

Here's a Miller High Life commercial waiting to happen...

Going against the grain in courting the young cocktail crowd, beermaker Anheuser-Busch Cos. (BUD) is launching a new "brew" to go head-to-head with classic mixed drinks — traditional suds spiked with caffeine, fruit flavoring, herbal guarana and ginseng.

The world's largest brewer's nationwide rollout this week of B-to-the-E — the "B" standing for beer, the "E" for something "extra" and shown as an exponent of B — came as beermakers look to piggyback strides liquor companies have made in luring young consumers to flavored and mixed drinks.

Anheuser-Busch test marketed B-to-the-E from in the fall, eventually assessing in 55 U.S. cities whether the new "beer" appealed to 20-something consumers craving something zippy in their highly social, fast-paced lifestyles.


I'm personally opposed to calling this stuff beer. Then again, I feel the same way about Busch.

Advice and Consent -- and Try Not to Waste Our Time

The confirmation of Condi Rice as Secretary of State took place today, despite the concerted effort of a number of Democratic Senators to complain for no reason. Well, Sen. John McCain thinks he knows the reason...

On the Senate floor Wednesday, Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., suggested Democrats are sore losers. Rice had enough votes to win confirmation, as even her Democratic critics acknowledge, McCain said.

"So I wonder why we are starting this new Congress with a protracted debate about a foregone conclusion," McCain said. Since Rice is qualified for the job, he said, "I can only conclude that we are doing this for no other reason than because of lingering bitterness over the outcome of the election."
Democrats? Bitter? Say it ain't so! The real issue is whether anyone will question the legitimacy of the 85-13 vote. Maybe there's some election irregularities they can dredge up.

Fonzie Would Have Kicked Their Butts

Those fair-minded folks on the left would never try to stop someone from voting...

The investigation into the Great Tire-Slashing Caper will end Monday with felony charges against the adult sons of two prominent Milwaukee politicians - U.S. Rep. Gwen Moore and former Acting Mayor Marvin Pratt.

Sources close to the 83-day-old probe said Sowande Omokunde, Michael Pratt and three other paid Democratic activists will each be charged with a single felony count of criminal damage to property, legalese for vandalism.

Omokunde, also known as Supreme Solar Allah, is the 25-year-old son of the rookie congresswoman. Pratt, 32, worked on Kerry's local campaign, which was chaired by his father.

Pratt, Omokunde and the other staffers will be accused of cutting the tires of some 20 vans and cars rented by the state Republican Party to usher the party faithful to and from the polls on election day. The charges will state that the damage to the vehicles was well in excess of $2,500 - the minimum required to merit a felony.

...The police probe started on the morning of Nov. 2, when officials discovered that vandals had shredded about two dozen tires on 20 vehicles rented by the state GOP. The vehicles were parked in the 7100 block of W. Capitol Drive.

That night, police arrested Opel Simmons III, a veteran Democratic activist who was in town drumming up support for U.S. Sen. John Kerry's failed presidential campaign. Simmons, who was held by Milwaukee authorities for two days, is back in Virginia and is not expected to be charged, sources said.

As part of the case, FBI agents interviewed witnesses in four states from New York to Georgia, though none of those out-of-staters is expected to be charged. Those Democrats were also here to help with the Kerry effort.

Sources say that investigators caught a break in the case because the slashings quickly became the talk of the Kerry headquarters on the morning of Nov. 2.

"People came back and bragged about what they did," said one source.

Added a second: "Ultimately, they didn't see this as a badge of shame that they needed to hide from their co-workers."
No, their badge of shame was probably working for Kerry. Or hanging out with a guy named Supreme Solar Allah.

The World's Most Famous Billboard Salesman Speaks Out

Sounds like Ted Turner may be off his medication again...

Ted Turner called Fox a propaganda tool of the Bush administration and indirectly compared Fox News Channel's popularity to Adolf Hitler's popular election to run Germany before World War II.

Turner made those fiery comments in his first address at the National Association for Television Programming Executives' conference since he was ousted from Time Warner Inc. five years ago.

The 66-year-old billionaire, who leveraged a television station in Atlanta into a media empire, made the comment before a standing-room-only crowd at NATPE's opening session Tuesday.

His no-nonsense, sometimes humorous, approach during the one-hour Q&A generated frequent loud applause and laughter.

Fox wasn't laughing, however. "Ted is understandably bitter having lost his ratings, his network, and now his mind," said a Fox News spokesperson. "We wish him well."
Personally, I think Turner lost the right to be taken seriously when he married Jane Fonda. The fact that he divorced her does not excuse him from that lapse in judgement, since it took him a decade or so to figure out that it was a dumb idea.

This is the same guy who once told Phillies owner Bill Giles, "I'm gonna conquer the world through television." Man, it must suck to get whipped by Rupert Murdoch at your own dream.

Idiots, Morons, and Losers

Sorry, I just wanted to make sure I put that into the title, so that it wasn't too close to this story about "No Name-Calling Week"...

Using a young readers' novel called "The Misfits" as its centerpiece, middle schools nationwide will participate in a "No Name-Calling Week" initiative starting Monday. The program, now in its second year, has the backing of groups from the Girl Scouts to Amnesty International but has also drawn complaints that it overemphasizes harassment of gay youths.

The initiative was developed by the New York-based Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network, which seeks to ensure that schools safely accommodate students of all sexual orientations. GLSEN worked with James Howe, the openly gay author of "The Misfits" and many other popular children's books.

"Gay students aren't the only kids targeted — this isn't about special rights for them," Howe said. "But the fact is that 'faggot' is probably the most common insult at schools."

"The Misfits" deals with four much-taunted middle schoolers — one of them gay — who run for the student council on a platform advocating an end to nasty name-calling.

GLSEN is unsure how many schools will participate in this week's event, but says 5,100 educators from 36 states have registered, up from 4,000 last year. Participation in a related writing-music-art contest rose from 100 students last year to 1,600 this year; the winning poem was written by Sue Anna Yeh, a 13-year-old from Sugar Land, Texas.

"No Name-calling Week" takes aim at insults of all kinds — whether based on a child's appearance, background or behavior. But a handful of conservative critics have zeroed in on the references to harassment based on sexual orientation.
I think both the promoters and the conservative groups are off track here. First, having one week where kids aren't supposed to call one another names implies that civility should not be a concern the other 51 weeks of the year. Hell, later in the article, one of the promoters actually acknowledges this fact, but seems to think "raising the visibility" of the issue is more important. Yeesh. In all seriousness, wouldn't it just be better if schools actually promoted civility year-round?

Second, there's a stench of hypocricy on both sides to this. Many of those protesting the idea of tolerance for gays being taught actually come from religious backgrounds that teach tolerance, so one might think twice about looking at this in the same way. In the meantime, many of the same folks promoting such a program would be the first to find an ACLU rep and sue if someone tried to teach tolerance using quotations from a Bible in a public school.

Finally, I'm really tired of victim mentalities. Is middle school a tough place? Heck yes. But so's the real world. People can be cruel for absolutely no reason -- for example, some people actually expect me to work for my paycheck. Someone's calling you a name? Worse things will happen to you. I'm not saying that kids aren't particularly vulnerable to adverse effects from insults. But promoting a one-week break is hardly the way to solve their problems. Do they spend the rest of the year wearing earplugs?

Finally, focus on this quote from one of the promoters:
"People who would criticize this, regardless of who came out with it, are people with bad hearts," said Jerald Newberry, who directs the NEA's health information network.
Hey! You insulted me, in the middle of No Name-Calling Week! I'm gonna tell!

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Can You Help Us, Eh?

Hysterical apology from Citizen Smash...

Chris has a point -- the United States needs to stop "playing Superman." Furthermore, we should apologize to each of those nations that we have “liberated” by force of arms.

...Twice in the past hundred years, the United States sent troops to Western Europe to fight for “freedom.” To the people of France, Luxembourg, Belgium, the Netherlands, Norway, Denmark, and Austria, we offer our most heartfelt apologies for interfering in your affairs. Please rest assured that it won’t happen again.

...After subjecting their citizens to all-out war, the United States forced Germany, Japan, and Italy to “democratize.” We apologize for being so presumptuous. In retrospect, we should have trusted you to come up with your own form of government -- we’re certain you would have been much better off in the long run, left to your own devices.

... Similarly, we apologize for “interfering” with the socialist revolution in Vietnam. It is indeed fortunate that we ultimately failed in establishing a viable democratic state in the South – as any one of the 1.5 million Vietnamese now living in America will eagerly attest.

...We apologize to all the people in Afghanistan for putting an end to the Taliban regime. We now understand that you preferred to use your soccer stadiums for public executions, rather than, well, soccer.

Finally, we apologize to the people of Iraq for deposing and imprisoning Saddam Hussein. Clearly, you were better off with a good “disciplinarian” running your country – we’ll just set him free, pack up our stuff, and go home.

That is what you want, right?

P.S. If you need any help in the future, please call Canada.
That's right, Celine Dion and Brian Adams should be available to help you.

Crucial Issue

The important question of the week: Will Pat's King of Steaks change their name for the next two weeks?

Perhaps it should become Andy's. Or Donovan's.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Finally

You know, sometimes you wonder if being a sports fan is worth it.

Days like this one made me wonder.

And this one.

And even this one, when even victory was offset by the pain of injury.

But then, you have a weekend like this last one, and you remember why you fell in love with sports in the first place.

First, let me congratulate the men's basketball team at my alma mater. They've been through a long run of adversity (some of it self-imposed, the rest just bad luck) to get to Saturday's huge win over Kansas. The effort on Saturday was impressive, but the attitude was even better. Villanova expected to win the game, and, as noted by the Kansas Redhead (who enjoyed the game more than anyone else did), after they seized a big lead in the second half, they didn't stop playing. They didn't just drive the final nails into the coffin, they hoisted the coffin into the grave, threw the dirt on it, and erected the tombstone. Great, great effort.

And then, there was yesterday.

God bless you, Iggles.

I sat at home, expecting victory, knowing that we had the better team this year, and hoping that nothing strange would counter that.

The fake field goal early on -- it upset me when it didn't work, but it set a needed tone. Reid wasn't holding back. Neither was McNabb, who scrambled when necessary and ran for yardage like the Donovan of old (or the Donovan of youth) while throwing passes and trusting his receivers (particularly Greg Lewis) to beat the defender for the ball.

And Dorsey Levens' effort on the first TD, as well as Chad Lewis' effort on the second... I still remember a much more talented tight end, Keith Jackson, dropping a sure TD in the Fog Bowl. Lewis' catch survived replay review, finally removing the sting of a TD that was (correctly) called back against Washington in 1990, ending the Buddy Ryan tenure. Okay, they could have put the game away early(damn ticky-tack call on Mike Lewis erasing Sheldon Brown's INT), but they just seemed to be in control.

The defense -- even when they yielded points, Atlanta paid a price. Dawk's hit on Crumpler was sensational. Dunn scored the TD, but I kept thinking at halftime that the defense was getting ready to shut them down, if they could only avoid a bad penalty. They did that in the second half, and McNabb and Westbrook took over. Westbrook did us Villanova alums proud, not just with his production, but with his intelligence -- those late game plays where he stayed in bounds to keep the clock ticking were fabulous.

Hell, even the commercials were good. The Minister of War mentioned the referee getting yelled at by his wife as particularly good, and I've come to enjoy the Cherry Pepsi commercial far too much, since the Eagles fan on the couch steals the Cherry Pepsi from the guy's hand that is sticking out from the floor, then kicks the hand back down. With that being said, the Minister and I are in full agreement -- the Dr. Pepper ad with "Stacy's Mom" is really disturbing. But I digress.

When Chad Lewis grabbed that TD pass with 3:48 left, I saw the celebration begin in earnest. I didn't actually celebrate until they kicked the extra point, since I was still concerned about Akers' injury.

At that point, I wanted the game to end, but I wanted the feeling to last forever.

The smile got bigger when Reid took the Gatorade shower. I've been dying to see one of our coaches take that bath since LT started dumping the bucket on Parcells. And Big Red -- he deserved it. A great guy and a great coach, who's never wavered on his principles and preparation.

I sat at home and just went kind of numb when it finally ended. There was a smile frozen on my face, a dumb, goofy grin that didn't want to stop. The Priest of Parliament Lights tells me that grown men were weeping in the stands at the Linc, and I know what they felt. Seemingly everyone in the stadium looked like they were hugging one another. Trust me, that feeling isn't one that happens in Philly often.

And the guys on the platform -- Reid, McNabb, Dawkins -- the emotion could be felt through that screen. I've never seen Andy Reid like that -- so emotional that he basically guaranteed T.O. would play in the Super Bowl. I hope he's right, but I'm also glad to see that side of him.

And yeah, I know this isn't the end. We have one game left. But what we've dealt with for the last three years... let's just say that we needed this. For four straight years, we've suffered the sting of defeat, always wondering if next year was our year. When your team hasn't won a title for so long... well, it's difficult to explain the feeling.

It's a Philly thing, but we don't get to win all that often, and we see our neighbors seemingly win all the time. And I don't care when Redskins fans or Giants fans or Satan's minions (a.k.a. Cowboys fans) mock our lack of Super Bowl hardware... but I still want that title. And now I can taste it.

Hey, the Pats are a better team than we are. But we have a shot, and we have two weeks to bask in the limelight (it took a while to find a good end to that sentance, as the Lord of Truth knows). I get to watch Super Bowl press interviews of Donovan McNabb. I get two weeks of speculation about T.O. playing. I get two weeks of Jeremiah Trotter's intense glare and thank yous about leaving DC. I get Brian Dawkins, telling the world about being loose and lethal. And I get two weeks of Andy Reid press conferences -- usually boring, but now filled with more humor.

If we lose, we'll remember it wistfully. If we win, well, no other game will ever feel so good again. But either way, enjoy the next fourteen days. There won't be another time like this.

E-A-G-L-E-S, EAGLES!

Sunday, January 23, 2005

The Way It Will Be

Well, I finally read the CBS Report. Eh.

Feel free to read it if you like. I'll say only this much about it -- it lays out plenty of facts and shows that the panel did a solid job of investigating this mess. Solid, not spectacular, because there are a number of factual questions that need follow-up, although that would likely be true in any case. Unfortunately, the report also refuses to draw firm conclusions that one could or would normally reach after a review of the facts. As a lawyer, it reminds me of a summer associate memo -- we have to make sure that we put forth both positions on the issue, because we're afraid of being wrong (in fact, I was once a summer associate at Kirkpatrick & Lockhart, the firm that produced the report. Good firm, great people, including Dick Thornburgh). A friend and I used to joke that the ending to a perfect summer associate memo would be something like "One thing is for certain -- if things don't stay the same, they're bound to get better or worse."

In this instance, I don't think the panel was afraid to draw some conclusions, but it definitely avoided them -- namely, it avoided the conclusion that CBS exhibited bias. As Leslie Moonves' statement for CBS noted:

We are also gratified that the Panel, after extensive analysis and consideration, has found that, while CBS News made numerous errors of judgment and execution in this story, these mistakes were not motivated by any political agenda. As the Report states, "The Panel does not find a basis to accuse those who investigated, produced, vetted or aired the Segment of having a political bias."
Now that's a strong statement to make after concluding that everyone involved in the story rushed to put the story on the air. The working theory in the media is that that CBS wanted to beat the competition to the story. Again, the credibility of this statement is somewhat questionable. This story had dangled from the hook for years, and had been investigated to hell and back. After all, Bush had won two elections in Texas and won the Presidency of the United States in 2000, yet these some documents had never surfaced before? No one at CBS bothered to ask that question of Mary Mapes or anyone else, yet it's easily the most obvious question that should occur to any unbiased observer. You know, the same sorts of questions CBS and every other mainstream media outlet asked about the Swift Boat Veterans (the answers to the questions were so unsatisfactory that these outlets refused to run the story until the Kerry campaign attacked the Swifties).

There are, of course, other unanswered questions. We still have no idea who forged the memos -- it could be Bill Burkett, it could be someone who gave it to him. And we still need someone to find out how the Democratic National Committee's "Fortunate Son" ad campaign against Bush was scheduled to start just a few days after the report aired.

But these questions will likely go unanswered, because the media doesn't want to draw attention to the crap behind the curtain. It's bad enough that CBS screwed up this badly, but the majority of the mainstream media is now working in a mode where it protects its own integrity after allowing CBS to throw four unlucky souls under the bus. But this event is only the latest manifestation of the media opting to refuse to deal with its biggest problem -- the liberal media bias that dominates their business, and continues to destroy their credibility.

Bernard Goldberg, who's managed to write two best-sellers about the bias in his business, has always put forth the idea that there's no conspiracy in the media, just something similar to groupthink. The mainstream media believes that the liberal position is reasonable and middle-of-the-road, because that's where they, the media, stand. In this sense, it's almost impossible for a journalist to report the news objectively, becuase their inherent bias creeps into their reporting.

But even Goldberg admits that the analogy only goes so far. As he noted in Arrogance, the media reporting on a January 16, 2002 incident at Appalachian School of Law in Virginia clearly demonstrated the media's anti-gun bias. Goldberg recounted the tale as told by most media organizations -- a failing student goes on a shooting rampage with a handgun, killing a dean, a professor and another student (and wounding three other students) before being tackled and subdued by three other students.

Great story, right? Except for the fact that the great majority of news stories (over 90%, by every count including Goldberg's) omitted the fact that two of the students who had purportedly tackled and subdued the gunmen had first raced to their cars and grabbed their own handguns.

As Goldberg noted, there are disputes as to whether the handguns really had an impact on the capture of the gunmen. But failing to report this fact, for whatever reason, is ridiculous. And it's typical of the media. There's more at work there than unconcious bias -- that's the media elite trying to portray the story in a light that's favorable to its agenda.

The problem for the media is the failure to acknowledge that they have become a mouthpiece for advocacy. A few folks are finally stating it. Howard Fineman of Newsweek penned a story where he declared the death of the so-called "American Mainstream Media Party" (AMMP). Fineman stated, quite simply, that the concept of a non-partisan media is long dead, at least in the view of the public at large. He feels it's a loss, although I disagree. But the interesting note is where he thinks the media began taking positions...

Still, the notion of a neutral, non-partisan mainstream press was, to me at least, worth holding onto. Now it's pretty much dead, at least as the public sees things. The seeds of its demise were sown with the best of intentions in the late 1960s, when the AMMP was founded in good measure (and ironically enough) by CBS. Old folks may remember the moment: Walter Cronkite stepped from behind the podium of presumed objectivity to become an outright foe of the war in Vietnam. Later, he and CBS's star White House reporter, Dan Rather, went to painstaking lengths to make Watergate understandable to viewers, which helped seal Richard Nixon's fate as the first president to resign.

The crusades of Vietnam and Watergate seemed like a good idea at the time, even a noble one, not only to the press but perhaps to a majority of Americans. The problem was that, once the AMMP declared its existence by taking sides, there was no going back. A party was born.
Fineman is partially right and partially wrong. He's right on the facts, with a caveat -- one that's all my opinion. I think the media probably began taking positions on issues before Vietnam, but something changed with Vietnam. Before, the media reported on the issues and expressed viewpoints, but there wasn't a presumotion -- an arrogance -- that they held the reasonable point of view on an issue, and that the other side's point of view, while it needed to be represented, also need to be portrayed in the proper light -- as extreme or just flat-out wrong.

Keep in mind, the media and the country were involved in watching the death of Jim Crow laws in the South and advances in civil rights where the good guys, like Martin Luther King, truly were on the side of the angels. And they walked into a situtation in Vietnam where the U.S. government's policy seemed heavy-handed and wrong. Tack on Watergate, and the media now believed that their deeply held beliefs were being vindicated. Even more, the media began to feel as if it was not only the reporter of the disputes, but also the true representative of the American people.

But that's where the media went wrong. Look, the "Mainstream Media" (MSM) never represented, nor does it represent, mainstream America. The mainstream in Fineman's AMMP represented the mainstream thought in the media, not in America. The MSM could not figure out why the American people voted for Ronald Reagan. The MSM could not understand why Bush beat Dukakis. The MSM cannot understand why the majority of the American people approve of the death penalty, supported welfare reform, disapprove of affirmative action quotas, like owning guns, disapprove of gay marriage and why so many Americans go to church every Sunday -- they perceive all these things as true, but they can't understand them. There is a tendency to try to influence these views by putting forth their own as the better point of view while ignoring the other side (concious media bias) and there's a failure to see the other side because the media elite live in an echo chamber (unconscious media bias). Both types of bias are a problem.

In the end, I think Fineman's wrong on one point. The death of the so-called AMMP is a good thing, not a bad one. Yes, America may have trusted Walter Cronkite like no other man in America, but should America have trusted him? In the end, we now have news coming at us from countless outlets, and some people decry the bias inherent in these outlets. What they fail to realize is that it's difficult to erase bias from the media, and it's better to promote the free exchange of information.

Yes, there are plenty of people who accept the words of Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity as gospel. But there are plenty of folks who feel the same way about Carville and Begala on Crossfire, or so-called neutral outlets like Jennings and Rather. The difference is that conservatives now have their own arena in pop culture where their beliefs are being expressed. They don't have to live within the liberal echo chamber all the time. Don't get me wrong --popular culture is still dominated by the liberal point of view. It is very hard, if not impossible, for a conservative to ignore the liberal point of view. I'd say the converse is much easier for liberals.

People will become better informed with more information. Yes, some of it is crap -- but some of it has always been, and always will be, crap. But that's the price of free speech in our society. And we have to trust the consumer to be able to pick out the nuggets of truth, or at least the credible information, from the drek.

In the end, people will only continue to accept news and information form a source if they find it trustworthy, because that's the nature of the free-market exchange of information. Selling out that trust for the sake of your political view, as the left-wing dishrag and CBS are learning, will make people less likely to trust you as either a reporter or an advocate. And there are conservatives who have learned the same lesson, although it's a little less of a story -- after all, they haven't been the mainstream media in this country for the last thirty-plus years.

In the end, it's media arrogance that is now being exposed by the alternative media, especially bloggers. Last week, Opinion Journal noted, on January 13th and 14th, that bloggers had torn apart Nick Kristof's ridiculous column comparing U.S. infant mortality to that of Cuba and China. Kristof missed several key facts and misrepresented others. Do you think that such a truth would ever reach a wider audience in the days before talk radio, Fox News and the Internet? What about the Sarah Boxer story in the left-wing dishrag from earlier this week on the Iraq the Model bloggers? Would anyone have reached the rest of the world with a story that portrayed the other side in that debate?

The MSM is right to feel as if it's credibility is under attack. What they need to realize is that there's a reason -- it's their own fault. And that, as Cronkite would never say, is just the way it is.

The NFC Title Game is Here, Part III

When you're a Philly sports fan, you spend a lot of time in pain.

Today WILL NOT be one of those days.

Eagles 17, Falcons 7.

See you in Jacksonville, guys.